Depression - how to kick it?

[AndyL]

Ok, sorry gonna be a downer thread.

Some of you know my last 15 months have been a major struggle. 9 days is the longest we had managed without a major crisis. (And I don't exaggerate that, minorest being hospitalizations, new diagnosis, deaths, job losses, eviction, having to beg/borrow/etc rent). Last 2 years really, but it's been the last 15 months that really got crazy.

Been hospitalized 3x for a major depressive episode in the last month. Problems are compounding further and further - every time I think I've made progress - something comes along and boots me in the head - sets me back farther. Had court today, got 500$ in tickets for unregistered vehicle / improper use of plate / incorrect address on lic/reg - on my way - because I still dont have paperwork for the September court order for the 90 day stay of enforcement, or the ex saying not loco parentis for her daughter... So I shouldn't be paying a dime, but - still registry privledges suspended until the court order comes, doesn't matter to MEP that they've seen the transcripts - they work on orders. Judge is away on holidays, case management so only that judge can deal with things.

Been working on CBT - trying these radical acceptance techniques... But how the fuck are you supposed to keep positive when the world keeps kicking you farther down?

Spent the afternoon in the woods home Eastside emergency counselling clinic. Because my tempers getting farther and farther out of control. 2 hours and they suggested I "start thinking about ways to look better to the courts and your partner" - how the fuck does that help me keep my emotions and anger under control??? I don't even get what the hell the point was of going there for that kind of useless help.

Anyone have some ideas that work? I'm pretty much at the breaking point, the pros are useless. Go back to the hospital and I'm back under CFS investigations because it's wrong to get help in our system. I'm on enough meds to kill a horse lately - and I don't think they're doing fuck all (225mg effexor, 10mg buspirone, Seroquel and a blood pressure medication at night for ptsd like nightmares).

[ExtraSlow]

I don't have your depth of experience with this but I found one thing that helps a tiny bit is to pick something you CAN control every day and take charge of that. Something small. Then make sure that no matter how bad your day is you can take care of that one small thing and say to yourself that yes, you achieved a goal today.

The world needs you buddy. It's not easy, it's not fair, and I don't know the way out, but please don't give up on yourself.

If you want to chat over a coffee or beer or go for a walk or something, I'm game.

[msommers]

Hey Andy, sorry to hear you've been having such a struggle over the last while. Reaching out like this is a crucial step and takes a lot of guts, so good on you!

The most important suggestion I can offer is to try and seek out different psychologists or psychiatrists to work with -- some click better than others with people and that's just the way it goes. This is an area that will help you long-term and will take some effort seeing a couple different people but it really will help the process.

Secondly, regular exercise is very helpful. It may mean that every day, you go out for a walk for 20 minutes. That's it. Don't make it a big thing, just be consistent.

Thirdly, really try to avoid candy or high-sugar foods. Erratic blood sugar levels add overall dissatisfaction.

----

These are a few little things that I know have helped people close to me. Routine is critical and will take some getting used to but I know you can do this!

1) Wake up early, don't rush your morning. Make your bed and have a solid breakfast.

2) As you're eating breakfast, set very clear, realistic goals for yourself (try for one or two at first). Writing them down can help.

3) Smile during the day, even if you feel like shit (remember, routine is critical). Try to hold it for 5-10 seconds. Remember to breath, deep in through your nose, hard out through your mouth. Close your eyes.

4) Express appreciation, beware giving advice where possible.

5) At the end of the day while you are lying in bed, think about your day or talk to your partner. No matter how shitty it may have felt, you must come up with 3 things you accomplished or are grateful for. One you can count on is that you set a goal for yourself in the morning and you accomplished it. Other examples, you're happy that you called that client back. You took that 20 minute walk. You took the stairs instead of the elevator today. You're grateful that traffic was good going home. You didn't eat that ice cream despite how much you really wanted it. I don't care how small it feels or how stupid it sounds, you must list 3 things.

Routine is crucial (noticing a pattern?)! Reaching out to a supportive social network like friends and family you trust will ease the burden, as will talking to a professional you feel isn't just talking at you. Something that is very normal for people is to not want to burden anyone with their problems, but at the same time would help someone else out in a heartbeat if they asked. Let people help you, you don't need to do it all by yourself.

I wish you the best of luck, Andy. I know you can do this

[Kobe]

I was super depressed for a long time, seemed like nothing was working, ended up wanting to be isolated for the world to be honest.

