Do you care for a senior or have put them in a home?

[nzwasp]

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With the TBI and the recent accidents, is this just old age or is there something more severe at play here? Sorry if you mentioned it in a previous post.

Too hard to know for sure, I mean is 66 really that old. Both my in-laws looked/look way more older than 65 than my own parents, or even other chinese people who are that age. My father in law before he passed away last year looked like he was 85.

[Jonel]

As others have mentioned, if getting into a assisted living / long term care home is one of your options then start booking appointments now, the waiting list is very long for good facilities and you'll want to actually go walk around the facility to see what your MIL's day to day life will be like. I'm not sure which quadrant of the city you live in but if you're near Crescent Heights, might want to check out http://www.wingkeicarecentre.org/ since you mentioned she's cantonese and has limited english vocab.

In the south side of the city there's AgeCare/InterCare/Carewest facilities in Midnapore, Seaton, Walden and Glenmore. Then for the North there's a brand new AgeCare facility opening up at Skypointe in June/July, as well as a Carewest/InterCare facility in Brentwood, Beddington and I believe Evanston.

If she'll be staying with you guys and only needs someone to be with her for about 8hrs a day while you guys are at work then check out those that specialize in Homecare such as Miraculum or Senior Homecare by Angels. Again, you'll want to start booking appointments now so that you have a chance to meet and assess who these companies will assign to take care of your MIL. If you go this route, you'll be taking a lot more time looking into each companies as some offer helping with light house duties like cooking/cleaning while others don't. Whomever you go with, make sure the person they assign to you is someone your MIL is comfortable/happy with because they could be companions for a long long time.

[speedog]

Holy crap, @nzwasp , talk about huge changes in your MIL's and your family's lives in the past month and more amazingly at a relatively young age for your MIL. I am lucky in that my parents are getting into their mid-80's and are still living independantly and are quite healthy and mobile. They both still drive with no issues and my Dad, at almost 83, finally retired after not renewing his licence (or whatever it is) to be a commercial realtor although he is still performing an advisory role for those that took over his files.

My MIL (75) on the other hand, has put our and my SIL's families through a lot of stuff for the past number of years. Luckily, a very dark point in her life not too long ago was a bit of a turning point for her and she willingly moved into a senior's apartment building. She is still living independantly but living amongst people her age was a good thing for her in developing new friendships. Still we have had countless hospital stays, surgeries, ambulance rides, doctor visits, emergancy alert calls (she wears one of those things on a necklace) and it all becomes quite taxing at times.

Your situation, however, is just a nightmare of unexpected upheaval in your life - stay strong and lean on those that you can rely upon. Keep yourself and your family sane and strong and pursue any available services/avenues that can aide you and your MIL..

[nzwasp]

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As others have mentioned, if getting into a assisted living / long term care home is one of your options then start booking appointments now, the waiting list is very long for good facilities and you'll want to actually go walk around the facility to see what your MIL's day to day life will be like. I'm not sure which quadrant of the city you live in but if you're near Crescent Heights, might want to check out http://www.wingkeicarecentre.org/ since you mentioned she's cantonese and has limited english vocab.

In the south side of the city there's AgeCare/InterCare/Carewest facilities in Midnapore, Seaton, Walden and Glenmore. Then for the North there's a brand new AgeCare facility opening up at Skypointe in June/July, as well as a Carewest/InterCare facility in Brentwood, Beddington and I believe Evanston.

If she'll be staying with you guys and only needs someone to be with her for about 8hrs a day while you guys are at work then check out those that specialize in Homecare such as Miraculum or Senior Homecare by Angels. Again, you'll want to start booking appointments now so that you have a chance to meet and assess who these companies will assign to take care of your MIL. If you go this route, you'll be taking a lot more time looking into each companies as some offer helping with light house duties like cooking/cleaning while others don't. Whomever you go with, make sure the person they assign to you is someone your MIL is comfortable/happy with because they could be companions for a long long time.

