Stay At Home Dads

[403Gemini]

Originally posted by nicknolte
My neighbor did this. Sold his previous business to stay at home with daughter, and has been a stay at home dad for about a decade now.

As far as I know he helps fill the time by volunteering at his daughter's school, and runs a leisure-based sporting goods business out of his home.

He's just volunteering to meet young moms

... and good for him I'd do the same.

Find a way to socialize your child which also enables you to socialize with other adults - if you don't do this you will go crazy. (Join "mom-clubs" and such)

edit: Also , don't find any shame in staying at home with your kid contrary to what some people think. I know some people think stay at home dads are dead beats / lazy - I find most that do actively participate in their kids lives which is crucial and very important and I think it's good. If the mom makes enough money and is fine with you not working, then who cares. It just ensures that if you have a daughter you likely won't see her on girls gone wild since she'll have a good father figure

[n1zm0]

Originally posted by rob the knob
isn't 80coupe has a lady bread winner and he stays home? he lives a good life based on his posts here. post your secrets.

I don't think that's the case, iirc it's the other way around for 89coupe.

[CapnCrunch]

Throw a lingerie party for all the stay at home moms in your neighborhood.

[Unknown303]

I always dream of being a stay at home dad. It would be awesome to hang out with the kids all the time. And just hilarious to go out for wings with the guys and when everyones bitching about work I'd just get to talk about how my kid didn't want to eat his grill cheese at lunch or how the damn grocery store's out of my 1% Organic Skim Milk.

[sputnik]

Originally posted by chathamf
Any stay at home Dads out there? Im used to working all the time and all of a sudden I find myself going to be home with my little girl for an indefinite period of time. Im on week 2 and I dont know what im going to do with myself. I find myself bored, lacking motivation and unsure what to do all day.


Looking for things to do, good time killers online and any any tips at all to cope with my new dayjob.

I dunno... maybe you could raise your daughter.

My wife is constantly playing, colouring, reading to, going to the park/playdates with our kids.

There is probably laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking and other housework that needs to be done too.

[KRyn]

Wait... I thought being a stay at home dad meant playing golf, tennis and doing activities with other stay at home dads whilst the paid help raised your child?

[LollerBrader]

Originally posted by chathamf
Any stay at home Dads out there? Im used to working all the time and all of a sudden I find myself going to be home with my little girl for an indefinite period of time. Im on week 2 and I dont know what im going to do with myself. I find myself bored, lacking motivation and unsure what to do all day.


Looking for things to do, good time killers online and any any tips at all to cope with my new dayjob.

Been there, done that, loved it, miss the hell out of it.

Early morning I'd make breakfast and then we'd finish with tea, which the girls loved. Do an hour of cleaning together.

Then, we'd go to chapters for storytime. I think it's 10 or 1030. Some chapters have, some don't. Other parents there to talk to. Signal hill is a good one.

Then we'd come home for lunch. After lunch, we'd do a fun activity that would usually take the whole afternoon... Swimming, science center, museum, coffee and scream. Sometimes it involves you, sometimes you watch from the sidelines.

Late afternoon, come home, put them in front of the tv, and do my own thing.

Be cautious of overusing the TV. It's a tool of last resort. This is a special time for you to get to know some of the most amazing people in your lives. It's a gift. Don't see it as a burden.

I found the key is to keep moving, keep a routine that the kids understand. And find ways to interact with other parents - always.

I actually made many acquaintances that way... my wife is always like "How do you know that dude who invited us to X", and I'm like "I met him at the pool". It's kind of a running joke now as it sounds pretty gay.

Moments ago I got a text from a dude inviting me to get together with him and his kids for a playdate - We met at martial arts. Can't make it, but we will one of these times.

But it's part of the reality of spending all yer time with kids and finding ways to not lose your mind.

Probably met more people this way than I have in years.

Easy to meet other moms, too, but should you be so inclined (I'd rather my wife not cut off my balls)


I absolutely LOVED being a stay at home dad. Please ask me anything you want.