I was extremely unmotivated, i'd just sit around nonstop doing nothing, playing games on my phone or whatever.

Ending up buying some puzzles to keep my occupied and it worked pretty well, but wasn't exactly happier. I ended up creating a routine, which I failed pretty hard the first time.

Felt lost AF non stop, i ended up making another routine, and keeping to it..



Ended up making a big google excel sheet I promised myself I'd open and edit every day.

Rating on feelings per day out of 10 / why i feel like I do / What i'm going to do all day, and stick to the routine, still failed sometimes but over time it got a bit better.

Routines seemed silly trust me, i was like WTF am i suppose to do with it, how will it help me? and shit is not easy to maintain.



It sucks and it's way better to talk about it. I had a good friend (old room mate) with money to survive for 6 years+ still traveling around the world non-stop come back home to the states and just drown himself, with no notice was super sad to hear cause I'm 100% sure it could of been avoided.

Having people there for you helps as well, even just a "I'm here to talk if you need to" - I had a female friend I told how extremely grateful I am for her being supportive and shes like really? Did I really do anything? I'm like yahhh, just knowing people care is huge.


I think the big thing that got me down is I wasn't ever in Calgary for a long period of time, always traveling to new countries then came back and had to be here and it really took a toll on me + Getting hit financially didn't help.

Told myself I'm going to go back to Europe or Mexico and started to plan a bit (even though its still months away) it has actually made me look forward to something and that was def the turning point for me.

Edit: Friend once told me, life is like walking up a bumpy hill, sometimes you will have to go downwards and hit obstacles, some humps are bigger than others, but in the end you keep walking up, don't give up on it..

Here is a little list I made for when I was getting super frustrated, i found online put into my little excel sheet.





So here if you want to talk as well, feel free to PM me!

[craigcd]

Takes balls to post this for sure, good job. I dont have as detailed response as everyone else but focus on exercise...... every single day. Whether it be a walk or a run/gym/etc get out and do it. Aside from that focus on small wins and try to repeat the next day. Soon the wins should out strip the losses.

Its tough, hang in there! One day at a time.

[firebane]

I feel the struggle as I think the only thing from keeping me going insane is my dog and girlfriend.

End of 2017 was absolutely brutal for me . If you need someone to vent or talk to let me know.

[Hallowed_point]

Sorry to hear this man but you're not alone. Depression is rampant in my family and I often get severe winter blues.
What works for me: not sleeping in too late, socializing with people (even random people when you go for a walk etc.)
Hearing a joke or a story from someone can really change your whole day. Stay off social media and your phone. Start
some sort of a project not necessarily anything expensive. Revisit an old hobby or interest from your childhood. I've got
a shit ton of old star wars toys that I'm planning on making a display case for. Exercise is tough because it's damn hard to
get motivated, but even a brisk walk around glenmore reservoir helps me. Try and reconnect with old friends who won't
be as likely to judge you. 99% of the time we are beating ourselves up and the rest of the world has a completely different
(better) image of you. It's extremely important for myself to get sun exposure in the winter. So hence the getting up early
even though I hate it!

[revelations]

I used to suffer from depression (although nothing requiring meds) and I found that there are many options. Simply running to drugs does not work in all cases.

One idea for a major role in depression - PTSD - or the concept that many depression sufferers are suffering from early childhood/adolescent trauma (in my case, yes). Dealing with the PTSD (root cause) results in addressing the depression issue.

Another thing I found was that once I started examining my own thoughts during the day - and (this took LOTS of effort) change that inner voice, it affected my ENTIRE life - even parts of my life that which I had no control over.


PM me for more info.

[Abeo]

AndyL: sorry to hear you are going through this. My family suffers from depression, so I can appreciate what you are going through.
What helped me: change of drugs (old stuff simply wasn't working anymore, like I fell off a cliff... temp drug + AD change helped)
Talking with a therapist: you really need the right one. Some of them were downright damaging. The one I had helped a fair bit.
Talking with friends - just getting it out there, out loud, somehow allowed my brain to process it differently. Having a friend to bitch to sure helped. Just shooting the shit at a reduced capacity helped.
Exercise - wasn't the end-all fix that it was purported to be. But going out for a walk when I was somewhat ok made things a bit better than staying inside
Time off work - I was in no shape to work anyways, so I was sent home for a month to deal with things
Learning to be in the moment - sure sounds dumb when you are in crisis. But on your more lucid times, it helps to train the brain a bit
Stopping all caffeine and alcohol - I could actually predict the amplification of my symptoms with the addition of those two. I had to stop both.

