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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by seth1968 View Post
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    op:

    Ask her to sign up with beyond and reply.
    this

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    3rd one down in the "red flags". Even imgur says wtf haha.

    https://imgur.com/gallery/KwPTM
    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    Arash reminds me of Mar but I can't tell which one is more stupid.
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    Yeah well I wonder how they get the soft flowing caramel inside the Caramilk bar but you don't see me making a god damn thread about it. Slap your wife Baygirl, straighten him out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by revelations View Post
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    Wait, what? Youre 35? This is something I went through in my 20s with women.

    I would have hoped that, either shes really young or that you are young. At 35 all this should be common knowledge in the relationship world.
    Wait, what? You're over 29 years old and can't spell? This is something I went through when I was 12... I guess people learn different things at different ages, he's learning about relationships and you're learning about spelling and how to sound like an ass on the Internet. At over 29 years old spelling should be common knowledge, I guess you were in too big of a rush to point out the OP isn't as smart as you when it come to relationships...

  4. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by Star1995 View Post
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    Wait, what? You're over 29 years old and can't spell? This is something I went through when I was 12... I guess people learn different things at different ages, he's learning about relationships and you're learning about spelling and how to sound like an ass on the Internet. At over 29 years old spelling should be common knowledge, I guess you were in too big of a rush to point out the OP isn't as smart as you when it come to relationships...
    Good post sir.

    If there is something I have discovered is you don't know it all and never will so best not to talk down on others.

    Anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seth1968 View Post
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    There is no such thing as "the right one", as you'll get bored with said right one and then claim that it's not the right one.

    The whole problem, is yet again, the followers of an invisible man and a book written by people who believed that goats blood will cure leprosy and killing babies as adorned by God is all well and good. They started the whole idiotic concept of marriage and the disastrous results continue to this day.
    lol not sure I understand this post but I sorta agree haha

  5. #125
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    Thats quite the thread. Hate to say it, but if either you or her work away from home for any periods of time I'd bet a set of white walls shes already had someone else inside her. Zero excuse for that behavior in a long term committed relationship especially at your ages (assuming shes close to you), ZERO. Not sure how you two met (often the circumstances of how one meets their partner can indicate this type of behavior, especially if it was through online dating shit where they get so used to the constant attention and showers of praise because some dog wants to get his cock washed, or what you both do for work (working partnered in high stress environments can lead to attachments), but in my experience, this has a result of you two remaining together after marriage of about 5% and even then there will be distrust and speculation. First couple months I can see it, still testing the waters, keeping options open, I get it, but not after several years.

    I cant imagine she would embrace hot ex gf's texting you to tongue punch their dirt star, and have one last romp would she? I imagine it would play out extremely hypocritical.

    Hate to play the fiddle of negativity, but I wouldn't cosign, go in on, or make any joint financial or child commitments with this woman ANY time soon (see: Never). Because even if she takes the long dick of the ex, she still takes half your shit, and that a likely probability that she'll be entered by more than just you if this behavior is still prevalent.. Save your money man and have a private account. Like the brass on the titanic man this looks like an iceberg just waiting to collide. I dont care if she says its done. 99 times out of a hundred it just goes covert.

    Sorry I dont have more positive juju for ya bro. If it works out you're an extremely rare phenomenon.


  6. #126
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    Everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance.

    However, I do feel the sentiments of most of the posts in this thread.

    Will she change?

    Or, now that she knows this problem is on your radar, will she just continue covertly ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
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    Thats quite the thread. Hate to say it, but if either you or her work away from home for any periods of time I'd bet a set of white walls shes already had someone else inside her. Zero excuse for that behavior in a long term committed relationship especially at your ages (assuming shes close to you), ZERO. Not sure how you two met (often the circumstances of how one meets their partner can indicate this type of behavior, especially if it was through online dating shit where they get so used to the constant attention and showers of praise because some dog wants to get his cock washed, or what you both do for work (working partnered in high stress environments can lead to attachments), but in my experience, this has a result of you two remaining together after marriage of about 5% and even then there will be distrust and speculation. First couple months I can see it, still testing the waters, keeping options open, I get it, but not after several years.