[n1zm0]

Originally posted by LollerBrader
Early morning I'd make breakfast and then we'd finish with tea, which the girls loved.
~
Then, we'd go to chapters for storytime.
~
After lunch, we'd do a fun activity that would usually take the whole afternoon... Swimming, science center, museum, coffee and scream.

I would have never expected this from a guy who has a Human Centipede functional diagram as his avatar

[LollerBrader]

Originally posted by LollerBrader




Be cautious of overusing the TV. It's a tool of last resort. This is a special time for you to get to know some of the most amazing people in your lives. It's a gift. Don't see it as a burden.

I found the key is to keep moving, keep a routine that the kids understand. And find ways to interact with other parents - always.

Just an added note: This needn't feel like it's their time... It's YOUR time as well to do things you find fun, and things you may not normally get to explore during the regular 9-5 grind of life.

How many guys get to go swimming for an afternoon several times a week?

You can have "dress up" days where everyone puts on their finest clothes, and you go to a "fancy" restaurant, and then go to the museum... the girls loved that.

If you're into a hobby, you can always involve your kids in your hobby... holding tools... as long as they feel involved and helpful in some way, not just idle observers.

Depending on age, "Science crafts" books are fun..... Kids love the stupid shit like making a plaster of paris volcano, and then seing it "explode" with dyed vinegar/baking soda.

Many classes will also let the parents participate... Ostensibly so you can "help" the kids, but it doesn't mean you can't always use the opportunity to pick up things you missed on your own journey.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can make it fun and rewarding for you too - It need not just feel like "boring kids stuff".

[J.M.]

Originally posted by n1zm0


I would have never expected this from a guy who has a Human Centipede functional diagram as his avatar

Same here

[LollerBrader]

Originally posted by n1zm0


I would have never expected this from a guy who has a Human Centipede functional diagram as his avatar

The kids hate that movie.

[chathamf]

Originally posted by LollerBrader


Been there, done that, loved it, miss the hell out of it.

Early morning I'd make breakfast and then we'd finish with tea, which the girls loved. Do an hour of cleaning together.

Then, we'd go to chapters for storytime. I think it's 10 or 1030. Some chapters have, some don't. Other parents there to talk to. Signal hill is a good one.

Then we'd come home for lunch. After lunch, we'd do a fun activity that would usually take the whole afternoon... Swimming, science center, museum, coffee and scream. Sometimes it involves you, sometimes you watch from the sidelines.

Late afternoon, come home, put them in front of the tv, and do my own thing.

Be cautious of overusing the TV. It's a tool of last resort. This is a special time for you to get to know some of the most amazing people in your lives. It's a gift. Don't see it as a burden.

I found the key is to keep moving, keep a routine that the kids understand. And find ways to interact with other parents - always.

I actually made many acquaintances that way... my wife is always like "How do you know that dude who invited us to X", and I'm like "I met him at the pool". It's kind of a running joke now as it sounds pretty gay.

Moments ago I got a text from a dude inviting me to get together with him and his kids for a playdate - We met at martial arts. Can't make it, but we will one of these times.

But it's part of the reality of spending all yer time with kids and finding ways to not lose your mind.

Probably met more people this way than I have in years.

Easy to meet other moms, too, but should you be so inclined (I'd rather my wife not cut off my balls)


I absolutely LOVED being a stay at home dad. Please ask me anything you want.

Thanks man your info was exactly what I was looking for. I know that I have to spend time with them and parent them like others have stated, but that is the obvious.

Anyone that's actually in the situation would know that you have to think about your own good as well, and that's where I have been struggling. My whole day is all about the kids and I go to bed and do it again. Just need to make it a bit easier mentally and find some more positive things for the both of us to do.

[GTS4tw]

Originally posted by LollerBrader


The kids hate that movie.

haha i almost spit out my coffee

[CapnCrunch]

Originally posted by n1zm0


I would have never expected this from a guy who has a Human Centipede functional diagram as his avatar

I was just about to say.....

I guess meeting guys at the pool makes sense lol.

[LollerBrader]

Originally posted by chathamf


Thanks man your info was exactly what I was looking for. I know that I have to spend time with them and parent them like others have stated, but that is the obvious.