[CLiVE]

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Secondly, regular exercise is very helpful. It may mean that every day, you go out for a walk for 20 minutes. That's it. Don't make it a big thing, just be consistent.

I suffered for years with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and insomnia. Was treated using CBT, and medication.
Exercise is what finally got me out of the cycle. Slow at first ~15mins, and slowly increased over time. Now a triathlete and 35 triathlons later - no looking back.

It takes guts to talk about it. I hid it from everyone but my spouse at the time and was ashamed to talk about it.
Many others have also offered, but open to a chat / coffee anytime. Cheers.

[schurchill39]

Hey Andy, I can absolutely relate and in addition to the great advice received here so far I want to strongly second keep trying to find new/different councilors or doctors. In 2009/2010 when I was depressed I was extremely frustrated with my health care providers, seeing the councilor or psychiatrist felt like a huge waste of time and no one actually wanted to help. I found a doctor that finally seemed to care and I credit her with saving my life. It took a little bit of trial and error but a solid medical support system is key. Do not give up on that. Just because you are currently dealing with people who you feel like are a waste of time it doesn't mean everyone will be, it just means that they aren't the right fit.

Once you find this doctor start looking at your medication. Ask questions, and do research for everything they tell you. I found that my original doctor and psych had their "go-to" meds they prescribed and very rarely ever wanted to try anything else. At every turn they would just up the doseage instead of wavering from those medications. I'm not saying that maybe dosage isn't an issue but its important to have a doctor willing to reach deep into their tool box to see what else they may have as mental health and medication effects vary so much from person to person. I know I tried 4-5 meds, combinations, and dosages before we finally found something that worked. Seroquel was brutal for me in any capacity and did nothing except make me a zombie however its one of the most popular meds. Same with trazadone. After a year of struggling, once we found the right combination it made a world of a difference. Its 7+ years later and I am still on those same medications and have lived a happy life, a complete 180 from where I was at. If you don't feel like your medication or health care providers are working, keep challenging them. Just remember that you do need to give medications 1-1.5 months to really see if it is helping, and every new doctor or councilor you need to build the relationship with so its not a quick turn around.

In addition to that, when you feel like you're in a world of uncontrollable chaos, do like Extraslow said and find something you CAN control. The courts, your kids, your partner (or ex), traffic, other people at the grocery store are all things you CANNOT control so keep reminding yourself of that. Finding things you can control will help establish a bit of structure and consistency for you to build off of. Things you can control are your routine, how you react to people, and how you choose to portray yourself. Additional support for anger issues would probably be beneficial (and it sounds like that is one of the things you are looking into) when you have an outburst and have time to reflect after, understand that it was all in your control. Slowly but surely as you start to control other aspects of your life, and it clicks, you will start to see that even your anger is something you can control.

Best of luck to you my friend, you're not alone in the struggles.

[gretz]

Yoooooooooooooooo Andy...

If you ever need to get out, someone to talk to, you are always welcome to pop by... We can make some cool shit (i know you have ideas), any time (I don't care if it's 3am)... Bring the little one(s), I know my little guy enjoys the company as well.

Stay strong little homie and remember, you are never alone

[D'z Nutz]

Andy, I have nothing to add, but I applaud you and everyone else in this thread who is suffering or has suffered from depression for speaking up and speaking freely about it.

I don't suffer from it so I don't know what any of you are going through, but on other forums I'm on it's brought up from time to time and the most common thing people have said is they found it difficult to talk about it even with loved ones because they felt embarrassed, ashamed, weak, or whatever when it couldn't be further from the truth.

[tonytiger55]

Thats quite the drama Andy.

Life can be pretty brutal. It can beat you down and keep you there.

I had depression and anxiety pretty bad a few years back. Like really bad. I don't know where to begin to structure this. Sorry about the grammar and spelling ive was up 2am writing this draft. Im sneakily finishing it up at work. I was a bit hesitant to post. But fuck it.

I had highs and lows a lot in my teens. In my twenties they were getting worse and worse.
In my 20's the depression was getting worse and worse. My mood swings got really bad and my temper was uncontrolled (Almost like the typical East Indian guy with mummies boy syndrome you find in Calgary but x 1000).
Every day i had to think of a reason to get out of bed. There were times I could not even get out of bed.

