Advice for a soon-to-be father

[sabad66]

Use an app called 'Baby Tracker' to track feedings/poops/pees for the first few months. We stopped using it about 5 months in but it was really useful early on when you're "supposed" to watch those things closely. Both mom and dad can have the same profile set up so you can both input entries from separate phones and it will update on both.

Also i would recommend changing diapers as much as you can. The facetime early on will really help build a relationship with your baby.

[nickyh]

Best advice from a moms perspective.

Support your wife if breast feeding doesn't work out. Nothing worse than being a women and not being able to feed your baby and beating yourself up for that. My husband was my rock making bottles, cleaning bottles, sterilizing for me, mixing formula.
Limit who comes to your house the first few weeks you are home. Just because people show up to see the baby doesn't mean you have to let them in or make it clear you are not up to entertaining. If they want to come clean, cook, do laundry, and hold the baby while you and your wife sleep or just have a break - don't be afraid to ask.
Ask for help from family, don't be afraid (sort of contradicts what I said above, but i regret not having people help me with basics - i don't want to talk, i'm exhausted, but i needed help).
Have a "safe" word with your wife in the even of postpartum depression. Something agreed to ahead of time so that your wife won't think you are just being a dick at that moment.
My husband did a bunch of skin to skin with our daughter when she was older, it's important for both parents to bond that way.

Honestly, like others have said, it goes by so quickly and feels like groundhog day most days, but the beginning is about survival - it a major change to your routine / life, so figure out how to get through it.
People who say, sleep when the baby sleeps can screw off. WHen they sleep for 30min every hr in the beginning how is that possible?

I took a picture every day of my daughter while on mat leave, I cherish those, because I barely remember the stages and they grow so quickly. I can look back without the fog and smile on them.

[grampafunk]

Sleep now. Our little guy is turning a year next month. I have been his primary care provider for the past 4 months.

Months 1 - 3 - they are pretty awesome but feeding every 3 hours gets to tiring.
Months 3 - 6 - were probably the easiest for us as it was still easy to put him down and he couldn't houdini himself to another room so you could still get things done.
Around 10 months our little dude started to teeth, sit up, stand up, crawl and every other developmental thing possible. Sleep schedules have been blown out of the water and he has become a bit of a terror.

In saying all that they are still awesome. Just accept that there will be hard days (really hard days) but there will also be awesome days. Take it for what it is a just go with the flow.

AND - do as much as you can for your wife / girlfriend.

AND - try and take time for yourselves, apart and together.

[FraserB]

No real advice, but congrats!!

[botox]

Make sure your phone always has space for pictures. Nothing more annoying than trying to catch a moment and you can't take the picture/video cause your phone is full and you are rushing to delete stuff. Enjoy the moment cause they grow up so fast. PPD is an under-rated so just try to be as helpful and POSTIVE!! as possible. I know a couple that broke up when baby was about 8months cause guy couldn't handle the stress from wife's PPD. Nothing else to say other than don't drop the baby and don't play football with them!

[infamous]

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Make sure your phone always has space for pictures. Nothing more annoying than trying to catch a moment and you can't take the picture/video cause your phone is full and you are rushing to delete stuff. Enjoy the moment cause they grow up so fast. PPD is an under-rated so just try to be as helpful and POSTIVE!! as possible. I know a couple that broke up when baby was about 8months cause guy couldn't handle the stress from wife's PPD. Nothing else to say other than don't drop the baby and don't play football with them!

i dropped my kid once, and accidentally threw him into a ceiling fan once too. shit happens, after 3 or 4 months their heads get pretty hard. don't think there is any long term damage.

[The_1]

congrats!
Enjoy it. They grow so fast.
It's one of those things where you learn as you go.

[gmc72]

Congrats!!!! Those newborn days are long behind me now, but there is a lot of good advice here. Before you know it, they'll be graduating high school and off to post secondary (that's where I am at the moment).

Again, Congrats!!!!!

[craigcd]

Congrats!

My only advice and its cliche as hell is watch the parenting video "Happiest Baby on the Block" you can get it on itunes now. If your baby isnt sleeping this is 100% a game changer. It was recommended to my wife and I and we overlooked it initially as you get some much "advice". Some of the practices seem a bit weird but they worked for us and all of our friends.

