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Thread: Social Taboo - Regret having children

  1. #201
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    Originally posted by J-hop
    lol I wouldn't be too miffed about that. The kid conversations are so damn boring. First it starts off with how they are such a great kid. Then some discussion about how they kept them up the other night. Then the usual, they made their first steps/word/poo on the big potty etc etc. Then it progresses to a discussion about childcare or schools, potentially some complaining about the cost of child care. Discussing their rate of growth is a hot topic and how they keep outgrowing their clothes faster than they can buy them. Discussion of how much energy the kid has and how the parents have taken up midday naps during the weekend. Their next boring outing like going to the zoo, elbow falls, the reservoir or other stroller accessible walking path for the 30th time this year Etc etc etc.

    Haha I kid but seriously I've had almost exactly the same conversations to a T with different friends that are parents.


    I typically don't bring up kids with friends/couples that don't have kids, unless they bring it up. Typically, I just reminisce about old stories, although I am running out of old stories because I haven't made new ones in a while. So in essence, I'm just lame now, telling the same stories, and sound just like my dad.

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    Originally posted by rage2


    I typically don't bring up kids with friends/couples that don't have kids, unless they bring it up. Typically, I just reminisce about old stories, although I am running out of old stories because I haven't made new ones in a while. So in essence, I'm just lame now, telling the same stories, and sound just like my dad.

    Fuck, shoot me now.
    Reminds me of this (Starts @ 0.25):


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    Like a lot of people here I thought baby/toddler years were the hardest. However I find as the girls get older it gets harder emotionally(for them and me lol). There is more for me to worry about because of school, friends etc. And puberty:holy shit. It is like the toddler years all over again with unexplained tears and mood swings, except now they can talk back.
    Originally posted by rage2 in 2002
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    Originally posted by canadian_hustla
    and we are known as "cool couple" that always throws parties and let them take their kids. TBH, i wish they wouldn't (miss the good old days of drinking / shenanigans vs. Everyone leaving before sundown), however that is just a thing of the past and most wouldn't even show up if we put a restriction on kids.
    Originally posted by JordanEG6
    I also find myself in the complete outer circle of my friends and I seem to drift away further as time passes. Because parents hang out with other parents for the sake of the children.
    You guys are like the Mexico/Cuba/Dominican of social activities.

    Everyone likes an occasional albeit temporary time to let loose and get away from the daily routine/grind... but few people would actually consider it beneficial enough to be a permanent thing. Consider the "going to the dentist in Mexico" thread.
    Last edited by sputnik; 03-17-2017 at 11:17 AM.

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    Originally posted by baygirl
    It is like the toddler years all over again with unexplained tears and mood swings, except now they can talk back.
    See, I don't get this. It must be unique family to family, my sister and I, along with my parents, were never like this. Was there fighting?

    ABSOLUTELY. And more often than not, it was because of some zany or stupid rule that makes no sense (and to this day, even when looking back on those things, still make zero sense).

    And my parents were pretty reasonable, they basically let us do what we wanted as long as we were 1) Getting good grades 2) Taking care of our shit.

    But there was never random emotional angst that caused us to irrationally argue or fight about shit that made no sense. So I have a hard time understanding that.

    I personally feel that people try to explain kids shitty behaviour by this, when it truly is actually just shitty behaviour. #beatyourkidsforabetterfuture

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    Originally posted by sputnik

    You guys are like the Mexico/Cuba/Dominican of social activities.

    Everyone likes an occasional albeit temporary time to let loose and get away from the daily routine/grind... but few people would actually consider it beneficial enough to be a permanent thing. Consider the "going to the dentist in Mexico" thread.
    See that is the kind of eyeroll worthy response you get from most parents who think that their decision to have kids puts them on some kind of ivory tower of wholesome decision making.

    As if that one decision gives them the right to look down over everyone else who chooses different priorities in their lives.

    Personally, and its one of the big points that Seth was getting at before people were jumping down his throat, I think most people choose to have kids for less than idealistic reasons. Which is fine, but don't pretend you are somehow better than everyone around you for making that choice.
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    Originally posted by HiTempguy1


    See, I don't get this. It must be unique family to family, my sister and I, along with my parents, were never like this. Was there fighting?

    ABSOLUTELY. And more often than not, it was because of some zany or stupid rule that makes no sense (and to this day, even when looking back on those things, still make zero sense).

    And my parents were pretty reasonable, they basically let us do what we wanted as long as we were 1) Getting good grades 2) Taking care of our shit.

    But there was never random emotional angst that caused us to irrationally argue or fight about shit that made no sense. So I have a hard time understanding that.

    I personally feel that people try to explain kids shitty behaviour by this, when it truly is actually just shitty behaviour. #beatyourkidsforabetterfuture
    The biggest problem is mood swings and tears(keep in mind she is only 11 but has PMS). Here is an example:
    Me: Why are you crying?
    Her: The contestant on Deal or No Deal didn't take the deal.
    Me: Yes she did.
    Her: (still crying) WHY DID SHE TAKE THE DEAL?

