WOW... Muddha fuckers. Just reading the post made my blood boil. These fuckers were in your home.
Glad your ok and no family was at home. Thats pretty good attention to detail.
Adrenaline and the rush of blood to the head can do all sorts. It could have easily gone the other way.
The thing about engaging the other person is that you don't know what is going on through their head. They may be high on something or withdrawal effects may put them in a very edgy state of mind. Mega props on keeping your cool. I doubt I would have been able to.
Hell if it was me it would have played out like this..
I mean these idiots go to burgle the house. One guy looks though the door to the toilet. He suddenly sees me taking a shit AFTER taking a shower. Thats pretty hardcore.. I mean thats some determination right there. (I would not fuck with a guy who does that.... would you?)
Then it hits him... the stench.. it BAD. Lasts nights butter chicken. Its almost as if a animal had crawled up Tony Tigers ass and just decided to die right here. The burglar reels back wide eyed gasping for air..
The native girl steps forwards towards the first guy and then freezes. The second guy looks over to see what is going on and notices the girl is standing looking confused.. she then starts swatting air in front of her with a look of confusion..like there are invisible flies or something. Perplexed the second guy attempts to move forward but he stops dead in his tracks as the stench of hell hits him, its like the explosive blast from the movie independence day.
Its all happening in slow motion. He pauses for a second and mumbles... 'Son of a bitch'.
The girl screams.
They scramble to the car and punch it in reverse.
Out of the corner I jump out and try to take a swing at the car. Knowing my luck I miss and fall..but then I would stumble, fall and then start rolling towards the car.
It would be like the scene from The Simpsons intro... the take on Indiana Jones... the giant rolling ball. TonyTiger is rolling down the drive towards the car..gaining momentum.
The native girl is sitting the back seat. She screams and points to the giant bowling ball that is Tony Tiger rolling towards them. The first guy is sitting in the passenger seat semi conscious. Upon seeing the giant bowling ball that is Me... he screams...Faster! Faster..!
The second guy yells, its a fucking Matrix..its giving it all its got.
Native girl starts to sob... she screams 'We all going to die!!!'
At the last moment the matrix hand brake turns around the corner, I fly past the car and continue rolling.. crashing through the neighbours fence and into the duck pond.
Sorry CMW403. Its Sunday.. I could not resist and had to add funnies.. but yes... a very serious scenario.
Glad your ok. Hope they catch the cunts.