To this day my wife goes and helps out a new mom (cousin, friend, etc) and applies the techniques to get the baby to sleep. We have made the people who made that video a fortune and its typically our go to baby gift. Try it!


(as a side note they make another book/movie "Happiest Toddler on the Block" and that shit was bat shit crazy!!!)

[taemo]

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A lot men don't really bond with babies, so if that's you, don't freak out. For me, and many guys, that comes later when the kid has some more personality.

My best advice is to watch yourself and your wife for signs of postpartum depression, which is incredibly common, and can be serious. http://www.familiesmatter.ca has resources to assist both of you.

Biggest thing the dad can do during the early months is to just give the wife a break. If you can confidently handle the kid for three hours, she can get a nap, a coffee or a walk, and that's huge.

Another thing is to run interference with any family or friends that are being too demanding of mom.

This, my wife has some PPD and at 7 weeks, she still has some.
We haven't felt the need for support yet as fortunately her sister, MIL and my mother are always nearby to support her.
Other than that, make sure your wife gets plenty of sleep, rest and nourishment especially when breastfeeding.

We bought the Wonder Weeks app on the IOS and it's great reading that you can follow along during your newborns progression.

For diapers.. our little one went through 8-12 diapers in a day the first couple of weeks so I think we went through 4-5 boxes of newborn diaper then moved to #1.
hoping to stay with #1 for 2-3 months before moving to #2

have to say the World Cup has been a life saver for me as my wife gives me the baby at 5am for me to take care of, I just go downstairs and watch the game or Netflix. So I agree with everyone else that with a baby, you'll have more TV time than before

[speedog]

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Congrats!!!! Those newborn days are long behind me now, but there is a lot of good advice here. Before you know it, they'll be graduating high school and off to post secondary (that's where I am at the moment).

Again, Congrats!!!!!

Mine have all graduated and moved out on their own, one is engaged, two more might as well be and the oldest takes possession of their condo right quick. The house sure is quiet which is a nice change and welcomed as well.

[bigbadboss101]

Congratulations on your baby! People say cherish the moments because they grow up too fast. The first while baby will eat every 2-3 hours so night time can mean breast feeding, pumping, bottle feeding. Our first didn't take the bottle. She is now 3.5 years old. Our new boy is 2 weeks old and he does use the bottle for breast milk. I find it to be a good bonding moment when I am bottle feeding him.

Baby will use 10-12 diapers a day and often they will go right after you change them. It's cute and funny in a way. First little while some parents don't like to take their newborn anywhere unless it's necessary so social life will be different. Also there will be times when one would decide chores can wait. Depending on the method of birth our wives will need support emotionally and physically. It is a blessing to have grand parents here. Our kids' grand parents do not live in Calgary but both grandmas will be here at different times over the next two months. There presence is greatly appreciated.

Newborn will sleep, cry for food, and poop/pee. Relatively low maintenance ;-) When you also have a toddler around they things can get interesting/hectic.

[Sugarphreak]

...

[redline]

First off congrats ... it’s too late for the pull out talk ....

Second they grow and change so fast DONT buy anything new.... except a car seat...

Once upon a child/ Kijiji is your friend, so much brand new crap in those stores/ online you will save thousands...

I agree with most that first couple months is easy... when they start to move it’s a nightmare....

Good luck, don’t stress enjoy your last month of freedom

[msommers]

No parenting advice but I remember a fun fact a psych friend told me:

Surround infants with different languages and explain things you are doing despite you feeling like they don’t understand. Even in the first 3 months, these babies’ minds are like a sponge, their level of learning and information intake is staggering. One study showed kids exposed to a different language early on had an easier time actually learning that language later, with better enunciation, even if it’s a language not spoken at home.

Congratulations!

[dirtsniffer]

Have an 11 week old personally.

Dont stress about a birth plan. There are lots of ways a baby comes and the biggest thing is to do it safely. My wife really benefited from an epidural. It did prolong labour by a couple hours. Watch the baby being birthed. Once it's out stay up near the heads. Cut the cord. When anyone asks "hows everyone?" In the hospital they do not mean you. Do not even bring up how you're doing at the hospital. Call a friend or family if you need to vent. Keep reminding yourself that your wife went through major trauma and will need a lot of support. After 2 weeks she'll hopefully be more back to normal.

Dont stress about feeding. Can be really tough for a first time mom to get milk to come in. Dont feel guilty about using formula. The stress from sleepless nights is harder on everyone.