Thanks for the info.

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Holy crap, @nzwasp , talk about huge changes in your MIL's and your family's lives in the past month and more amazingly at a relatively young age for your MIL. I am lucky in that my parents are getting into their mid-80's and are still living independantly and are quite healthy and mobile. They both still drive with no issues and my Dad, at almost 83, finally retired after not renewing his licence (or whatever it is) to be a commercial realtor although he is still performing an advisory role for those that took over his files.

My MIL (75) on the other hand, has put our and my SIL's families through a lot of stuff for the past number of years. Luckily, a very dark point in her life not too long ago was a bit of a turning point for her and she willingly moved into a senior's apartment building. She is still living independantly but living amongst people her age was a good thing for her in developing new friendships. Still we have had countless hospital stays, surgeries, ambulance rides, doctor visits, emergancy alert calls (she wears one of those things on a necklace) and it all becomes quite taxing at times.

Your situation, however, is just a nightmare of unexpected upheaval in your life - stay strong and lean on those that you can rely upon. Keep yourself and your family sane and strong and pursue any available services/avenues that can aide you and your MIL..

Well she had a longer operation called a craniotomy last night and was much more alert and normal than the last few weeks so hopefully she will come back to a more normal state although time will tell, I just hope the brain damage that was done wont limit her too much.

[Xtrema]

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Well she had a longer operation called a craniotomy last night and was much more alert and normal than the last few weeks so hopefully she will come back to a more normal state although time will tell, I just hope the brain damage that was done wont limit her too much.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. As much as your wife hard set of taking on the duty to care for her mom, at some point, you'll need professional help when mind goes. Start laying the ground works. Like everyone said, there are waiting lists, it doesn't hurt to get on some now that you think it's suitable.

Also, wait til your kids start going to school, it's going be even more hectic then trying to manage all these.

Now be understandable that your wife, not sure she's CBC or not, may not like to send mom to a home because the stigma in Chinese culture for kids to do so to their parents and parents rarely willing to go as well. That isn't an easy thing to overcome.

[nzwasp]

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Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. As much as your wife hard set of taking on the duty to care for her mom, at some point, you'll need professional help when mind goes. Start laying the ground works. Like everyone said, there are waiting lists, it doesn't hurt to get on some now that you think it's suitable.

Also, wait til you kids start going to school, it's going be even more hectic then trying to manage tho.

Now be understandable that your wife, not sure she's CBC or not, may not like to send mom to a home because the stigma in Chinese community for kids to do so to their parents and parents rarely willing to go as well. That isn't a easy thing to overcome.

She is CBC and the surgery actually didnt work, this morning she was in a worse condition than straight after the surgery. Shes having the same surgery repeated again right now. She was basically unresponsive this morning which is a problem because we had an offer on her house and now are trying to enact enduring power of attorney to accept the offer. However the lawyer we used in Edmonton cant or wont find the files in their lawyers office because his coworker was the one that actually did it all. Its all a bit stressful especially because im in Peace River right now trying to talk to realtors and lawyers and then relay all that to my wife as well.

[Xtrema]

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She is CBC and the surgery actually didnt work, this morning she was in a worse condition than straight after the surgery. Shes having the same surgery repeated again right now. She was basically unresponsive this morning which is a problem because we had an offer on her house and now are trying to enact enduring power of attorney to accept the offer. However the lawyer we used in Edmonton cant or wont find the files in their lawyers office because his coworker was the one that actually did it all. Its all a bit stressful especially because im in Peace River right now trying to talk to realtors and lawyers and then relay all that to my wife as well.

Well, if you got any sick leaves, it's time to take them.

[ExtraSlow]

Some. Companies halve specific and separate compassionate leave for situations like this. Look into it.

[nzwasp]

Yeah my boss is pretty good about it however I won’t be back from peace river until Wednesday although she sounds like she’s in better condition today