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    Quote Originally Posted by supe View Post
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    Wow the ultimate validation

    I actually bought more at 950, kind of saw the writing on the wall that they are having a better than expected quarter. I've made a a couple of Tesla's now. If I didn't get laid off I would have ordered a Y for the wife.

    And yes I bought the short shorts
    I commend you on 1) the balls to make this bet, 2) being right and 3) the short shorts.
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    Today was kinda flat... hype money ended up in Walmart

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    Quote Originally Posted by supe View Post
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    Wow the ultimate validation

    I actually bought more at 950, kind of saw the writing on the wall that they are having a better than expected quarter. I've made a a couple of Tesla's now. If I didn't get laid off I would have ordered a Y for the wife.

    And yes I bought the short shorts
    Want to buy my 3 @supe ? It's red so both your wife and her boyfriend would love it. Super good deal just for you

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by ercchry View Post
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    Today was kinda flat... hype money ended up in Walmart
    Yeah. You should probably sell some calls on this hype.
    Last edited by The_Rural_Juror; 07-07-2020 at 05:49 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Want to buy my 3 @supe ? Super good deal just for you

    - - - Updated - - -



    Yeah. You should probably sell some calls on this hype.
    Everyone knows you write puts, cause stonks only go up

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    Quote Originally Posted by ercchry View Post
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    Everyone knows you write puts, cause stonks only go up
    You so good at this. You should teach everyone how to make tendies.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    You so good at this. You should teach everyone how to make tendies.
    You never shared you TSLA DD... don’t worry, I got you:

    Hey guys. Keep loading up on $TSLA calls, because at this rate, they're only going to go up.

    There are two huge reasons; one is based on real evidence, the other is my autistic brain figuring out Elon's 2000 IQ play.

    Number one, and the obvious reason $TSLA is going up at this rate, is due to Elon's recent bonus deal.

    Elon will be awarded a 55.8 billion bonus should the company reach the 650 billion mark within the next 10 years (as well as other set conditions). This plan was originally started in 2018 I believe, so he's just being aggressive and trying to fulfill this duty.

    The second, 3000 IQ play that Elon is doing right now is YUGE.

    For some background, Tesla recently announced that their factories produced around 100,000 vehicles this quarter, drastically exceeding expectations, and putting them on the road to break even, and even better - exceed earnings. This will give Elon and Tesla their 4th positive quarter in a row, which could land them on the S&P 500, increasing investor confidence, therefore increasing value, sending them closer to that 650 million mark.

    This is where Elon's big brain, 4000 IQ play is coming into play.

    Elon understands us degenerates; he understands our bullish nature, our gambling nature, and the retards and autists alike - and here's the thing - although they exceeded production expectations, earnings may or may not break even or be positive.

    So, he, Grimes, Kanye, his team, and his group of investors, etc. are doing what they can to moon Tesla, and along with it, put money in our pockets. Elon figured out if he can somehow get money in our pockets, earned off of Tesla stock, we would then take those tendies to a Tesla dealer, and buy a brand new model S, X, Y, Cyber Truck, you name it, therefore pushing them to their earnings goal, and reaching that milestone, landing them on the S&P 500.

    So keep buying calls, because $TSLA is about to moon. It's free tendies; free tendies to be spent on a brand new Tesla, or two.

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    Quote Originally Posted by supe View Post
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    Wow the ultimate validation

    I actually bought more at 950, kind of saw the writing on the wall that they are having a better than expected quarter. I've made a a couple of Tesla's now. If I didn't get laid off I would have ordered a Y for the wife.

    And yes I bought the short shorts
    I meant to say it doesn't make sense to me haha. Nice to see you again supe. I miss our banter in this thread. Congrats on the run. I got out long ago.
    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
    I have gone above and beyond what I should rightfully have to do to protect my good name

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    Alright mofos, my mom is at Tai Chi and she left the internet on - meaning that I have 30 minutes to write this among other stuff.

    I don't post a lot here because I like to leave it for the smart people, but I do clean Haskayne toilets regularly thus I hear a lot of great financial advice so let me break down why you shouldn't short Tesla. But if you want to listen to me, regurgitating the discussions between two professors while they lay down some logs, and not do your own due diligence...you are probably dumber than the goofball who...ahh fuck nevermind I don't have time for this.

