Originally Posted by
project240
My girlfriend has an ex (from several years ago) who continues to text her several times per week, mostly sexually related stuff. "We should have sex one more time", "I miss You, we should get together", does your boyfriend go down on You, how is it...
Stupid shit like that. She never initiates the conversation, but does usually reply with very generic, low detail responses.
It bothers me because I don't think that's right, but she says she has always done that and I should just accept it. We have a very happy relationship and even if we weren't together she wouldn't pursue anything with him, but feels like her replying is enough for him to continue to try and gives him false hope.
Am I just being a idiot and shouldn't give a shit or are my concerns justified. I have talked to her about it, but it doesn't go anywhere. She says I am being jealous and controlling by telling her to stop.
Thoughts?
Dude, you have a problem... Not with her ex, but with her...
She's instigating and promoting this behaviour with her responses. Unless she has some type of attachment with work or something to her ex (where she HAS to be polite and respond), there's no need for her to respond to promote the behaviour other than for enjoyment, or she likes the attention.
With that being said, this shows a huge personality trait of hers, that you need to consider before you put more effort in to the relationship. This trait (and everything it's capable of allowing her to do), will be there forever.
You've mentioned it bothers you, but it sounds like she is persisting. So who else talks to her, and who else does she engage with?
You could try and tell her to stop and force her (which I completely disagree with as you should never try to force someone to do something they don't want to do), but at the same, do you want to have to tell you girlfriend to stop that kind of stuff?
If anything, looking at this from a 3rd person PoV, it sounds like shes capable of (or is) cheating emotionally or physically, the potential thereof, and trying to keep her options open.
I find this type of behaviour and trait very common in Calgary. I don't know if it's due to the female-to-male ratio, the attention that women get here, etc... But it's a BAD sign!
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