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Thread: Advice on dealing with brutal supervisor

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    Default Advice on dealing with brutal supervisor

    Hey guys. Hoping to get some advice on how to deal with a supervisor. I've been in oil & gas for 10 yrs and have never experienced anything like this before. I got hired at a new company back in the summer of 2012. The supervisor at the time was fantastic. Best I've ever had. Then there was a re-org and spring of 2013 this new girl was hired and I work for her now. She is the worst micro-manager I have ever worked for. Tears apart any document I submit (does this to the whole team), takes every opportunity to point out what I did wrong and never mentions anything I did well. Takes every opportunity to make me look bad and throw me under the bus for the smallest of things. My performance in 10 yrs has never been in question, and now she treats me like I'm the shittiest worker ever. Even the smallest things that she doesn't like get brought up. She even cc's her boss on e-mails when she gives me shit. I've never worked for anybody like this and have no idea what to do. I'm pretty sure going to HR is a waste of time, and her boss and her fellow leads will take her back over mine. Quitting as also not an option. I'm constantly stressed out about "what will she find/say next". Every time I have a meeting with her or get an e-mail from her, my stress level spikes like crazy. I have never hated my job so much because of a lead. I can't work like this anymore Any ideas?

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    PMd

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    I've worked with people like this. If she is truly doing the same to everyone, it is bound to catch up with her one day. However, if she hasn't been supervising people for long then there is a good chance they haven't caught onto it yet and you're pretty much a test guinea pig, and in this case your only real option is to quit and submit a complaint to HR, or just take it.

    The person in my case went through workers left right and centre. The HR documentation against her was massive, but even still she was not forced to quit. She ended up moving to another company, but after that didn't suit her tastes she asked to come back. Only then did the paperwork catch up with her.

    So, sorry to hear it man but you're kinda stuck. Luckily, in O&G once your foot is in the door you can probably fairly easily go elsewhere.

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    have you tried talking to her face to face about this?

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    Is this a finance& Accounting gig by chance? Is she from public practice by chance?

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    Ask her to stop being difficult if that doesn't work just record her with your cell phone

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    Have you considered requesting a transfer?

    Are the things she is pointing out in your work legitimate? She does have a right to criticize you for doing things wrong... There isn't much context here for us to go on so we don't really know if she has a legitimate reason for being hard on you.

    If it was me I would put more effort into doing things correctly, even if it means that pace suffers. If she complains about pace you need to indicate that you can't have your cake and eat it to...

    Just my 0.02
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    guessing who I might be, psychologizing me with your non existent degree.

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    I haven't spoken to her directly yet. I don't know if that will do more harm then good. She just takes every opportunity to shit on me and the majority of it is such small insignificant crap, but to her it must be the world. I can do nothing right lately it seems. It's actually affecting my work. I am so worried about everything I say and do that I'm starting to make mistakes where I normally don't. I am stressed at work and at home constantly.

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    Originally posted by superflychief
    I haven't spoken to her directly yet. I don't know if that will do more harm then good. She just takes every opportunity to shit on me and the majority of it is such small insignificant crap, but to her it must be the world. I can do nothing right lately it seems. It's actually affecting my work. I am so worried about everything I say and do that I'm starting to make mistakes where I normally don't. I am stressed at work and at home constantly.
    I'll be 100% honest with you. I was the same, in simallar positon of yours.

    Standup, and talk to HR. Theres a difference between managing, and affecting performance and job moral. Her micomanaging leads to less productivity and creative thinking as people overthink about her rejecting and shutting you down on everything.

    If you feel you do not want to talk HR directly, create a false email on hotmail or something and fire HR an email saying you have this anonymous account in fear of... loosing your job so to say, or fear you might get penalized.

    If you can not stand up for yourself, your work ethic, and great company record to be tarnished by this bitch.. than you should quit...

    Simple.
    Last edited by TheStigz; 01-22-2014 at 03:18 PM.

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    Originally posted by killramos
    Have you considered requesting a transfer?

    Are the things she is pointing out in your work legitimate? She does have a right to criticize you for doing things wrong... There isn't much context here for us to go on so we don't really know if she has a legitimate reason for being hard on you.

    If it was me I would put more effort into doing things correctly, even if it means that pace suffers. If she complains about pace you need to indicate that you can't have your cake and eat it to...

    Just my 0.02
    This.

    I would absolutely go over my leads head if this happens. I have a closer relationship with higher-ups than average in my company, and every single one of them says people rarely approach them, and it's frustrating. If you don't tell them, how will they know? What's the worst that happens?

    Most importantly, though, if she's shitting on you constantly, make sure you eliminate the possibility for her to do this (i.e. do better work) as much as possible before bringing up the issue with her superiors. I wouldn't bring this through HR.

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    Originally posted by superflychief
    I haven't spoken to her directly yet. I don't know if that will do more harm then good. She just takes every opportunity to shit on me and the majority of it is such small insignificant crap, but to her it must be the world. I can do nothing right lately it seems. It's actually affecting my work. I am so worried about everything I say and do that I'm starting to make mistakes where I normally don't. I am stressed at work and at home constantly.
    It appears she does not respect you, so taking the Dr. Phil, talk it out approach, is a total waste of time and it will only wind her up. You said she came in as your boss after you'd been there for some time. Where did she come from? What do her ex-coworkers think of her? Why was she transferred? Knowing her history might help in establishing a plan. I suspect she was moved to your office after becoming a problem child in the previous office.