    I cant imagine she would embrace hot ex gf's texting you to tongue punch their dirt star, and have one last romp would she? I imagine it would play out extremely hypocritical.

    Hate to play the fiddle of negativity, but I wouldn't cosign, go in on, or make any joint financial or child commitments with this woman ANY time soon (see: Never). Because even if she takes the long dick of the ex, she still takes half your shit, and that a likely probability that she'll be entered by more than just you if this behavior is still prevalent.. Save your money man and have a private account. Like the brass on the titanic man this looks like an iceberg just waiting to collide. I dont care if she says its done. 99 times out of a hundred it just goes covert.

    Sorry I dont have more positive juju for ya bro. If it works out you're an extremely rare phenomenon.
    We need a like button, so I can like the shit out of this post...
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    A superlike!
    Double-meat sub dreams.
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    Quote Originally Posted by freshprince1 View Post
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    I'm glad this is such a safe space full of support and encouragement.

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    The only thing I can think of is that she is a bangin' 10/10 and OP does not think he can do better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
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    Zero excuse for that behavior in a long term committed relationship especially at your ages (assuming shes close to you), ZERO.
    Thats what I was getting at too. I wasn’t trying to be an ass - more along the lines of "thats at an early 20s level of behaviour" and out of norm for people in their mid 30s.

    I went through something similar in my 20s and I found that trying to build trust with someone by checking on them (and their phone) all the time, does not end up building trust.

    The best tool I found was intuition. After going through 16 girlfriends (from ages 20-36), I got to the point where could tell after 5-10 minutes of observing/listening to women on dates if she was legit/long-term.
    Last edited by revelations; 10-09-2017 at 06:56 PM.

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    I'm pretty sure no matter how you look at it, this girl has some issues. It could be as simple as her having a complex of needing to feel wanted, all the way to something more sinister.

    ...but I can appreciate him not wanting to end it. We all want to see the good in people; especially people we care about, and after investing your time in someone it's pretty hard to just up and walk away if there is any chance of it working out. He believes she is sincere and to be fair he's the one in the best position to get a read on whether she is being legit or not.

    So I'll just say this. OP: I truly wish you the very best with your gf and hope you two work out. I believe that trust is an absolute must for any relationship to be successful, so I think you are best served putting this behind you and jumping in with both feet since it seems that is the direction you have chosen. However, you can see from the responses on here that we all feel this was a huge red flag, so I would advise you to trust your gut moving forward. If things seem "wrong", I don't think anybody here would be surprised to find out that they really are.

    Good luck.

    Quote Originally Posted by jaylo View Post
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    The only thing I can think of is that she is a bangin' 10/10 and OP does not think he can do better.
    That's what pretty much kept me with my aforementioned ex. She looked like a model with ridiculously perfect tits and banged like a whore (a first for me; I didn't mind) and I was this scrawny 160 pound, average-looking dude, and I knew it. Turns out that as great as it is to have a hot girlfriend, in retrospect I wish I realized it should have been a 3-week relationship as opposed to the 3-year one it turned out to be. The inevitable drama just wasn't worth it, and I fear 240 has just experienced the tip of that iceberg.
    Last edited by Kloubek; 10-10-2017 at 11:07 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TomcoPDR View Post
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    And you're positive the Ex's daughter isn't yours right?
    Made that joke too but then she factored the math into play considering our kids our months apart and that would mean that I would have had to be shagging both of them at the same time. In another time, this might have been the case but I'm a bit older and a bit...older. I got nothing after that!
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    Quote Originally Posted by revelations View Post
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    Wait, what? Youre 35? This is something I went through in my 20s with women.

    I would have hoped that, either shes really young or that you are young. At 35 all this should be common knowledge in the relationship world.

    I thought about this too but we have to remember that everyone has different experiences at different ages. You might have had your first "real" relationship at 18 and someone else might have not had one until he was 28. On top of that, maturity will also factor into it. If the first time you were hurt by a girl was at 30, and someone else at 16, I'm certain that the feelings would be quite similar.

