Feedback on Article?

[A790]

Hey all,

I'm expanding my career horizons a bit and taking on more creative/editorial work. It's more fun than small-biz websites/SEO (not complaining, those clients keep my bills paid!). This is one of my first articles of that nature: http://www.goodcarbadcar.net/2018/03...n-a-00-bmw-z3/

I'd love your feedback. Specifically:

1. How is the writing style? Is it enjoyable?
2. How is the photography? Does it do a good job showcasing the car/road/etc?
3. Was it interesting to read, or was it boring?
4. What other ways could I improve it?

Thanks!

(puts flame suit on)

[HiTempguy1]

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Hey all,

I'm expanding my career horizons a bit and taking on more creative/editorial work. It's more fun than small-biz websites/SEO (not complaining, those clients keep my bills paid!). This is one of my first articles of that nature: http://www.goodcarbadcar.net/2018/03...n-a-00-bmw-z3/

I'd love your feedback. Specifically:

1. How is the writing style? Is it enjoyable?
2. How is the photography? Does it do a good job showcasing the car/road/etc?
3. Was it interesting to read, or was it boring?
4. What other ways could I improve it?

Thanks!

(puts flame suit on)

I don't think you need to put your flame suit on. It wasn't a piece of trash, if its your first article, well done IMO.

1. How is the writing style? Is it enjoyable? Yes... but...
   
   I felt if the article was aimed at car guys that more focus on the actual road and the car itself was needed. Your description of the road was generally vague. Would have been interesting to hear "at km XXX there was an amazing left into right etc etc" . The Pacific Coast Highway for instance has lots of known amazing sections. As for the car, there was basically zero info about it. Underpowered, but fun is what I got out of it. How about how it is holding up with its age? Is the top cantankerous (a sore point for lots of convertibles)? Would you consider owning one (this is a way to put a personal touch on the article, what YOU think of the car). The article gave me more of a travel guide article vs car enthusiast.
   
2. How is the photography? Does it do a good job showcasing the car/road/etc? The photos were well composed. I wouldn't get to crazy with the angled shots though (my opinion)
3. Was it interesting to read, or was it boring? I did find it fairly... nondescript? I guess what I am saying is I didn't find it stood out. It was a well written article that conveyed the story of your trip. The photos and overall writing were engaging, but nothing POPPED to me. Do I have a suggestion to improve on that? See previous points. Writing is a very personal thing, I imagine you'll get more of a unique style the more you do it. But its definitely something to keep in the back of your head.
   

That's all I've got. Good luck, I'll be interested to follow along on your car related adventures.

[A790]

Solid feedback, thank you.

[nzwasp]

I thought it was alright and I'm from that part of the world. Are you planning on writing about any other parts of NZ and driving while you are there?

Im not sure you needed that many photos there, some felt too similar to the others. If you had driven through napier cbd you could of taken a photo of the bmw infront of some cool art deco buildings, same with your journey involve more of the culture of the landscape.

From Tauranga around the coromandel would be a cool drive, which I have always wanted to do - never went to the Coromandel though.

[Crazyjoker77]

I had a hard time making it all the way through. Seems dragged out like a college paper where you needed to go back and add a bunch of filler to make up the extra page you where short. The amount of pictures made it seem longer and didn't help.

[Sugarphreak]

....

[botox]

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I had a hard time making it all the way through. Seems dragged out like a college paper where you needed to go back and add a bunch of filler to make up the extra page you where short. The amount of pictures made it seem longer and didn't help.

This is how I felt as well. Dragged on too much because of all the scrolling through the pictures with some only having a couple sentences in between some.

[ExtraSlow]

Agree with the comments above. Writing skill absolutely fine, and photos were good.

Overall I think you need to focus on the story telling aspect of this. You need to decide if you are focusing on the car, the road, the countryside or what. There didn't seem to be a solid focus to the piece.

The few times I've tried to do this type of writing I've found it helpful to lay everything out in point form outline format to make sure all the paragraphs are moving the story forward. I find this type of writing much harder than business writing too.
As an aside, I loved driving in NZ, such a cool country with interesting stuff around every bend.

Looking forward to reading more from you, please post your next article when it goes live.

[A790]

Really excellent feedback here, thank you. I echo a lot of your sentiments- even reading it now, I wonder what the story I wanted to tell was. It was more about the photography for me, since I'm trying to work my way in that direction more and more, and the car/drive were just icing on the cake.

RE: the site/ads, I am going to pass that feedback along to site admin. We can and should be doing better there.

Thanks all