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Thread: Buying toilet paper

  1. #1
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    Default Buying toilet paper

    There must be an app for this:

    The wife sends me shopping. On the list is toilet paper (tp, **** paper, arts degrees, shingles, etc.) So I head to the aisle where they have a plethora of choices. I always want to make sure I am getting the best deal on something. I check price per gram for dry goods, price per ml for liquids, etc. It has more to do with not wanting to be "scammed" by the marketing than anything else. So naturally I looked at TP the same way. What a mistake. I think you need a PHD in about nine disciplines to figure this out. First I just looked at the number of rolls. But then noticed that some rolls had more than others. So that was out. Then I thought number of squares. However, after some thought that didn't seem right. After all they could make 6 really big squares that would only last a day - wasting 99% of the material. Then I thought about total area. Take the number of squares, multiply by the area of each square and come up with a number. But then you are back to the how big a square is optimum problem. Then to make things even more complicated you have 2 ply, 3 ply and whatever other ply they can come up with. I think I stood staring at the row for 30 minutes before finally saying "F**k It - they win" Sigh.........am I the only one who has done this?

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    I usually go with the size of the pack that will fit on top of all my groceries without falling off the cart and im good to go...i mean...how much thought really needs to go into how much $$ you spend on paper you use to literally wipe shit...lol...

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    It's not the money, it's the damn marketing. You KNOW some team at Proctor & Gamble spent hours figuring out how to screw you over without you knowing it. I need to figure out how to beat them. LOL

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    Switch to cloth wipe?

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    Originally posted by soloracer
    It's not the money, it's the damn marketing. You KNOW some team at Proctor & Gamble spent hours figuring out how to screw you over without you knowing it. I need to figure out how to beat them. LOL
    You don't.

    Buy the shit paper and move on lol

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    Default Re: Rage! Build me an App!

    Originally posted by soloracer
    am I the only one who has done this?
    I hope so.
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    i tell my wife to buy it herself.
    User title molested by Rage2.

    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    It's not the size that matters, it's the taste it leaves in your mouth.

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    I say stupid shit all the time.
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    No logic, thought, input, etc from cult member...

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    just do price by weight, e-z

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    Originally posted by know1edge
    just do price by weight, e-z
    So you are OK with one 3 lb square of TP?

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    Originally posted by soloracer
    It's not the money, it's the damn marketing. You KNOW some team at Proctor & Gamble spent hours figuring out how to screw you over without you knowing it. I need to figure out how to beat them. LOL
    but in a way if you don't care you kinda end up winning anyways??



    since they spent alllll that money to figure out how to rip you off on paper you wipe your anus with and you just nonchalantly buy without any regard to price to weight to square to roll quantity.

    you just buy that tp with a smug look of satisfaction at not giving a shit how much it's costing you for shit rags

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    Rookies.

    Spend more money and buy baby wipes. Your asshole will thank you.
    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
    I have gone above and beyond what I should rightfully have to do to protect my good name

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    Kirkland toilet paper FTW
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    .
    Last edited by kaput; 03-12-2019 at 12:49 AM.

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    Some toilet paper are too soft and end up ripping as you're wiping your ass, no one wants shit covered fingers.

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    Originally posted by J.M.
    Some toilet paper are too soft and end up ripping as you're wiping your ass, no one wants shit covered fingers.
    Exactly. Almost like wiping with cotton balls. Not optimum.

    So all this brain power and nobody can come up with a formula?

    PS: Rage, baby wipes not good for the septic tank. But baller man......only thing better would be if you had a bathroom butler wipe for you.

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    Originally posted by schurchill39
    Kirkland toilet paper FTW

    That's what I be using. This feels better on my ass than the Scotts brand I got before.
    Originally posted by GTS Jeff
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    Well imagine if instead of writing that letter to the editor, she just posts on a car forum for car enthusiasts. That's Kritafo.

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    Originally posted by rage2
    Rookies.

    Spend more money and buy baby wipes. Your asshole will thank you.
    Kirkland TP and kandoos for the last 8 years.
    I even bring a ziplock with kandoos to work lol
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    Charmin. Only Charmin. When it goes on sale at Costco.

    Never break through that stuff. Also, it doesn't stick to your ass.

    Two wipes with that, finish off with baby wipe.

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    for Charmin at Costco. Get enough to put 4-6 rolls in each bathroom.

    Then forget about this stupid problem for 6-12 months depending on your TP usage ( or in my experience number of women in your house, i swear they spend their time trying to figure out how many sheets they can flush without clogging sometimes).

    Think about how much you get paid per hour. Multiply that by the number of hours in a year you worried about TP versus cost of TP mega pack. Realize you an idiot for even thinking about this. And just buy the first pack that doesn't look like paper towels when you need it.
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    guessing who I might be, psychologizing me with your non existent degree.

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    I don't do 3 ply as its too thick. I don't do extra comfy as its too much padding. I just buy Scotts when its on sale at Safeway for $5 for 24 rolls and buy 3 packages.

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