Ok, sorry gonna be a downer thread.
Some of you know my last 15 months have been a major struggle. 9 days is the longest we had managed without a major crisis. (And I don't exaggerate that, minorest being hospitalizations, new diagnosis, deaths, job losses, eviction, having to beg/borrow/etc rent). Last 2 years really, but it's been the last 15 months that really got crazy.
Been hospitalized 3x for a major depressive episode in the last month. Problems are compounding further and further - every time I think I've made progress - something comes along and boots me in the head - sets me back farther. Had court today, got 500$ in tickets for unregistered vehicle / improper use of plate / incorrect address on lic/reg - on my way - because I still dont have paperwork for the September court order for the 90 day stay of enforcement, or the ex saying not loco parentis for her daughter... So I shouldn't be paying a dime, but - still registry privledges suspended until the court order comes, doesn't matter to MEP that they've seen the transcripts - they work on orders. Judge is away on holidays, case management so only that judge can deal with things.
Been working on CBT - trying these radical acceptance techniques... But how the fuck are you supposed to keep positive when the world keeps kicking you farther down?
Spent the afternoon in the woods home Eastside emergency counselling clinic. Because my tempers getting farther and farther out of control. 2 hours and they suggested I "start thinking about ways to look better to the courts and your partner" - how the fuck does that help me keep my emotions and anger under control??? I don't even get what the hell the point was of going there for that kind of useless help.
Anyone have some ideas that work? I'm pretty much at the breaking point, the pros are useless. Go back to the hospital and I'm back under CFS investigations because it's wrong to get help in our system. I'm on enough meds to kill a horse lately - and I don't think they're doing fuck all (225mg effexor, 10mg buspirone, Seroquel and a blood pressure medication at night for ptsd like nightmares).