Glad I could help. Here's some more recent learnings that will still apply to you.

Picture storyboards help a lot with replacing power struggled with routine. A grid of pictures that shows a sequence of what you're doing, at what time... We have one of these for bedtime.

TV: Easier to deny than to stop. I find once it goes on, the kids freak if it's taken away. But if they ask, and I just tell them to play instead, it's ok.

TV Quality: I used to control content by just showing them what I had downloaded. I could pick the kids movies.

When I broadened that to YTV, and they started to see commercials, the requests for "cani cani cani have this" started to roll in.

When that further broadened to kids netflix, they started to see some TRULY terrible mind ruining programming. I don't mind them watching TV so much, but some of the shit is pure mind-rot.

Once those doors are opened, they create further challenges... It was much easier when I was showing them downloaded movies.

So beware the TV.. It's a devil's deal.

And in closing, I've found "Laura Marhkam"'s blog to be of greatest use in keeping my head screwed on straight.

Best of luck in your most glorious journey, and please keep us posted.

[Disoblige]

This thread reminded me of my childhood memories. My dad would have night shifts, so in the day, he would take me to walk to the bank or whatever errands he needed to run for the day. Then he'd go have his coffee and I'd eat a Jello with whipped cream on top or something similar. He'd take me grocery shopping, buy tools, get his car fixed, haircut, etc. We'd go out for lunch often too. In the summer we'd go bike riding, swimming outdoors, rollerblading.

I think even though some of this may seem little, it's still memorable to me because we got out of the house and did things together. It was almost like a routine, so on days where I didn't go out, it felt weird and I felt like I had a lot of time on my hands.

[LollerBrader]

Originally posted by CapnCrunch


I guess meeting guys at the pool makes sense lol.

It's the most fucked up thing. Pretty well a running joke around the house. It took a while for it to dawn on me the number of acquaintances I made with the kids.... when the wife pointed it out, I just about choked.... Looked like I was picking up dudes.

But it all kind of makes sense. None of my old buddies have kids, and time to get together on "buddy terms" is scarce.

Life has shifted, and it often makes more sense to have friends on the same path.

I did meet a lot of women, and it was nice to chat, but never pursued anything or provided any info - The cost would simply be too high for me.

I've met dudes who share my line of work.. people who share some of my esoteric hobbies... former soldiers... People who speak the languages I speak. People who struggle to speak the the same languages to their kids as I struggle to speak to my kids. We struggle together and laugh.

It's not a a pool of friends I ever would have anticipated..... It sort of just fell on me and didn't even notice until my wife pointed it out.

[CapnCrunch]

Originally posted by LollerBrader


It's the most fucked up thing. Pretty well a running joke around the house. It took a while for it to dawn on me the number of acquaintances I made with the kids.... when the wife pointed it out, I just about choked.... Looked like I was picking up dudes.

But it all kind of makes sense. None of my old buddies have kids, and time to get together on "buddy terms" is scarce.

Life has shifted, and it often makes more sense to have friends on the same path.

I did meet a lot of women, and it was nice to chat, but never pursued anything or provided any info - The cost would simply be too high for me.

I've met dudes who share my line of work.. people who share some of my esoteric hobbies... former soldiers... People who speak the languages I speak. People who struggle to speak the the same languages to their kids as I struggle to speak to my kids. We struggle together and laugh.

It's not a a pool of friends I ever would have anticipated..... It sort of just fell on me and didn't even notice until my wife pointed it out.

It's funny how when you get older, meeting other men seems so wrong.

[ExtraSlow]

I'm not a stay at home dad, but I do get to have lots of days at home. I find it super important to get out of the house every single day.

My regular haunts:
Rona (only the old totem locations with free popcorn)
the pet store
any mall
the university (this one is best on sundays or holidays)

[chathamf]

Originally posted by ExtraSlow
I'm not a stay at home dad, but I do get to have lots of days at home. I find it super important to get out of the house every single day.

My regular haunts:
Rona (only the old totem locations with free popcorn)
the pet store
any mall
the university (this one is best on sundays or holidays)

what did you do at the university? look for attention from college girls? lol