Should couples have joint or separate bank accounts?

[ExtraSlow]

I like this, with a small tweak. Instead of "contributing" to the joint account, have all paycheques go into the joint account right off the bat. Then personal accounts are paid by "allowance" afterwards. Doesn't make much difference when you are young and childless, but when one person is staying home on maternity leave, or permanently, it's a cleaner way to avoid the fight about valuing work in the home vs work outside the home. Also more transparent about the spending habits of each person, which I think is a valuable conversation.

Although, a few years back when I was unemployed for the second time, we stopped giving ourselves an allowance at all. We are pretty much down to a one bank account system in reality. There's also fewer ways to spend personal money when you are old and boring, especially during a pandemic.

[Tik-Tok]

That's what we do. Doesn't matter that one of us earns higher and contributes more. We're partners and in it together. So we get the same allowance.

The only monies that don't go into the joint account is bonus's and side jobs.

[killramos]

Best solution is MMM and each of you just spend what you want.

[Lex350]

I've always had both. One joint account for the household finances and one for my own.

[90_Shelby]

It’s interesting that when a couple gets a divorce, everything is typically split 50/50 regardless of who earns more. But when it comes to the 3 account system, the lower paid contributor is not entitled to 50%.

Wouldn’t the 3 account system also reduce your overall buying power if there is a reasonable differential between incomes? Could your dreams of living in Aspen come sooner with a one account system? Would the payments on your new Trackhawk be easier to stomach when you can rely on some of your partners income when your cash flow is already tapped?

[ercchry]

Last one: she was financially retarded, had joint account but her cheques still went to her personal account and she transferred $$ towards the bills that pulled from that account, and of course forgot to pay her cc that she would secret shop with and buttfucked her credit

Fun fact: (at least at BMO) you can’t remove someone from an account, you have to close it. Since I initially added her to my account, and all the bills were my bills after the fact it was a nightmare to severe that one. So make a new account from scratch for a joint account

Current one:

Joint cc, much easier. Put as many bills as possible on it, she just sends a nice and easy, provable consistent “rent” emt every month to me for the bills in my account, all joint spending on the card, pay her a separate mid-month amount for whatever costs are on there.... way less stress. But also helps she is an adult

[speedog]

Joint account is what we've always had, it's no big deal if she wants to go out with some friends or if I want to do the same. If either of us want to buy something that's a bit of an extravagance, then a discussion is had and the purchase is made. It's been working well for us for 30+ years now, don't see any reason to change and this despite the fact that I have been the majority bread winner for pretty much all of those years.

Also, do get both names on utility accounts, vehicle insurance and registration and a whole bunch of other shit as well because if one becomes incapicitated in any way, temporary or not, it will just make things way easier. Even our Pisces Pet account created issues in that it was set up with our home phone number but only my name - so both my wife and I could make purchases using the account but she couldn't use the accumulated points because her name wasn't on the account.

It is actually quite difficult to get some things done if both partner's names are not on an account and then because of whatever circumstances something needs to changed and then it can't be accomplished because the name on the account is out of town or unavailable. Yeah, it seems unimportant most of the time but it'll bite you in the butt when it becomes an issue - for years we had all of our utility accounts just in my name and because of some insignificant situation that occurred while I was working out of town and out of cellular reception, we discover first hand how much grief that could create. If I recall correctly, it had something to do with a gas meter relocation to the outside of our home - a relocation being done at the request of the gas company which subsequently got delayed because my wife's name was not on the account and as such, her direction in where to locate the meter on the outside of our home couldn't be used.

[killramos]

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It’s interesting that when a couple gets a divorce, everything is typically split 50/50 regardless of who earns more. But when it comes to the 3 account system, the lower paid contributor is not entitled to 50%.

No kidding. You trying to incentivize her to leave you or something?

Though admittedly, a 1 time 50% is much cheaper than perpetual 50%.

[ercchry]

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No kidding. You trying to incentivize her to leave you or something?

Though admittedly, a 1 time 50% is much cheaper than perpetual 50%.

It’s pretty easy to make sure they get nothing...

1 house to 3 houses (separate properties, and the original one) plus “getting the house ready to sell” renos and carrying costs... burn it all up right fast

[lasimmon]

We do the 3 account system with a joint credit card as we just carried on from when we were dating. Likely to change once kids are on the scene soon. We make basically the same though so its sort of just a wash.

[gwill]

Been with my wife for 16+ years and not once has the topic of joint accounts ever come up. I pay 95% of the bills. She sends an email transfer for the mortgage as I pay that.

Neither of us are bad with money so perhaps that's why join accounts has never been a discussion thats happened.

Only joint bill/account we have is the one of our properties as well as the one new vehicle we bought in june. Her name was only added to her vehicle for work purposes.

I think its odd when I hear some friends have setup seperate accounts to set aside money for specific reasons(vacations/trips/bills).

[90_Shelby]

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We do the 3 account system with a joint credit card as we just carried on from when we were dating. Likely to change once kids are on the scene soon. We make basically the same though so its sort of just a wash.

We did the 3 account system while we lived together but before getting married and having kids. Once we were married and decided to have kids, one account.

[gwill]

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It’s pretty easy to make sure they get nothing...

1 house to 3 houses (separate properties, and the original one) plus “getting the house ready to sell” renos and carrying costs... burn it all up right fast

You can't sell your houses without your partners approval even if you bought it before you were together and his/her name isn't on title. I'm in the midst of selling one of ours with only my name on title and the lawyers needed my wife's blessing.

[ercchry]

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You can't sell your houses without your partners approval even if you bought it before you were together and his/her name isn't on title. I'm in the midst of selling one of ours with only my name on title and the lawyers needed my wife's blessing.

I’m not talking about selling them... I’m talking about multiplying them as you now no longer live together and no one wants the big one solo. All this capital has to come from somewhere so the “joint savings” get lit on fire till the joint asset goes

[Buster]

Do you guys setup USAs to lay the ground rules for your separate accounts? How do you handle cash calls? If one partner has to carry a balance from the other, what rate do you charge? If collections becomes an issue, do you send that third party or do you have Bruno go check in on them. Does kids' allowance come out of the joint account? Is there a good template for intra-marriage expense reporting?

[killramos]

Pretty much works the same way as your mistress.

Predefined arbitration agreement and an annual punch card for sexy time.

[JRSC00LUDE]

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I like this, with a small tweak. Instead of "contributing" to the joint account, have all paycheques go into the joint account right off the bat. Then personal accounts are paid by "allowance" afterwards. Doesn't make much difference when you are young and childless, but when one person is staying home on maternity leave, or permanently, it's a cleaner way to avoid the fight about valuing work in the home vs work outside the home. Also more transparent about the spending habits of each person, which I think is a valuable conversation.

Although, a few years back when I was unemployed for the second time, we stopped giving ourselves an allowance at all. We are pretty much down to a one bank account system in reality. There's also fewer ways to spend personal money when you are old and boring, especially during a pandemic.

Do you really want your S.O. to know exactly what you make? Or spend? Or on what? Seems dangerous. I'd be more of a "this is our monthly cost to fund the home, how are we dividing it?" toss your money into that account on the 1st and leave it at that kind of guy.

EDIT - But I'm even MORE of a how about buy your own house and live there kind of guy.

[A790]

The mental hoops some of you guys go through re: money and partners is hilarious.

[ercchry]

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The mental hoops some of you guys go through re: money and partners is hilarious.

...till it’s not just ask @rage2

[Buster]

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The mental hoops some of you guys go through re: money and partners is hilarious.

Do I need to bother signing my reps when I send them to you?