    Not to say that the OP did not get much ass growing up but maybe this is the first time he has experienced this sort of issue and it's new to him. Like for some people on this board, when is the first time you got touched by your uncle? For some, it might have been at a much younger age than others!
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    Quote Originally Posted by LUDELVR View Post
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    I thought about this too but we have to remember that everyone has different experiences at different ages. You might have had your first "real" relationship at 18 and someone else might have not had one until he was 28. On top of that, maturity will also factor into it. If the first time you were hurt by a girl was at 30, and someone else at 16, I'm certain that the feelings would be quite similar.

    Not to say that the OP did not get much ass growing up but maybe this is the first time he has experienced this sort of issue and it's new to him. Like for some people on this board, when is the first time you got touched by your uncle? For some, it might have been at a much younger age than others!
    Lets look back at that specific concern:

    My girlfriend has an ex (from several years ago) who continues to text her several times per week, mostly sexually related stuff. "We should have sex one more time"
    If it was occasional texting from the ex, "I miss you" or "I made a mistake" for eg, that lasted a few MONTHS, and she sent back generic responses, then - even at a 30s age level - I could see that being no too far out of the ordinary.

    However this has been going on MULTIPLE TIMES WEEKLY, for SEVERAL YEARS, is SEXUAL and shes RESPONDING to it (instead of ignoring/blocking).

    See the difference? She needs to be out the door so fast that the door doesn't even a chance to hit her on the way out.
    Last edited by revelations; 10-10-2017 at 11:36 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LUDELVR View Post
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    I thought about this too but we have to remember that everyone has different experiences at different ages. You might have had your first "real" relationship at 18 and someone else might have not had one until he was 28. On top of that, maturity will also factor into it. If the first time you were hurt by a girl was at 30, and someone else at 16, I'm certain that the feelings would be quite similar.

    Not to say that the OP did not get much ass growing up but maybe this is the first time he has experienced this sort of issue and it's new to him. Like for some people on this board, when is the first time you got touched by your uncle? For some, it might have been at a much younger age than others!
    We need you to be active and bring back Ask Leo and answer anonymous members questions!

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    Quote Originally Posted by revelations View Post
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    Lets look back at that specific concern:



    If it was occasional texting from the ex, "I miss you" or "I made a mistake" for eg, that lasted a few MONTHS, and she sent back generic responses, then - even at a 30s age level - I could see that being no too far out of the ordinary.

    However this has been going on MULTIPLE TIMES WEEKLY, for SEVERAL YEARS, is SEXUAL and shes RESPONDING to it (instead of ignoring/blocking).

    See the difference? She needs to be out the door so fast that the door doesn't even a chance to hit her on the way out.

    Yeah, I guess I'm just looking to give him the benefit of the doubt but can see what you're saying. I always hope that people are good but deep down, there's so much more going on.
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    I can't help but laugh at LUDELVR dishing out relationship advice with the user title that he earned.
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    Quote Originally Posted by max_boost View Post
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    Can't disagree but sometimes you gotta get owned before you learn
    Agreed! We've all had friends or family members in vile relationships but no matter what you say or do they dont listen or see it until they get burnt. OP isnt leaving but the good is people make mistakes and some can change from it

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    I can't believe this is still going, the horse is already dead hahaha.

    Updates please OP!!!
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    Arash reminds me of Mar but I can't tell which one is more stupid.
    Quote Originally Posted by JRSC00LUDE View Post
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    Yeah well I wonder how they get the soft flowing caramel inside the Caramilk bar but you don't see me making a god damn thread about it. Slap your wife Baygirl, straighten him out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I can't help but laugh at LUDELVR dishing out relationship advice with the user title that he earned.
    I know man. It's odd what age will do to your priorities and it's even odder to have so much to pass down to a kid but won't because of that. Talking with the Mrs and when I kept saying, "there's so much I can teach our kid!" and her response..."Do you want him to be like you?" Enough said. That saying comes to mind, "if you had a daughter and she brought a guy like you home, how would you feel?" Me 10 years ago, I'd shoot the little asshole. Me now...I'd get to know him a bit then shoot the little asshole!


    Quote Originally Posted by max_boost View Post
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    We need you to be active and bring back Ask Leo and answer anonymous members questions!
    Too many kids floating around nowadays who are probably in the classes I teach but yeah, it would need to be anonymous. I have too much to say but not in public anymore!
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