Hidden assets during separation/divorce - lawyer suggestions

[rx7boi]

Hi all,

It's with a heavy heart that I write this and long story short, my parents are in the process of separating and we believe one of them is hiding assets and any attempts at amicable separation/asset division among themselves have failed.

We are considering legal action to help facilitate things and was wondering if anyone had suggestions or experience with a family lawyer.

There were some good reviews for Crossroads Law but wanted to cast a net here for any leads.

Cheers and thanks in advance.

[bjstare]

If at all remotely possible, use a mediator. If you dispute via lawyers it will cost tens of thousands (or more).

(Sorry, this doesn’t help with the hiding assets thing. Once you engage with a lawyer and start proceedings, both parties have to provide disclosure. I would hope they aren’t willing to lie to the lawyers/courts about their assets out of spite for one another)

[ExtraSlow]

The assets better be worth 100k minimum to make the lawyer fees worthwhile. Plus the extra stress of an adversarial court process.

[revelations]

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The assets better be worth 100k minimum to make the lawyer fees worthwhile. Plus the extra stress of an adversarial court process.

Yea this - my brother and his ex just split up officially and they ended up fairly amicable - but even then the lawyers got a combined 60,000$.

One or both of them were busted for 'clocking' however. Not sure if anything is going to become of that.

They were advised to get a mediator at first, but both refused.

[bjstare]

Emotion turns people into neanderthals.

[spikerS]

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Emotion turns people into neanderthals.

QFT. When I split with my ex, I offered her to keep the house, I would walk away, and she would assume our debts as the equity in the house and our debts were pretty close to being a wash. She said no, she couldn't afford it, so I offered the exact reverse of the deal, I would keep the house and assume all the marital debts and she could walk away. Again, she refused and her reason was she didn't want me to have the house...Instead, we have lawyers draining us.

[arcticcat522]

Something similar happened with my ex. We werent married, but had a condo together. Bought when the market was high, split when the marked was low. Eventually she let me keep the unit and assume all the debt, but she told everyone who would listen how I screwed her over because I got a condo that was worth less than was owed.....idiot. She was a bright girl too, not sure how she rationalized it in her mind.

[Maxx Mazda]

Resolve Legal group 10,000%.

If someone is hiding assets, they’ll get to the bottom of it. If you’d like, PM me and I can put you in touch with some great people there.

[rx7boi]

Thanks everyone, it's been a bit of a whirlwind so we don't want to make any rash decisions. I am just floored by how stubborn and despicable one of them has been acting this whole time and it's not something I can ignore.
@Maxx _Mazda thanks for the offer. Did a family member or friend use Resolve Legal Group in the past? How did the situation turn out?

[Mitsu3000gt]

From what I understand, the courts don't look too fondly on the party that is found to be hiding assets and they might end up getting the short end of the stick in terms of asset division as a result. If somehow you can get the stubborn one to understand that, perhaps it would be motivation enough for them to agree to use a mediator and not only save tens of thousands but also get their fair share after the split. Regardless, I'm sorry for your troubles and I hope it all works out as well as it can. I don't know the details, but divorce/separation isn't always a sad thing if it means that two people who are no longer happy together are able to go their separate ways.

[rx7boi]

I would agree with that sentiment and it's something that has been brought to the table for both parties to be aware of which is why it's frustrating to see how irrational people can be in the course of these things as also highlighed in members' posts above.

Basically, the TL;DR is that there is a perceived power differential, arrogance, and ignorance where one of them thinks they can do whatever they want and think that they will get away with it. The uncooperative and obstructive nature of their actions is forcing our hand to more extreme measures.

I am not sure if there are other ways to do this without mediators and/or legal teams, nor would I really know where to begin to fully track down hidden assets without representation and relevant channels.

[tonytiger55]

So sorry to hear this rx7boi.

Are you able to turn to your parents community/close family members/ religious institutions?
A distant relative wanted to divorce. Over four close family members, including both sides of the parents. Got together to sort it out. It took many weeks.
The couple would not listen to each other but they would listen to the other parties. They were able to get the message across and resolve the issue.

[CompletelyNumb]

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QFT. When I split with my ex, I offered her to keep the house, I would walk away, and she would assume our debts as the equity in the house and our debts were pretty close to being a wash. She said no, she couldn't afford it, so I offered the exact reverse of the deal, I would keep the house and assume all the marital debts and she could walk away. Again, she refused and her reason was she didn't want me to have the house...Instead, we have lawyers draining us.

Ah yes, the classic "lawyer gets the house, we split the debt" scenario.

[Rocket1k78]

Sorry to hear rx7boi.

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The assets better be worth 100k minimum to make the lawyer fees worthwhile. Plus the extra stress of an adversarial court process.

My friend is going through a divorce and hes being a stubborn fuck because he was the main provider and just his first couple lawyer bills were averaging 8k month. They're going through the mediation route but thats not cheap either, i think he said his portion alone was 4500 per day and each time they didnt really get anywhere. Ive had so many talks with him to get him to see the big picture but hes just too stubborn to realize.

[ExtraSlow]

Some people just want to hurt others one they feel they have been hurt.

[Rocket1k78]

^^100% my buddy is acting like this to try and hurt her for sure

[ExtraSlow]

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^^100% my buddy is acting like this to try and hurt her for sure

If that's how it's going, just stand back and try not to get caught in the blast. Once people at in this mindset, it's really hard to assist them.

[rx7boi]

Agreed. Once people have made up their mind, it's hard to speak reason into them.

Some people need to hit rock bottom and lose it all before they see reason. Or not. Plenty of people carry on and leave this world as lesser people.

[ThePenIsMightier]

Align yourself with the person who is obviously stealing. They will win.
Gain their trust to where you can obtain the stolen funds. Redistribute.

^Sounds crazy, but lawyers are a worse decision than double-suicide, here. I know someone who currently holds a signed pre-nup and can demonstrate that the other party revised and took active part in its development prior to signing it. It was not signed under duress. It's now been more than 24 months of lawyers and still appears to be far from resolution. One of the parties has been out of the primary house and forbidden to enter it without police supervision for this entire duration.
Millions are at stake, but you'd think a high net worth individual could pay a fancy lawyer to get a signed pre-nup across the goal line. No.

Seek revenge - dig two graves.

[AndyL]

Marriage brings out the worst in people.

Rx7boi - I'd try to withdraw from being the battleground. Don't let yourself be drawn in. If they call to complain about the other parent. Hang up. Set a clear boundary with both. They're adults let them figure it out...

Sorry best I can do, watched friends parents do this and almost decimate multiple families as they imploded in the worst way imaginable.