In 2007 I manage to escape the craziness I was in. I came to Canada to try and start again. I spent 17 years controlled. I dont want to go back to that again or being controlled.
Well, I found myself in the exact same position. Same mistakes, the highs and lows just got worse. The depression was overwhelming; the problems were overwhelming in all areas. Nothing i could do was right.
Not only that, but the depression was so bad, it fucks with you head. It made me feel like crap.

I had things coming to me in the middle of the night. Real fucked up shit. Shadows, the feeling of something or someone in the middle of the room in the darkness. I literally danced with the devil you could say.
Where does one go to help with that? You can't go to a library, pull up a book or go to the doctor? There is nowhere to go. Its fucked up.

The lows got really bad. I could not deal with my problems. It was too much. I worked out logically it was not worth me living. I had nothing to offer the world.

There are about 7 stages to suicide. 7 is where you do it. I was at 6.5. I was about two weeks away from killing myself. I had it all planned out, cut the wrists and run the shower.. just let it all be over with. I had started writing the letter to my mum explaining why.

In short I found a way out. Highs and lows are all gone, no depression all gone.... Im normal if there is such a thing.

Now im not gonna do the typical messiah line. Follow my path, I know the way. Fuuuuuck no.

This is what I did that helped me, I'l write as much as I can for now. I have other notes.
Drawings are a international language, I have diagrams and drawings that make this easier to understand. But I can't upload them here.

Depression is a dark void.
Different 'groups' in society have tools that help. People over hundreds of years had this figured out. But I learned you have to join their crazy club and talk to their imaginary friends to gain access to the material. Even then they might even fuck you up more.

So here are the tools that helped me. Im not saying they will help you. Its just what I did over ten years. Note the key word ‘TOOLS’

So one of the first things I needed to do was to figure out who I am. Whats going on in the head?
Why is this important?
Imagine being in prison but the person keeping you there is yourself, the people who you surround yourself with, including family, friends etc.
Now how could you tell if they (friends, family etc) were keeping you in prison?
Imagine lying to yourself and not knowing that you you are doing it. How do you tell what is real and what is not? Quite the dilema eh?

Stay with me. It will make sense.

I could not read self help books, I pick them up. Read them and put them down. I needed something live. Im a guy, I needed practical tools to deal with life stuff.

I went to holy people, church people, Religious people at the Sikh Gurdwara, Hindu Temples, I went to Shamen, Sweat Lodges, Witches, Reki healers, Mens groups, spiritual healers, Psychics, you fucking name it I did it. I had to figure out what was done to me and what was going on in my head. Guess what... nobody fucking knew. They all claimed to know but really they had no idea. But from each one I got a clue.

Think of it like the movie Memento and the Machinist. Im trying to figure out whats going on and why im feeling like this but at the same time I am are sabotaging your progress or telling myself lies and I don’t even know im doing it.

I kept a notebook (A nice leatherbound one with handmade paper I bought on Waterloo Bridge in London). This was super useful, I used it to keep notes of things I found, classes I took, notes I had learned about myself, tools about how to deal with my mind. The best way to describe it is like the book Indian Jones uses in the movie 'The Last Crusade'. I kept referring to my notes. As I got better, I found clues that I would refer to.

Tool no1. Open Eye meditation. There are many types of meditation. This one worked for me. When you think about the past it creates depression. When you think about the future it creates anxiety. So I had to focus on the 'now'.
Thats not going to happen. The mind is split up into factions what work independently from you. He's a fucking arsehole. He will do all-sorts to distract you.
We need to learn about this arsehole.
This tool helped focus my mind on the ‘present’. It leads to the tool called detached observation. It does not happen overnight. Its something you practice. It helps slow the mind down..

As a example. I could not sit still for three seconds. Just could not do it. I hated going to the classes. I went anyways. It was that, fall into depression and commit suicide. I had fuck all else. So I did the classes. Once the classes finished, I did them again. and again.

You can't stop thinking, so don’t try and stop it. The meditation classes did not teach me anything I did not know. What they did was give structure to the things I already knew. They gave me structure and tools to slowly manage and control my mind rather than my mind control me.
After one year I could sit for a whole year with no problem.