The medela freestyle sucks, or doesnt depending on how you look at it. I'd rent a pump before deciding what you need. The medela hand pump works quite well. If your so will be pumping frequently I'd get a hospital grade pump.

Get a lot of baby clothes. Like way more than you think you need.

The uppababy bassinet is great

If you have a two story house have changing stations on each level.

Get a stretchy cover for your car seat so you can cover the baby in public. Old people are nosy.

From a relationship point of view be extra supportive and thankful. It's a high stress time and even the please and thanks goes a long way. Always hear and take things with assuming the best. Dont take offence about the tone of what is said and understand she is coming from a place of love and needs support.

Try to have some alone time with the baby. It will help with separation anxiety. Keep focusing on quality time with mom. Put the phone away and talk or play games, eat dinner.

Try to enjoy every minute. Speaking for friends with toddlers they did not enjoy the preciousness of the fully defendant new born stage enough.

[schurchill39]

The best thing we did was set a 2 week alone time rule. We wanted 2 weeks to just settle in before friends and family bombarded us. We weren't popular for it but it was one of the best things we did for us to figure out lives out with the new little dude. By the time family rolled around we were ready and more prepared to tell people to back-off when needed.

Like ExtraSlow said some dads bond a little later with the kiddo than others so don't get down on yourself if you don't hit that immediate spark. A kid could feel like a responsibility as opposed to a loved one right off the bat and thats okay. I was fortunate enough to fall into the other category but I know I may be a special case.

The best thing I did for ME was take a full month off of work. Any time you can spend at home helping momma out and bonding is time you will forever cherish. I am very thankful I was fortunate enough to have that time, and my wife really appreciated the extra help.

[bjstare]

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If you have a two story house have changing stations on each level.

Get a stretchy cover for your car seat so you can cover the baby in public. Old people are nosy.

Try to have some alone time with the baby. It will help with separation anxiety. Keep focusing on quality time with mom. Put the phone away and talk or play games, eat dinner.

These ones resonate with me. Old ladies just randomly get drawn like moths to a light... never can go anywhere without some random person poking her head right into the stroller to stare your baby in the face and ask you/them questions. Gets old fast.

Changing stations on each level is a great idea. Especially because in a sleep deprived/low energy state, we wanted to minimise trips up and down stairs (not out of laziness, but neither one of us wanted to be the first one to slip and fall with the baby haha)

I had to do a reset for myself after a few weeks once the baby got a little more cognisant of what was going on. Too easy to just make sure she's fed/changed/napping and then start netflixing or surfing on my phone, and I noticed I was starting to miss bits of interactive time with her. Not only is it important for development, I also want to take the time I have at home to be as attentive as I can and bond as much as possible.


Also, somewhat OT, but RE: Nuna Pipa, it is fucking massive. It goes behind our passenger seat, but only works cause my wife's a shrimp. That being said, we do like the seat a lot. Love the built in stretchy cover that just pulls out and attaches with magnets. Definitely helps keep the old ladies at bay.

[bleu]

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These ones resonate with me. Old ladies just randomly get drawn like moths to a light... never can go anywhere without some random person poking her head right into the stroller to stare your baby in the face and ask you/them questions. Gets old fast.

Also, somewhat OT, but RE: Nuna Pipa, it is fucking massive. It goes behind our passenger seat, but only works cause my wife's a shrimp. That being said, we do like the seat a lot. Love the built in stretchy cover that just pulls out and attaches with magnets. Definitely helps keep the old ladies at bay.

It baffles my mind how absolute strangers think it is perfectly acceptable to come and touch someone’s baby without asking. It happens almost daily when I am out. I was holding my daughter the other day at the mall and turn around and some man was reaching to touch her face. I was able to shift my daughter to the other side by turning. Some will legit reach into the stroller. I understand babies are cute, but holy hell, freaking people. My husband and I seem to run interference often.

We also have a Nuna Pipa. Luckily I am short so it’s installed behind my seat. It is fricken massive and getting it out of the stroller frame is a bitch.

[rage2]

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It baffles my mind how absolute strangers think it is perfectly acceptable to come and touch someone’s baby without asking. It happens almost daily when I am out.

Out of curiosity, is there a problem with that? I had the same deal with my boys, never really thought twice about having a stranger touch them.

That being said, I had more hot chicks than old ladies randomly come up.