    1) You cannot value Tesla as a car company. It is an amalgation of probably 8 or 10 tech companies staffed with some of the best engineers and scientists in the world. Tesla and SpaceX are where the top graduates want to work at. Valuing them as a car company is like valuing Amazon as a bookstore, Netflix as a mail order DVD company, and Domino's as a pizza company. Don't be silly - these are all disruptors and they all come with a lot of controversy while the public figures out what to call them.

    2) The world is shifting to EV. Forget redneck oil country - think of all the places in the world where gasoline is expensive and pollution abundant. The shutdowns from COVID19 has made people realize that they want cleaner air. There are also a fuckton of subsidies on EVs in some states and several countries.

    3) Q2 deliveries beat estimates more than your drunk dad beat you. Q1 and Q2 was going to be the toughest quarters for the year. They eaked out a surprise profit in Q1 and smashed estimates in Q2. During C19 no less! This is very significant - more on this later.

    4) They make almost all of their own shit. They are the largest consumers of batteries in the world and their partnerships allow them to produce these batteries. So much that competitors such as VFAG had trouble getting a reliable source. They also began making their own chips (something Apple is starting to do).

    5) They make good shit. Their acquisitions of companies such as CATL, SilLion, that funky design studio in Berlin that was designing shit for MB and is going to be making the vaccine machine, etc all bring in good patents and knowledge. Make no mistake - Tesla cuck'd MB. Project Roadrunner is up and running where they're going to make a million mile battery. Why do they need a battery that lasts many times longer than a car?

    6) Virtual power plants. Not only do they have fucking solar, they have approvals and the technology to store that energy and create virtual power plants to sell the energy back to the grid. The idea is that your vehicle could end up being a storage point in addition to the Powerwalls. The first part is already in use in South Australia. California and Nevada are going to be nice markets. Basically anywhere that's hotter than your asshole after spicy wing night.

    7) The cars are pretty fun to drive for the price point. See closet Tesla fan - Benyl. Maintenance costs on the cars are minimal.

    8) Ridesharing, ride hailing, autonomous driving - BMW and MB are Level 3 autonomous research bros no more. No one knows why but it is probably due to lack of data. Teslas log an insane amount of data for analysis. No one else comes close. Waymo seems like it could work, but who wants to drive around with a big ass testicle on the roof their car? They are still pretty far due to lack of data points and also come with inherent weaknesses.

    9) Semi - this shit is in production. Forget NKLA. That's BS. Production is shifting to Semis after the Y and they have the damn infrastructure to follow up. This is a massive market with 950,000 trucks sold annually.

    10) Infrastructure - who else has the charging infrastructure that can match?

    11) Brand recognition and fan bois - What does Tom Brady drive to nail his Gisele's best friend? A Model S P100D. Rogan's a fanboi. Drake. Ye. Yanni. The T has as much brand recognition as Apple without having to make an embarassing Bondi Blue iMac.

    12) S&P 500 inclusion. They need to show a GAAP profit in Q2 to be eligible for S&P500 inclusion. What's the big donkey dick deal, ercchry Jordan Belfort Jr asks? It's a fucking big deal. Tesla should slot in at around the 14th largest company in the index, right by Intel. This means that all S&P500 ETFs will have to purchase Tesla shares at around the same time. 1% of perhaps 10 trillion dollars worth of ETFs representing the S&P works out to be about 70 million shares of Tesla. Let's presume that the good Finance 101 professor's sharts drowned out the important bits of the Econ 433 professor's arguments and the real number is 35 million shares. That's not too bad ercchry thinks. 35 mill...he makes that in 3 strangles and an iron penis. Well, it's 35 million shares. Out of around 145 million shares of free float. That's more significant than your stepmom's fake tits.

    There are plenty more reasons but I am sure that I am just wasting my time with the smart asses here. Thought I would at least share some of my learnings with the rest of you all. Mom's back. I hope this Boss key works.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by ercchry View Post
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    You never shared you TSLA DD... don’t worry, I got you:
    You are so smart. Please post some screen shots of you selling calls on Tesla tomorrow. Oh wait - you are not allowed to write options on your training wheels account. Even my mom could do that and she rocks a Startec flip phone.
    Last edited by The_Rural_Juror; 07-07-2020 at 10:01 PM.
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    TRJ has amazing posts

    That is all.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age."

    -H.P. Lovecraft

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Alright mofos, my mom is at Tai Chi and she left the internet on - meaning that I have 30 minutes to write this among other stuff.

