can you file a police report for an assault without pressing charges?

[msommers]

Originally posted by A790
Call the non-emergency and ask them. Don't give personal info, just ask for guidance.

I've done it before, and I'm sure I'll do it again. It's non-emergency for a reason.

Exactly.

403-266-1234

[lasimmon]

I'm guessing wife/girlfriend was the person moved and/or hurt, but doesn't want husband/boyfriend to get in trouble. Spikers and friends want it on record in case it happens again.

[Xtrema]

Originally posted by lasimmon
I'm guessing wife/girlfriend was the person moved and/or hurt, but doesn't want husband/boyfriend to get in trouble. Spikers and friends want it on record in case it happens again.

Sounds like it. Typical behavior of the abused.

[spikerS]

Originally posted by lasimmon
I'm guessing wife/girlfriend was the person moved and/or hurt, but doesn't want husband/boyfriend to get in trouble. Spikers and friends want it on record in case it happens again.

lol, I had to read that three times before I got the full meaning behind it.

NO, that isn't the case, but I will give a few more details so that speculation does not go rampant.

I am going through a divorce right now that has gone on entirely too long. My EX can be level headed at times, but is a very emotional person, and reacts with very strong emotions. Her intelligence level is not very high either. I am not putting her down saying this, but it is something I have learned over time. Because of this, her logic and actions are very much based in emotion rather than through reasoning.

Today, Baygirl had a "girls only" event planned, and so picked up my daughter from my EX. My daughter got in our truck, but my Ex opened the door that my daughter was leaning on which caused her to fall out onto the street and become injured.

Of course both my Ex and Baygirl rush to my daughter to make sure she is ok. My ex was there first obviously, and they are both trying to check her over, at which point my EX grabs a fistful of Baygirls' hair and yanks her backwards (while holding my daughter), and starts yelling and swearing. This happened twice. After the second time, my Ex took my daughter into their house.

It upset both of our kids greatly to the point they were in hysterics and tears.

I think it needs to be documented. If this happens again, we need to be able to show a pattern of this violence, and having official records is the best way to do that in my mind. We don't necessarily think charges are warranted, but we would like this on the record.

[D'z Nutz]

I read the first post and thought: I wonder what spikerS' ex has done now.

I'm glad we were not left hanging haha

You okay Baygirl?

[lasimmon]

So then report it and take the advice of the police then?

[baygirl]

Originally posted by D'z Nutz
I read the first post and thought: I wonder what spikerS' ex has done now.

I'm glad we were not left hanging haha

You okay Baygirl?

Pretty much. Shoulder is a little sore where she pushed me, but that could be beacuse I was tensed up making sure I didn't touch her(1. Both daughters were crying and I didn't want to escalate the situation 2. I am not stupid and wanted to be sure I didn't do anything that costs us time with daughter.)

[RealJimmyJames]

Sounds like this person is a danger to you and your family spike-man, and the situation is already quite acrimonious. I can't see a downside to filing a police report. they may choose not to pursue the charges.

[bjstare]

Originally posted by RealJimmyJames
Sounds like this person is a danger to you and your family spike-man, and the situation is already quite acrimonious. I can't see a downside to filing a police report. they may choose not to pursue the charges.

There is one very real, potentially nasty downside. Reporting/charges being filed may motivate spikers' crazy ass ex to drag out the divorce even longer in any way possible. I bet if the divorce was final, this would have played out a lot differently.

[FraserB]

Go down, fill out a statement. If they ask if you want to press charges, just say not at this time. But they might consider it a domestic incident and that might mean they have no choice but to arrest her and have the Crown file charges

[bjstare]

Originally posted by FraserB
Go down, fill out a statement. If they ask if you want to press charges, just say not at this time. But they might consider it a domestic incident and that might mean they have no choice but to arrest her and have the Crown file charges

Which reminds me of another risk - if you've got any history domestic incidents (regardless of your role), it can impact your ability to get a RPAL (if that matters to you).

[FraserB]

Originally posted by cjblair


Which reminds me of another risk - if you've got any history domestic incidents (regardless of your role), it can impact your ability to get a RPAL (if that matters to you).

As a bystander, it wouldn't affect Spikers. The only way it would is if his ex fed them a line of nonsense when they contact her as required upon renewal or application.

