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    Default Pursuit of happiness

    I don't know what it is but as I get older I start to question different aspects of life. For example, marriage...Everyone seems to be getting married because of the following reasons: 1. Dating the person forever so it only makes sense, 2. Arranged marriages, 3. For purposes of money benefit etc. Almost everyone I know that has been married have cheated with people because their relationship has dulled out. It almost seems like finding your true soulmate doesn't exist anymore or its very rare.

    Careers - I've been in the same industry (oil and gas) since graduating university. Lately I've been itching to make a career change and move to a completely different city/country but I don't have the balls to just go ahead and do it. I have been looking for other jobs and no bites but I think if I came across a good offer I would go for it. Has anyone on here ever just took the plunge into living in another country. What are good cities with decent economies?

    Perhaps life is just getting boring , waking up and doing the same thing everyday and its weighing on my shoulders. Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone else in the same boat?

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    With the job, don't make a change just for the sake of change. If your job isn't fulfilling, don't assume that's a deal-breaker. Most people find fulfillment outside of work and honestly just make the best of it during working hours. That being said, if you have an opportunity or an idea for something you really want to do, don't be scared to jump into it. But yeah, don't switch jobs just because your current one is getting a little stale.
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    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jabjab View Post
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    I don't know what it is but as I get older I start to question different aspects of life. For example, marriage...Everyone seems to be getting married because of the following reasons: 1. Dating the person forever so it only makes sense, 2. Arranged marriages, 3. For purposes of money benefit etc. Almost everyone I know that has been married have cheated with people because their relationship has dulled out. It almost seems like finding your true soulmate doesn't exist anymore or its very rare.

    Careers - I've been in the same industry (oil and gas) since graduating university. Lately I've been itching to make a career change and move to a completely different city/country but I don't have the balls to just go ahead and do it. I have been looking for other jobs and no bites but I think if I came across a good offer I would go for it. Has anyone on here ever just took the plunge into living in another country. What are good cities with decent economies?

    Perhaps life is just getting boring , waking up and doing the same thing everyday and its weighing on my shoulders. Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone else in the same boat?

    I have a number of friends who have done it.

    One moved from Calgary to San Francisco, got a job with Adobe.

    Another friend left Calgary and moved to London, works for Google.

    Another left Calgary and moved to Japan, became an English teacher.

    If you don't have children and are not married, I say go for it, you only have one life, might as well take the plunge, Calgary isn't exactly an amazing place if you aren't tied down to it, go for it.

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    What's making you pursue going to a different career?

    Is it because you're bored? Is it because you're not challenged enough? You can fix that easily by talking to your manager and asking to be a part of more complex projects.

    Living in another country? Do you like to travel? Explore? Why don't you just take vacation days?

    There's nothing wrong with moving industries, but ExtraSlow said it best.

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    Quote Originally Posted by flipstah View Post
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    What's making you pursue going to a different career?

    Is it because you're bored? Is it because you're not challenged enough? You can fix that easily by talking to your manager and asking to be a part of more complex projects.

    Living in another country? Do you like to travel? Explore? Why don't you just take vacation days?

    There's nothing wrong with moving industries, but ExtraSlow said it best.
    I think its a mix of being bored and not challenged enough. I have talked with my managers about my career development but there isn't much out there for open position in my company. I do love to travel and see how other people live their lives. Perhaps I should travel more and see if my feeling of living somewhere else leaves or keeps coming back.

    In the back of mind I'm thinking there is a lifestyle out there that I haven't even thought about that could be very fulfilling..

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    Don't worry, a lot of people are in the same boat as you. Some just put in more effort into the transition if they are actually serious about it. You find in life a lot of people are flakers. They say they wanna do something, but even they know they're not going to do it.

    This works to your advantage. As mentioned by 89coupe, if you're not tied down, put in some effort, and do it!

    For me, I'd love to win the lotto and start a small food business where I know I'm set for life financially. Keep myself busy enough to be fulfilled, but lots of chill time to relax and enjoy good company.
    But knowing that is not an ideal goal to win the lotto, I started to learn a lot of commodity trading as a side thing while I still have a full time job. Hopefully one day I build my portfolio large enough to be "professionally retired".
    Last edited by Disoblige; 07-27-2017 at 02:58 PM.