Tool no2. Detached observation.
This tool allowed me to see myself in third person. No just visually, but emotionally too. Just observe your thoughts, no judgement. Let them flow. Obeserve how they make you feel.
After a while I realized the person who I thought I was, was not really who I was. I mean, we have an idea of who we are. I realised I was a arsehole at times and I validated my behavior. This is key to resolving the depression.
Ok, so now im my worst enemy. Now what? Next tool.

Tool no3. Positive thinking Classes.
I did this along side the meditation classes. Why? These things will not change you. Its what your planting. The shit I was dealing with today was the result of things I did not do yesterday.

Think of your mind like a bathtub full of dirty water. If you unplug it and run a tap of clean water... the bath tub will not become clean right away. But as the clean water comes in slowly and the water flows out. The water will become clean. That’s what this tool does.

Tool no4. Habits. Understanding the pathways of your decision making.
When you walk to work. We walk across a field for example.. we dont even know we are doing it.. it becomes second nature.
Lets say I walk a different path one day. Its a bit harder as your walking across tall grass. The next day you think fuck it its easier to walk across the old path.
Well I walked across the rough grass. Eventually the grass flattened and the earth hardened.. a pathway formed. It did not happen overnight. But I walked across the field a few times, a path forms, the earth hardens.. The earth will grow grass and reclaim the old path. Not completely (old habits are there right?).
This is how your brain works when your decision making. I found I wasa doing / think through a process without realizing it. I did not like the process I was using.
You can retrain your mind. Reprogram yourself. So I want to change small things in my life. It starts with habits, pathways. I used this in connection with the other tools.

Tool no5. Power.
We all have power. We feel helpless... that happens as we give our power away.
We are born with three things. Dignity, self respect and humility. Even if you stand naked, you still have those things. Those things are YOURS. The problem is that we give them away. Hell we dont even know we are giving them away at times.
We give them away in various forms. Speech, gestures, to validate ourselves...validate our behavior or of who we think we are. The list is endless. Learn to keep them. Observing the self using tool no1. is an example.

Tool no6. Expectations and setting yourself up to fail.
We do this subconsciously with tool no.4.
We set an expectation on someone, a behavior. When they fail to meet our standards we get angry mad.
My ex girlfriend did not call me or give me attention or say hello. I created this expectation in my head. Fuck.. I don’t even know I was doing it, it happens in a subconscious manner. She did not meet them, I would get angry and mad at her.
I learned to manage the expectations in my life and that I place on myself and others. For example. I expected to be in a career, house, wife, kids etc. In realtiy I have non of that, so I have set a expectation for myself I just can’t reach. To myself I have failed.
This fucked with my emotions, then I start thinking about the past, this creates depression, I think about the future this creates anxiety. It’s a spiral.

Tool no 7. Dealing with Reality and not Fantasy. Knowing the difference between the two.

Here is a example.
I have a nice bike. I wanted a bike rack. They are expensive. I created a expectation on myself to have one, I validated my behavior that I deserve one (I work hard).
I cant have on. That’s the reality, I can’t have it. I can have a hissy fit all I want.
So lets deal with the reality of it. I used google and looked at home make bike racks. I did a sketch and bought a mitre saw off kijji for $20. I then went to home depot and bought some 2x4 for $6 and some screws for $5. Stain for $7.
I now have a hand made bike rack that looks waaay better.
The purpose of the story. I dealt with the reality of the situation.

Tool no. 8. Understanding the differences of the mind. The mind works independently from you and its always on. There are different parts to it. Too many to list here. Here are a few.
Ego & Maya. Ego is a cunt. Your ego will tell you to and no do things.
Maya Is a Hindu name of a godeess of temptation. In this case, its used to identify a section of the self/mind. Maya will temp you, she comes in various forms. i.e going for a Beer when really you should go home. Playing video games when you should be opening your letters and paying your bills.
Ego and May will work together to deceive you. A way of observing them and managing them is tool no1, 5, 6, 2 and 4.
A example. Lets say I want to go Chinook to buy some clothes etc
Im thinking, there will be traffic, its going to rain, then there is the hassle of parking. Oh fuck it I wont go. So before I have stepped out of the house. My mind has controlled me and deceived me. Hence the self deceives the self.
I went to Chinook, there was no traffic, parking was fine, weather was ok. Can you see how the mind can play games with you with things that do not exist?