    So by no means is it shitty behavior, it is just trying to get a handle on emotions and hormone changes, and the proper way to handle it. damn it, I wonder if boys are easier??
    Originally posted by rage2 in 2002
    Shit, there's only 49 users here, I doubt we'll even break 100.

  9. #209
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    Originally posted by killramos


    See that is the kind of eyeroll worthy response you get from most parents who think that their decision to have kids puts them on some kind of ivory tower of wholesome decision making.

    As if that one decision gives them the right to look down over everyone else who chooses different priorities in their lives.

    Personally, and its one of the big points that Seth was getting at before people were jumping down his throat, I think most people choose to have kids for less than idealistic reasons. Which is fine, but don't pretend you are somehow better than everyone around you for making that choice.
    At the end of the day. People with kids would rather deal with raising kids than consider the thought of being completely alone as they older and their other childless friends start dying or moving far away.

    People without kids are currently banking on the hope that their money, career and friendships with other DINKS will still be around until they die to cover the fact that they have no immediate family when they are older.

  10. #210
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    Originally posted by sputnik


    At the end of the day. People with kids would rather deal with raising kids than consider the thought of being completely alone as they older and their other childless friends start dying or moving far away.

    People without kids are currently banking on the hope that their money, career and friendships with other DINKS will still be around until they die to cover the fact that they have no immediate family when they are older.
    what you're saying only applies to be people with very sad depressing lives, trying to fix that by having kids is a horrible bandaid fix

  11. #211
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    Lol as if having kids somehow guarantees you prevention from growing up old and lonely.

    Turn 65 they apply for power of attorney, take your money, stick you in a home, and come visit you on Christmas and your birthday.

    The only thing you are truly guaranteed to be to them is a burden one day or the next. A burden they will put up with to make sure they are still written in the will.
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

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  12. #212
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    Originally posted by killramos
    Lol as if having kids somehow guarantees you prevention from growing up old and lonely.

    Turn 65 they apply for power of attorney, take your money, stick you in a home, and come visit you on Christmas and your birthday.

    The only thing you are truly guaranteed to be to them is a burden one day or the next. A burden they will put up with to make sure they are still written in the will.
    Oh man, this post is platinum.

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    Related: Someone shared this on FB today.


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    Originally posted by sputnik

    People without kids are currently banking on the hope that their money, career and friendships with other DINKS will still be around until they die to cover the fact that they have no immediate family when they are older.
    That's pretty presumptuous. You make it sound like DINKS are getting left behind watching the world pass them by because having children is the only worth while thing to do and none of them can move on.

    I'm not banking on anything. You think most of us sit around waiting for that phone call? Life goes on. MY GF and I made other friends and do other things with our time. Having children isn't a measurement of quality of life or happiness. Money, career and friendships in relation to being single are not mutually exclusive. People, with or without children focus on those things every day, but for different reasons. Thinking about other families with children doesn't occupy my daily routine and nor am I depressed about it. I'm simply telling it like it is.

    Have you been to a nursing home? Most of the elderly that occupy that home have children and guess what? No one visits them and they die alone anyway. I could swing the other way and say to you that people with children bank on the hope that someone will take care of all their needs when they get older. But in many cases, that's false.
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    Originally posted by killramos
    Lol as if having kids somehow guarantees you prevention from growing up old and lonely.

    Turn 65 they apply for power of attorney, take your money, stick you in a home, and come visit you on Christmas and your birthday.

    The only thing you are truly guaranteed to be to them is a burden one day or the next. A burden they will put up with to make sure they are still written in the will.
    haha yes.

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    ...
    Last edited by Sugarphreak; 08-17-2019 at 04:57 PM.

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    Originally posted by Sugarphreak


    Yeah I would agree with this. Most of the people in old homes have kids that put them there, with a very high number doing so either so they can directly could take their money, or stop them from spending it.


    At 65?!
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    People who can only afford to have an ordinary kid should not have one. People who want a kid and can afford to have a very sick kid, one with special needs, or twins should have a kid. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

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    Those that thought about having kids and chose to do so, claim the reason has something to do with enriching their life. (selfishness?)

    Those that thought about having kids and chose not to, claim the reason has something to do with not wanting to fuck up their life (selfishness?)

    Either way, like any emotional response it's not good or bad, but rather, subjective. Well, one could even argue that logic is subjective aside from mathematics.

    Then there are those that choose not to have kids because they think society is going to shit.

    Then there are those that choose not to have kids because they think our essence isn't corporeal and something happened that made us non-corporeal.

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    Originally posted by killramos
    Lol as if having kids somehow guarantees you prevention from growing up old and lonely.

    Turn 65 they apply for power of attorney, take your money, stick you in a home, and come visit you on Christmas and your birthday.

    The only thing you are truly guaranteed to be to them is a burden one day or the next. A burden they will put up with to make sure they are still written in the will.
    I must be doing it wrong as my parents both turn 82 this year and are still living on their own in their home.

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