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    Led by Edmonton, Alberta, singer and songwriter Moe Berg, The Pursuit of Happiness were launched in 1985 when he and drummer Dave Gilby moved to Toronto, Ontario. They soon met bassist Johnny Sinclair and formed the band, adding sisters Tamara and Natasha Amabile as backing vocalists. Their debut single, "I'm an Adult Now", quickly became a smash hit across Canada in 1986, sparked by a low-budget video which made it onto the Canadian music video channel MuchMusic.

    The band signed with manager Jeff Rogers (Swell) in 1986. The band did not immediately sign to a record label, but instead released another independent single, "Killed by Love", in 1988. The Amabile sisters left the band that year, and were replaced by Kris Abbott (guitar and backing vocals) and Leslie Stanwyck (backing vocals).
    Originally posted by SJW
    Once again another useless post by JRSCOOLDUDE.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabjab View Post
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    I think its a mix of being bored and not challenged enough. I have talked with my managers about my career development but there isn't much out there for open position in my company. I do love to travel and see how other people live their lives. Perhaps I should travel more and see if my feeling of living somewhere else leaves or keeps coming back.

    In the back of mind I'm thinking there is a lifestyle out there that I haven't even thought about that could be very fulfilling..
    Travel and explore. Like you said, there might be a lifestyle that you haven't thought about.

    Everyone has a dream like Disoblige. It's all about what you make of it.

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    I'm pretty sure the issues you listed are all due to social media / tech and the fact that everyone is showing off how their life is better than yours because ___ and then you end up wanting that.

    re: work. I don't have the balls to get out of what I'm doing because:
    -I've put myself into a financial pit w/ the desire to own a home because society tells me that's what I need to do; work pays the bills I need
    -I don't loathe what I'm doing. I agree that it's mentally tiring.
    -I'm comfortable where I am
    -As much as I like the idea of change, it scares the crap out of me.

    To fight the mentally tiring thing, I've been doing a lot of volunteering w/ Habitat for Humanity lately. Benefits I found:
    -Learning skills I think are good to have as a homeowner
    -Totally different work from what I do day to day
    -Totally different people I get to associate with
    -Different in that I go home physically exhausted rather than mentally exhausted; can't take work home with me if I'm not responsible for showing up and finishing it the next day
    -I get to tote the fact that I'm volunteering while you're not :P

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    Quote Originally Posted by jwslam View Post
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    I'm pretty sure the issues you listed are all due to social media / tech and the fact that everyone is showing off how their life is better than yours because ___ and then you end up wanting that.
    Don't get me wrong, when I say better lifestyle I'm actually thinking of a simpler one. One where there isn't people trying to one up each other and fake conversations about how much someone is worth etc.

    I've started the search for jobs all over world but unfortunately only applied to ones in Canada and can imagine that finding employment in the united states would be harder being a Canadian citizen. I'm not the type to just quit my job and sell everything as i do have responsibilities here so I would prefer to land something first.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jabjab View Post
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    Don't get me wrong, when I say better lifestyle I'm actually thinking of a simpler one. One where there isn't people trying to one up each other and fake conversations about how much someone is worth etc.
    I think you just need to find new friends. And stop listening to rap music haha.
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    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill

    "The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.[1] According to this theory, as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness. Brickman and Campbell coined the term in their essay "Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society" (1971).[2] During the late 1990s, the concept was modified by Michael Eysenck, a British psychologist, to become the current "hedonic treadmill theory" which compares the pursuit of happiness to a person on a treadmill, who has to keep walking just to stay in the same place.[citation needed] The concept dates back centuries, to such writers as St. Augustine, cited in Robert Burton's 1621 Anatomy of Melancholy: "A true saying it is, Desire hath no rest, is infinite in itself, endless, and as one calls it, a perpetual rack, or horse-mill."[improper synthesis?]

    The hedonic (or happiness) set point has gained interest throughout the field of positive psychology where it has been developed and revised further.[3] Given that hedonic adaptation generally demonstrates that a person's long-term happiness is not significantly affected by otherwise impacting events, positive psychology has concerned itself with the discovery of things that can lead to lasting changes in happiness levels."