    I don't post a lot here because I like to leave it for the smart people, but I do clean Haskayne toilets regularly so I hear a lot of great financial advice so let me break down why you shouldn't short Tesla. But if you want to listen to me, regurgitating the discussions between two professors while they lay down some logs, and not do your own due diligence...you are probably dumber than the goofball who...ahh fuck nevermind I don't have time for this.

    1) You cannot value Tesla as a car company. It is an amalgation of probably 8 or 10 tech companies staffed with some of the best engineers and scientists in the world. Tesla and SpaceX are where the top graduates want to work at. Valuing them as a car company is like valuing Amazon as a bookstore, Netflix as a mail order DVD company, and Domino's as a pizza company. Don't be silly - these are all disruptors and they all come with a lot of controversy while the public figures out what to call them.

    2) The world is shifting to EV. Forget redneck oil country - think of all the places in the world where gasoline is expensive and pollution abundant. The shutdowns from COVID19 has made people realize that they want cleaner air. There are also a fuckton of subsidies on EVs in some states and several countries.

    3) Q2 deliveries beat estimates more than your drunk dad beat you. Q1 and Q2 was going to be the toughest quarters for the year. They eaked out a surprise profit in Q1 and smashed estimates in Q2. During C19 no less! This is very significant - more on this later.

    4) They make almost all of their own shit. They are the largest consumers of batteries in the world and their partnerships allow them to produce these batteries. So much that competitors such as VFAG had trouble getting a reliable source. They also began making their own chips (something Apple is starting to do).

    5) They make good shit. Their acquisitions of companies such as CATL, SilLion, that funky design studio in Berlin that's was designing shit for MB and is going to be making the vaccine machine, etc all bring in good patents and knowledge. Project Roadrunner is up and running where they're going to make a million mile battery. Why do they need a battery that lasts many times longer than a car?

    6) Virtual power plants. Not only do they have fucking solar, they have approvals and the technology to store that energy and create virtual power plants to sell the energy back to the grid. The idea is that your vehicle could end up being a storage point in addition to the Powerwalls. The first part is already in use in South Australia. California and Nevada are going to be nice markets. Basically anywhere that's hotter than your asshole after spicy wing night.

    7) The cars are pretty fun to drive for the price point. See closet Tesla fan - Benyl. Maintenance costs on the cars are minimal.

    8) Ridesharing, ride hailing, autonomous driving - BMW and MB are Level 3 autonomous research bros no more. No one knows why but it is probably due to lack of data. Teslas log an insane amount of data for analysis. No one else comes close. Waymo seems like it could work, but who wants to drive around with a big ass testicle on the roof their car? They are still pretty far due to lack of data points and also come with inherent weaknesses.

    9) Semi - this shit is in production. Forget NKLA. That's BS. Production is shifting to Semis after the Y and they have the damn infrastructure to follow up. This is a massive market with 950,000 trucks sold annually.

    10) Infrastructure - who else has the charging infrastructure that can match?

    11) Brand recognition and fan bois - What does Tom Brady drive to nail his Gisele's best friend? A Model S P100D. Rogan's a fanboi. Drake. Ye. Yanni. The T has as much brand recognition as Apple without having to make an embarassing Bondi Blue iMac.

    12) S&P 500 inclusion. They need to show a GAAP profit in Q2 to be eligible for S&P500 inclusion. What's the big donkey dick deal, ercchry Jordan Belfort Jr asks? It's a fucking big deal. Tesla should slot in at around the 14th largest company in the index, right by Intel. This means that all S&P500 ETFs will have to purchase Tesla shares at around the same time. 1% of perhaps 10 trillion dollars worth of ETFs representing the S&P works out to be about 70 million shares of Tesla. Let's presume that the good Finance 101 professor's sharts drowned out the important bits of the Econ 433 professor's arguments and the real number is 35 million shares. That's not too bad ercchry thinks. 35 mill...he makes that in 3 strangles and an iron penis. Well, it's 35 million shares. Out of around 145 million shares of free float. That's more significant than your stepmom's fake tits.

    There are plenty more reasons but I am sure that I am just wasting my time with the smart asses here. Thought I would at least share some of my learnings with the rest of you all. Mom's back. I hope this Boss key works.