At first its hard. But like with all the tools. Your swordsmanship gets better the more you practice.

Tool 9. Emotion. This tool is used with tool number 2. When someone says something I did not like. I detached and observed my emotions. Why is it making me react, making me feel angry?
Then I used tool number 3 and 4. I put in a positive virture and corrected the habit. I did it so many times. I became in control of my emotions and eventually my situations. My anger went away.
To manipulate someone, you need to get them into a emotional state. I changed my thinking habits to resolve my problems ‘intellectually’ and no emotionally.
So some of the challenges you are facing, its not the mistakes…. Its going back and observing what was your thought process to that problem. Otherwise you just keep making the same mistakes over and over like I did. This compounds the depression.

Tool 10. The pendulum.
So when I go about resolving my problems, I have a range of reference. Like a library that I refer to. Some of the books in the library are outdated. If I get a new book and try some of the new techniques some of them work. The pendulum moves to the far left. But when I fail, the pendulum goes back to the far right and I abandon the book/new habits.
Failure is part of it. You will fail. Not if, when. You will. Its letting the pendulum settle to the centre so you don’t fall back to the old habits by letting the pendulum fall back to the far right again. Its understanding failure

There are other tools, but that’s the beginning. It seems like a lot, its not. You will see variances of these tools in different workshops, faiths etc. Just find whatever works for you.

It’s not a overnight fix. It’s a journey. You dont have to do any of what I wrote in a particular order. They are tools. One might work better than others in your scenario.

It turned out that I was psychologically abused in a pretty fucked up manner since I was nine years old and touched borderline inappropriately. I was brainwashed into a cult where I was controlled all my life. . My emotions and identity were stretched like elastic bands on a daily basis. I was racially abused (beaten up sometimes) at school, college every day. Thats just the beginning, thats just the start of the crazy's that went on to cause my depression and anxiety. I figured ot the night terrors, I figured out why things were not going right in my life. Then I corrected it all. I still am fixing stuff.

I see similar behaviour traits in others sometimes. Some people progress. Some people get stuck between the layers. Most of the people i grew up with are on drugs, prison or both.
I met a old school friend a few years back and she asked how the fuck did I turn out ok?

After going meditation combined with other classes. After about a year my highs and lows all gone. Depression all long gone. I went a whole year without losing my temper.
Over the course of the next few years I was able to trace back what had really happened to me and what people did to me. I learned to re-program my mind as it got stronger and stronger. I learned my trigger points. I was in London at one point, and the way my dad and sisters spoke to me I relapsed. Again, I used to the tools to manage it and get out of it. Then I knew the triggers, the next step was to manage it so I don’t spiral.

This is what worked for me without doing counselling. Im normal (if there is such a thing) now. No mood swings, no anger, no highs or low, no anxiety, no depression etc. I can think so clearly now compared to how I used to be. Sometimes even I wonder how the hell I got out alive.

I mean my posts on this forum might seem strange at times, thats just my humour.
But in seriousness, im only posting this as I came close to ending it all. If you can take something from it then thats ok. If you dont, thats ok too.

Depression is a dark void and Ive seen others fall into it and not come back alive.
If you need more info or examples, or want to go for coffee (I drink tea) as others have posted. Just PM.

[CLiVE]

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I found that my original doctor and psych had their "go-to" meds they prescribed and very rarely ever wanted to try anything else. At every turn they would just up the dosage instead of wavering from those medications. I'm not saying that maybe dosage isn't an issue but its important to have a doctor willing to reach deep into their tool box to see what else they may have as mental health and medication effects vary so much from person to person. I know I tried 4-5 meds, combinations, and dosages before we finally found something that worked.

This is a very good point. The 'shopping' process as I call it when you're trying to find the medication that works the best for you is brutal. Crazy side effects with some of them.
I also went through a few (elavil) that made me feel like a zombie, and finally settled on a low dose SSRI (Cipralex). Give each one time, and continue to talk with your doctor.

[Abeo]

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...snip...

Holy shit, dude, thanks for posting that! Good job at systematically tackling it head on

[D'z Nutz]

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I had depression and anxiety pretty bad a few years back. Like really bad. I don't know where to begin to structure this. Sorry about the grammar and spelling ive was up 2am writing this draft. Im sneakily finishing it up at work. I was a bit hesitant to post. But fuck it.

I think "liking" posts is stupid and I'm glad we don't have it here, but if we did this would be a post I would like.