[Minimalist]

Let's change roles here for a different view. Had it been your Ex's new boyfriend who grabbed your hair, would the correct action be more obvious? You need to officially document the Ex and her violent, immature behaviour. I doubt it is the first time she has overreacted to a situation and I'll add one of her own doing. The girl needs councilling.

[baygirl]

Originally posted by Minimalist
Let's change roles here for a different view. Had it been your Ex's new boyfriend who grabbed your hair, would the correct action be more obvious? You need to officially document the Ex and her violent, immature behaviour. I doubt it is the first time she has overreacted to a situation and I'll add one of her own doing. The girl needs councilling.

You are right, it is not the first time. Everything has been documented, the only reason I was hesitating was because of the kids. I just wanted everything to go back to normal for their sake. However this is too much, esp since she was holding daughter at the time.

[spikerS]

Originally posted by Minimalist
Let's change roles here for a different view. Had it been your Ex's new boyfriend who grabbed your hair, would the correct action be more obvious? You need to officially document the Ex and her violent, immature behaviour. I doubt it is the first time she has overreacted to a situation and I'll add one of her own doing. The girl needs councilling.

If her fiancee tried that, I would be in jail, and chances are he would be being fed through a straw. (well, I would like to think that, but I am too chicken shit of getting a rap sheet that I probably wouldn't do anything. )

No, this isn't her first time. She has tried to get me charged with domestic abuse (thankfully after the police investigated, it was proven that she was lying). I have also had to have the police attend my house on more than one occasion to get her to leave (the last time it happened, it took 4 CPS officers to physically remove her). She has assaulted me in the past, but I never took it anywhere, but now that she has assaulted Baygirl, it's a whole new ball game, hence wanting to document the encounter officially.

Baygirl and I actually went down to the station to file a report, and we were promptly turned away. We were told we had to call the non-emerg line, and have an officer dispatched to our house....Seems like a waste of resources to me when there are 8 cops sitting there playing solitaire on their computers. So we went home, called the non-emerg line, and an officer came to the house. Baygirl gave them the story of what happened and backstory,


Officer asked if we wanted her charged, and we replied that we are under the impression that it is out of our hands. They replied that we have a say in it, but it is still up to the officer....We just said we want it documented as there has been issues in the past, and we need to show that violence will not be something we tolerate.

The officer then took down Baygirl's statement and has now left to go and speak with my Ex.

[Star1995]

I'd tell this Bay girl to not get between a mother and her daughter no matter what happens. Bay girl needs to know her role in the pecking order. I'd also throw in that it is very rude to send your girlfriend over to pick up your daughter from her mother. Maybe you don't understand how painful that can be for some people.

I can see why the divorce is taking so long. You need to show a little respect for your ex and her daughter.

I'm definitely not religious and 100% not Jewish but I do recommend you listen to Dr. Laura, she has lots to say to you about relationships. In case you don't know her Dr Laura is like the Donald Trump of relationships she'll tell you how it is...

[spikerS]

Originally posted by Star1995
I'd tell this Bay girl to not get between a mother and her daughter no matter what happens. Bay girl needs to know her role in the pecking order. I'd also throw in that it is very rude to send your girlfriend over to pick up your daughter from her mother. Maybe you don't understand how painful that can be for some people.

I can see why the divorce is taking so long. You need to show a little respect for your ex and her daughter.

[[Yu]]

Lol... I know this is a troll account but i'll bite.


Pecking order? Lol... it was the mom who dropped their own kid. So baygirl like any regular person is gonna check on the kid.

Man I don't even know why I typed that. I want to see star's response haha

[C_Dave45]

Originally posted by spikerS
ok, what I was trying to figure out is if it could be documented with the police without it going further, but it is the police that have the final say is what I am understanding.

Sorry if this was addressed after your post...(I just hit "reply" lol)..

I thought it was "out of their hands" if the assault was a domestic assault.

I got into a fight on the road one time, full on, middle of the road fist fight. Public broke it up, but called the cops. The cops came and got me at work, took me in, took a statement and asked if I wanted to press charges. I said "no", and the cop said "well neither does he"...and gave us both a warning.

OTOH, a close family member went to cops after her hubby choked her and threw her against the wall. The cop told her, they really had no choice but to go and arrest him. It wasn't her choice.

[JRSC00LUDE]

Is star your ex?