Formula 1 Johnnie Walker Belgian Grand Prix 2019
Miss me..? Miss me..? I know ya all did..
FORMULA 1 JOHNNIE WALKER BELGIAN GRAND PRIX 2019
Its Spa baby.. SPAAAAA!!.
After a boring start to the season, it took the British Grand Prix to Brexit-bitchlap to all those involved. Some excitement was finally injected into F1 again. Its been a exciting set of races since then.
The summer break has allowed our heros to take a ponder and wonder on their next strategy.
Gasly has been dropped to the midpack. He is deeply disappointed. Christian Horner has quoted him saying ‘I did not quit my job as Scarlett Johansson’s stunt double in Hollywood to be demoted. Its just not fair’ . I guess its fair to say if he entered a lookalike competition, that would be the only thing he would be winning this year.
Williams have continued their fine form to the season. In their previous race in Germany, Lord George Russell managed to finish 12th! Not only that but he got the fastest spitfire pitstop in Hungary!! Just brilliant, Im lost for words. They just keep getting better.
Williams great performance has panic spread amongst the Mercedes crew. Rumours are abound that special meetings have been convened amongst drivers, pitstop crew and mangers that they must Luftwaffe against this. In doing so they have been spraying the Williams car when it drives past them in the paddock and giving the Williams drivers evil eyes.
Kubica von Ickyflex has complained ‘ they are leaving things in the middle of the paddock to slow us down and then they just stare at us, why can’t they just be good neighbors..?’
Mclaren have been impressive. Their lead engineer ingeniously has managed to decrease drag flow by polishing the car using a old Japanese shoe shine technique.
A local reported reached out for a discussion… ‘Its rather brilliant really… who would have thought by reading beyond.ca and watching a old Japanese shoe shine video that we would have managed to decrease drag..? Its brilliant when you think about it’..
When asked about how they improved their reliability. The engineer let out a short smile, looked into the distance and became all teary eyed. “It was all about going back to basics. We needed a break, so me and my wife took a small holiday in BC. We needed to work on our marriage too, the stress of work and her eating my head all the time was too much. One day we were out on a drive, my wife was becoming agitated. She was staring to the left and looking with such envy. I asked ‘what is it my love?’. She suddenly snapped at me and pointed through the window ‘How is this possible..?!’. As I turned my head and what I could only describe at first was a light blue box gliding past. It was a old Honda CRV. She screamed that’s impossible. I looked over at the driver, a seasoned veteran driver not of this land. I started to sweat, I punched the gas but it was too late. As I waited for the engine to kick in, the CRV took off. It was such a sight to behold.
I sat back in awe and thought 'how was this possible?'
Then it hit me. I turned the car around, my wife scream at me ‘what are you doing!’. I yelled at her… it’s the K series in the Honda!!, that’s the answer to the reliability problems in the Mclaren!! We have had the answer all along!!!
I rushed and spoke to our engineers at Honda. They struggled to find the blueprints on the 2002 as it was so long ago and most of the engineers that worked on that car has long died. All but alast one…
We found him meditating on mount Fuji.
Ferrari made a fightback in Germany, one of my sources tried to approach Vettle about the race. His response under his breath was ‘Do not underestimate the power of the Third Reice’ before mumbling to himself, letting out a haughty laugh and running away like a madman.
We turned to LeClerc who was sitting in the background munching on some nuggests. We asked what is he dipping those into? To which he replied ‘Duck sauce…., Duck Sauce baby’..
Belgian GP starts 7.10am Sunday..
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Originally Posted by 2Legit2Quit