[HuMz]

One important thing I learned is that everyone struggles differently. So what learns for one person may not work for another, the key is gonna be to finding what works for you. Some while someone may give you what was good advice for them, it may not work for you (or even be harmful), but recognize that they are well intentioned. I fell into depression (and still battle everyday) after having my wife being in a significant accident, I then developed significant health issues to the point of having to withdraw from school, when things improved enough to finally get back to work it took 3 months to find a job, only to be laid off after 3 months, then to develop some more health issues.

There are some basics (many of which have been echoed here):
1. Have a scheduled routine. (get up same time everyday, even if you only sleep a couple hours)
2. Exercise, even if its walking.
3. Stress relief via pray, mindfulness, lifting weights, punching bag (good for anger), progressive muscle relaxation etc.
4. Write down your positive and negative thoughts in a journal. Be thankful for the positives, even if they seem insignificant, and then correct the negative ones and write them down. Its really difficult for a gracious heart to exist with one that is anxious or depressed. It will seem hard at first because your circumstances are so bad, but recgonize that there is power in trying to re-orient your thinking to be more gracious.
4b) If your thoughts head towards the past or future, right them down, then correct them be recognizing that you can't control that right now.
5. Recognize that there can be a purpose to your suffering, and that there are people who are able to withstand enormous amounts of suffering and be contempt and happy. You can come out on the other side of this having learned something valuable about yourself. I watched someone go through stage 4 stomach cancer until their last couple days (he vlogged the last year of his life), and he was able to stay gracious, contempt, and as happy as could be in that situation.
6. Stop trying to chase happiness, our culture is addicted to it, and the more you chase it, the less satisfied you will be. Virtually every ancient culture recognized that life had a much greater purpose then one own's happiness, and happiness was never the end goal, it was a byproduct of living for a greater purpose. It is because we have become so happiness focused, that people are more unhappy and depressed than ever.
7. Manage your diet, eat breakfast, avoid too much caffeine, and stay away from processed sugars. Some people find relief with a more Keto diet.
8. If there isn't much that can be done with your health, try to avoid researching all kinds of possible solutions.
9. Because alot of this involved what you do and think, recognize that your thoughts have a great deal of influence on how you feel, and your physical health. This is almost as close to a brute fact as you can get ( the mind and body are connected), and it took me a long time to realize that dwelling on all of the bad things that have happened to me, or trying to worry about the future, has a negative effect on my physical and emotional health.
10. What you've gone through can be used to help someone else facing something similar (even if its not right now in this moment).
11. Don't let any of your illnesses or negative circumstances take more from your life, then absolutely necessary. (Ex. When my stomach is knots, cramping, and feeling nauseous, at the very least I can let it prevent me from eating a meal and then I can get on with my day, or I can dwell on it and focus on how bad I feel, google solutions and how it will prevent me from all kinds of future accomplishments.
12. Avoid alcohol, I've recently decided to quit altogether after recognizing that it only contributes to my depression, and it negatively effects my sleep, digestive issues, tinnitus, and anxiety. It helps in the moment but it harmful when it wears off, and it can also alter the effectiveness of your anti-depressants.
13. Its normal for you to feel depressed after the amount of terrible things that have happened to you, it would be alot more abnormal to have all of that terrible stuff happened and to not have it effect you.
14. Clean your living space, keep a clean room.

For outside sources that have helped me I have seen a few Psychologists, however that becomes tough if your mind is scattered and your not aware of your thoughts, this is why journaling is so important. I've also been on mirtazipine to help with the low mood, anxiety, and insomnia. With alot of time at home, I've watched a lot of clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson's videos on youtube, his maps of meaning and personality series are all up for free. Here is a clip of his on depression https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c9Uu5eILZ8. He also has the self-authoring and future authoring program where you analyze yourself, your personality, then set goals for your future (Fair warning - this may make you feel more depressed temporarily as you may have to think about difficult things in your past). The most helpful book I read (from a christian perspective) was Tim Keller - Walking with god though pain and suffering. The first half analyzes the philosophical and rational basis for it, and how it has been handled throughout history, the 2nd half then moves more to the theological and practical approaches and solutions.

[Seth1968]

Run.

[Hallowed_point]

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I think "liking" posts is stupid and I'm glad we don't have it here, but if we did this would be a post I would like.

Same here. That was amazing!