    Bringing this up with HR or her bosses will only go so far, if you are willing to risk the possibility of continuing to work under her after they call her in for only a warning. You think her attitude will be better? The odds of her being fired are not great. You need her gone.

    I'd arrange for a transfer (she may shit on this) or a move to a new company. The current company appears to move around problem managers, perhaps she is the litigious type and the company knows this.
    Last edited by CanmoreOrLess; 01-22-2014 at 03:27 PM.

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    Why is quitting not an option? You've got 10 years experience under your belt and you're not willing to shop yourself around?

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    If you do need to confront her, I would for sure bring HR with you. if this i a big company, you may want to write a formal letter of complaint, and make sure it gets to her, HR and her boss.

    You say your performance has never been in question. Attach previous positive performance reivews if you can.

    Probably can't get her fired, but you may be able to prevent her getting you fired.
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    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

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    Have you thought about talking with your co-workers who you say she also shits on? If no one is man enough to handle the situation themselves then why don't you submit a formal complaint as a group? Not only does coming in numbers look better on your side (its not just you that doesn't get along with her, its multiple people) but it also eliminates the possibility of her being able to single one person out (if she were to take her shitty actions even further/ act revengefully).

    I know it may be hard, but it seems in most big companies the higher ups want to hear about this stuff, and they wont look negatively upon you (providing you have reasonable complaints).

    edit: You could also pull the Dwight Schrute and go above her head and tell her boss that you can do her job better than her and see where that goes...haha.
    Last edited by leftwing; 01-22-2014 at 05:45 PM.

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    If she is emailing you and CC'ing her boss when addressing your performance, her gripes are justified. If you were not making mistakes or doing your job properly, she would not be able to gripe, and she definitely not be CC'ing her boss if she was just trying to make your life hard. Because if she really was just being spiteful or whatever, her boss would have stepped in long ago.

    If I am completely wrong in this, then you should be filing a complaint with HR not just for her, but her boss as well as they know what is going on.

    my 2 cents.
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    Great more stories of women in positions of power.

    Blunt - you might have to be more alpha. Seriously.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age."

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    Originally posted by Darkane
    Blunt - you might have to be more alpha. Seriously.
    As much as this sounds like a sketch idea this is exactly how I had to deal with a similar situation.

    Female boss was slipped into a role above me after her former position was filled during her mat leave and was under the impression that her condescending behaviour would be tolerated by me like it was by her former group. We clashed pretty hard for a while but I've now trained her so she realizes that when she behaves appropriately and respectfully she gets positive results.

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    Originally posted by Darkane
    Great more stories of women in positions of power.

    Blunt - you might have to be more alpha. Seriously.
    Totally agree, maybe borrow a dog training book and apply those techniques to her

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    HR is not on your side, ever. You'll just create a negative paper trail that leads to you and will follow you around. She is a manager, you are a piss ant. She's in that position because she has the ear and confidence of higher management. She'll deny everything, act surprised, point out the fact she wished you'd have come to her earlier about this, then say she hasn't had any other hurt feelings issues brought to hear attention from the other piss ants, and then she'll promise to sincerely accommodate your particular needs. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.....now you look unstable. HR will try to smooth it over saying it's a personality conflict or misunderstanding; crocodile smiles all around the table. But you created the conflict and it's because of your personality. Please place nuts in purse. Then she'll really turn the heat up. You've painted her a bitch and placed her competency as a manager in question in front of her superiors.

    So now you get to see her every morning while she takes the extra time to be nice to you and say hello and fake small talk your nuts further in your purse. And then you still have the pleasure of submitting your work to her; which you know she's finding errors with, but she's being so gentle, so "high road" with you because of your formally documented sensitivities with HR. Meanwhile she's CCing all your screw ups to the Senior VP of Fuckingbitch, validating to her in black and white your recurring errors, the amount of time being wasted with her correcting your work, and further proving that she's not the problem, you are. But there never was any doubt anyway, because your supervisor and the Senior VP of Fuckingbitch have known each other for a long time while the fought it out in the trenches for years to ascend to where they are now, and they've seen your type before. They'll talk about you over lattes while their kids play together. They'll sip and sigh and chuckle about how much harder it is than they expected dealing with the emotional needs of the help. Before you know it you get the privilege of a "mentor" or "coaching opportunity" and at that point your nuts fall right out of your purse and are stomped on the ground by the cruel boots of realization that you'll never reach an executive level and those those that make decisions in the industry already know all about you.

    If you can't get a bunch of people together with the same complaints you'll just be a problem child and get nowhere. Nowhere good anyway. Sometimes that doesn't work either. Transfer within the company. Or update your resume and hit the bricks.
    Last edited by Ven; 01-22-2014 at 06:55 PM.

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    ^^ exactly! Women are super emotional, they're not hard to figure out.

    I'd rather be her employee than her husband.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age."

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