    - - - Updated - - -



    You are so smart. Please post some screen shots of you selling calls on Tesla tomorrow. Oh wait - you are not allowed to write options on your training wheels account. Even my mom could do that and she rocks a Startec flip phone.
    I think you went from tendies to full buckets of chicken with that one
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.

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    Mom insisted on going to the pharmacist to get a C19 test after "accidentally" making out with her Tai Chi instructor so I guess I have a little bit of free time between this thankless shit and watching Amber Brkich curb stomp some young buck on Survivor 40.

    13) Cybertruck - this shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Its tenure at the Petersen museum already got extended due to popular demand. Ever seen the GMC Sierra in that museum? People love this shit. The popo loves this shit, with departments reporting that the payback period for their Tesla vehicles were 25-40% shorter than anticipated. The redneck militia loves this shit and the Taliban probably needs to replace some of the Hiluxes. There are already something like 700k of reservations. That is a lot - even if a quarter of the people show up with their tendies, that's what...a couple of years of production?

    14) States are tripping over themselves offering incentives for Tesla to build a factory there. See Tulsa, Austin, and probably Saskatoon. The next Terafactory is going to be "YUGE".

    15) Shanghai factory was completed in 168 days. That's a record for a large construction. The Berlin factory is looking to come close - even without the communist comrades and lower restrictions on their side. Building in Germany was the smart thing to do. If they can survive the brand loyalty there, they will have no trouble with the rest of Europe. Keep in mind that German families are fiercely loyal to their brands. Shanghai giga is already building a mysterious expansion - some say it's for the cybertruck, some say it's for the upcoming Model 2. All I know is that it's not the Stig.

    16) Model Y is fucking awesome. See the Munro tear down. The guy almost cracked a smile for the Y even after hating on the 3 a while back. This is going to replace the 3 as the best selling vehicle in their lineup.

    17) Casting. Model 3 back end is over 100 parts. Model Y...2 large parts. Not to mention the wiring setup they have patented to reduce time, parts, and save massive costs. AND the patent for the laser windshield wiper for the new Roadster. They are going to pulverize debris from your windshield with fucking lazors!

    18) Notwithstanding the fact that they can raise more money than your sister at amateur night, they had about $1.3b in cash at the end of last quarter. It's not so much money to withstand the cash burn, but funds to acquire. They also loss only 5% in sales in the last quarter which is way lower than the other automakers.

    19) Elon is a madlad. This dude has the work ethic of an Arctic Tern and knows more about the formulations of Cheetos than you or I will ever know in two lifetimes. He don't care about money or the bonus he made - which he rightfully deserves. He almost went broke with SpaceX and Model 3. Downside...he's a madlad. Do you really want to step against a guy who just put two with fashionably sensible suits in space and landed boosters on floating wet napkins?

    20) See how "maximum short" Jim Chanos is doing.

    That is way more than I was willing to say because I respect the confidentiality of toilet conversations. Fuck you all for wasting my Love Island time.

    Edit: Fuck you all again. Sincerely.
    Last edited by The_Rural_Juror; 07-07-2020 at 08:54 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darkane View Post
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    TRJ has amazing posts

    That is all.
    haha that was a great read.

    Started watching 30 Rock and uh huh The Rurr Jurr .... oh I get it haha Yes I know only 15 years late to the party lol

    TRJ reminds me of GTS_Jeff back in the day, just bringing it with his posts lol
    max_boost is a name known to all

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    Rur Jur is a great nickname that I forthwith declare to be used exclusively.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster View Post
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    Rur Jur is a great nickname that I forthwith declare to be used exclusively.
    Seconded
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    Public Mobile is the best, just like Phil Collins' mullet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExtraSlow View Post
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    Seconded
    Thirded. But I think it needs the double r’s
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.

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    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
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    Thirded. But I think it needs the double r’s
    Rurr Jurr.

    This is the way.

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    Fuck you all (except baby faced max_boost). Now TSLA is going to tank and @supe can't afford to my Model 3.
    Das baby kann noch kein bier trinken

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Fuck you all (except baby faced max_boost). Now TSLA is going to tank and @supe can't afford to my Model 3.
    Tell me how you feel about this ETF? https://ark-funds.com/arkk
    max_boost is a name known to all

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Fuck you all (except baby faced max_boost). Now TSLA is going to tank and @supe can't afford to my Model 3.
    Did your mom give it to you? She sounds like a nice lady...

    Pics?
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.

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