Pet peeves that should be pet peeves

[ExtraSlow]

The number of this exact email that I get for thirty-five different for-profit conferences all over the damned globe.

Hi ExtraSlow,

I just tried reaching you on the phone.
We have speaker slots available at the upcoming Pipeline Leak Detection 2023 Exhibition & Conference in Houston, Texas.
Would someone from your company be available?
Thanks, and regards.
Calvin
Calvin Lee
Delegate Services Team
Pipeline Leak Detection 2023
Houston, Texas, USA | September 6 – 7, 2023

[killramos]

Maybe you should take a hint about your leaky pipes

[ThePenIsMightier]

He's always quite adamant about "plug my leaky pipes"...
*So I've heard.

[ercchry]

Tell them your keynote fee is $50k + expenses, and you only fly private

[XylathaneGTR]

Received a plastic straw with my afternoon iced tea. Someone should be fired!

[vengie]

Deville hates turtles.

Confirmed.

[XylathaneGTR]

But i'm torn - they blend a mean raspberry peach brew. Really hits the spot.

[killramos]

Serious question, at what point is it no longer tea and is now just pop?

[XylathaneGTR]

No carbonation therefore not pop. Safe for 89coupe's kids to drink.

Edit: carbonation + pile of sugar/sweetener = pop. Carbonation alone - also not pop.

[vengie]

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No carbonation therefore not pop. Safe for 89coupe's kids to drink.

Edit: carbonation + pile of sugar/sweetener = pop. Carbonation alone - also not pop.

[suntan]

Get final bill from Virgin mobile. Can't pay bill because my account is closed. Thanks Virgin.

[The Cosworth]

A lot of my monthly bills are going to either automatic withdrawal or online bill payment (i.e. not taking credit card). Or if they are, are charging the transaction fee. Pretty sure Telus wasn't hurting because of the transaction fees but I get some C-Suite who thought it was a good idea and probably boasted it for their bonus last year.

I refuse to pay until close to though, which means I sit and wait for like 3 or 4 days wondering if I scheduled the bill payment through TD or if I forgot.

[vengie]

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Get final bill from Virgin mobile. Can't pay bill because my account is closed. Thanks Virgin.

Are they truly a Virgin when they continue to f*ck like a rabbit?

[schurchill39]

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The number of this exact email that I get for thirty-five different for-profit conferences all over the damned globe.

I presented at one of these back in like 2014 and every single year I get harassed to present again at "a discounted rate" despite EVERY YEAR TELLING THEM I AM NOT INTERESTED AND TAKE ME OFF THEIR GOD DAMN LIST!

[SKR]

I'll present for anyone who wants me to. I don't even care about the topic. But it's going to start with "Holy fuck boys, ..."

[ThePenIsMightier]

The glasses that the people in the Spec Savers commercials are wearing look like they pulled them out of the "used glasses donation bin" for Africa.
All of them.

I can't wait to not shop there.

[Tik-Tok]

I started my commute today thinking what a joy it is to have to wear sunglasses in the morning.

Then I approached Calf Robe bridge, where apparently no one in this city has learned of sunglasses, or sun visors, because everyone was slamming on their brakes as hard as they could as soon as the sun hit their faces. The rest of the commute was just as shitty after that for some reason.

[sabad66]

People who don’t know how to flush the damn toilet after taking a shit in the office bathroom.

You’d think an office full of “professionals” would have some common courtesy and decency to leave the toilet in decent shape for the next guy so that they don’t have to look at your disgusting diarrhea. Hell I even flush multiple times during the shit (to help with smell not lingering), and then a couple of courtesy flushes after I’m done. Do these people think they pay for the office water bill from their pay cheque or something? Some people are truly disgusting fucks.

[JRSC00LUDE]

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Hell I even flush multiple times during the shit (to help with smell not lingering), and then a couple of courtesy flushes after I’m done.

You need to see a doctor.

[XylathaneGTR]

Whenever I see a heavily streaked bowl, I wonder about the person who left that behind. Are they doing okay? There's gotta be something wrong there - like JRS said...somethin' ain't right.