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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I think you just need to find new friends. And stop listening to rap music haha.
    Truth

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    Quote Originally Posted by jwslam View Post
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    I'm pretty sure the issues you listed are all due to social media / tech and the fact that everyone is showing off how their life is better than yours because ___ and then you end up wanting that
    This is an excellent point.

    Another is to consider your close social circle. Do you actually enjoy these peoples' company? Do you they make you a better person or what you perceive as better? From personal experience, I have found I need to surround myself with people who are actually dependable, driven, generally positive and really do make you feel better when you feel like shit. A strong network is a beautiful thing.

    Also consider your relationship, if you have one and how it's going, if it's adding a lot of stress in your life. If you don't have a relationship, do you want one? Why or why not? Relationships on social media are another load of crap. Everyone sees when they're happy but no one knows that only occurs 10% of the time and the other 90% they really do hate each other. Instagram, Facebook etc are perfect examples of this with pretend candid shots of some girl or guy who has actually spent hours getting ready to just take a photo for Instagram. Society gets the impression that life really is "just that easy." Relationships take work, I mean real work. Ask couples that have been together for decades.

    In the end I think it's much easier to think, "If I just did this" or "If I just had this" then my life would all the sudden shape up beautifully. Unfortunately there is commonly something much more fundamental that is not being addressed that has led you to this point. Figuring this out takes a lot of thought and speaking with someone professionally can really help expedite the process.

    I haven't talked about work, or travelling, or moving to Europe (or wherever) because that might not actually be the issue that is making you feel this way. But perhaps moving and starting a different job would kick-start things and life would be fun again for you. What would that look like a month from now? 1 year? 5 years?

    And a left-field suggestion: have you considered volunteering somewhere?

    Bottom line: once you start comparing your life to someone else's, it's time to really reflect. This is your one life to live and you need to be making the decisions for yourself to live it as best as you see fit.
    Ultracrepidarian

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    Have a real talk or life lesson chill out with some good friends. When I say good friends, I'm talking about the people who support you but won't bullshit you.

    Life can get boring. You wake up, you go to work, you make some money, you spend some money, rinse and repeat. Mix it up with some travel, join some sports teams, get out and have fun.

    Good luck. Don't be too hard on yourself. We tend to be our own worst enemy and there's no reason for that.

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    So far as careers go, yep, they get boring. I'm bored as fuck after being at the same company for over 15 years, but it's stable and pays in the higher range for Calgary in my field, so I stay put. I could be making twice as much in the US, but the more I visit it, the more fucked up I think America is socially, politically, and economicaly.

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    It almost seems like finding your true soulmate doesn't exist anymore or its very rare.
    It isn't that rare, but even the best relationships take effort. Every spouse I know who has cheated, it's because (IMO) they never really wanted to be in a marriage to begin with. They wanted to be "single with a spouse". As in, they don't want to change one tiny but, and with no compromise at all.

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    No such thing as a happiness that is constant. Happiness is a feeling, it comes and goes. To pursue it is a fruitless endeavor.

    Do what makes you feel good. I feel good being productive. Some people feel good slinging shit at a wall and calling it art.

    There is something to be said for having a nice stable job. It has allowed me to successfully springboard into other, more fulfilling areas of life. End of the day, money makes the world go round, it is important to have cash.

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    Happiness is a process and not a destination.
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    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

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    Quote Originally Posted by JRSC00LUDE View Post
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    Led by Edmonton, Alberta, singer and songwriter Moe Berg, The Pursuit of Happiness were launched in 1985 when he and drummer Dave Gilby moved to Toronto, Ontario. They soon met bassist Johnny Sinclair and formed the band, adding sisters Tamara and Natasha Amabile as backing vocalists. Their debut single, "I'm an Adult Now", quickly became a smash hit across Canada in 1986, sparked by a low-budget video which made it onto the Canadian music video channel MuchMusic.

    The band signed with manager Jeff Rogers (Swell) in 1986. The band did not immediately sign to a record label, but instead released another independent single, "Killed by Love", in 1988. The Amabile sisters left the band that year, and were replaced by Kris Abbott (guitar and backing vocals) and Leslie Stanwyck (backing vocals).
    Nobody else seems to admire your effort, but I do.
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