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Toxic workplace culture - bullying and harrassment - Beyond.ca - Car Forums

View Poll Results: If you faced a toxic work culture of bullying and harrassment, what did you do?

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  • Rely on your own resiliency and stay even if the culture doesn't change

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  • Bring it to HR

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Thread: Toxic workplace culture - bullying and harrassment

  1. #1
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    Default Toxic workplace culture - bullying and harrassment

    I thought I'd poll our Beyonders on this topic. Having worked with alot of clients who experienced bullying or harassment in the military and RCMP, as well as having seen/faced these challenges myself in the workplace, just wanted to see if any of you guys had stories to share about toxic work cultures, whether it's with managers or otherwise.

    It's a huge impact to people's physical and mental wellbeing and unfortunately, literature shows that not only are organizations fairly shoddy at sniffing out bad managers, they are also frequently willing to turn a blind eye to it as long as things are still rolling along as usual.

    Doesn't have to be just managers, I just think that as influential persons in the workplace they naturally have more ability to engage in these types of behaviours with less chance of repercussion.

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    It's pretty bad in construction, particularly between the superintendents and engineers/coordinators.

    If you don't have the grit to be called names, teased or belittled in junior and intermediate roles - probably not the industry for you. Not that I agree with it, but it seems to be the way things are across several companies I've worked with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BavarianBeast View Post
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    It's pretty bad in construction, particularly between the superintendents and engineers/coordinators.

    If you don't have the grit to be called names, teased or belittled in junior and intermediate roles - probably not the industry for you. Not that I agree with it, but it seems to be the way things are across several companies I've worked with.
    I actually had this exact same conversation this week, comparing Construction to O&G. Yelling at people to get stuff done is very much common practice in construction. It's gotten slightly better over the years but it is still very prevalent on job sites.

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    Toxicity happens in all industries, but some are way worse than others. Many people also confuse non PC culture with 'toxicity', which is not the same at all.

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    I had issues in a previous position with some admin assistant talking to me trying to be 'one of the guys'.

    She saw my resume and liked the formatting so much she actually responded with "SPLOOSH" like she actually wet her panties. She would be in meetings with senior execs and make comments like "Well fuck me sideways." Shit that would get a guy #MeToo' ed instantly. Needless to say, I made official complaints about it and they responded with 'Oh yeah she's just like that.' I made sure to backup emails and everything related in case shit went south or I got canned for no good reason.

    I also had instances of Sales guys losing their shit when I spoke directly with their customers.
    Stupidity is a disease we all have, it's like a form of brain herpes. Outbreaks will occasionally occur.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BavarianBeast View Post
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    It's pretty bad in construction, particularly between the superintendents and engineers/coordinators.

    If you don't have the grit to be called names, teased or belittled in junior and intermediate roles - probably not the industry for you. Not that I agree with it, but it seems to be the way things are across several companies I've worked with.
    For sure. My philosophy is that it's unfortunate but we also live somewhere called the real world where there's a myriad of personalities, habits, and motivations.

    Protections aren't always available even if it relates to basic rights like dignity and respect. Bottom line is you can't force people to respect you but you can temper your resiliency and come out stronger in any environment.

    I've seen alot of friends and colleagues burn out over the years and leave out of frustration, particularly where there's a power differential. Bad managers will do anything from play favorites to withhold opportunities to outright being disrespectful, and overall impact the organizational bottom line at the expense of serving their own ego. Surprisingly, HR doesn't give a shit but it's also because victims don't know how to fight back effectively.

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    For companies that are large enough to have written company values, if the word "respect" doesn't appear on a list of company values, I'd question how the leaders treat employees, as it really comes from the top.

    An IT SVP/CIO for a major energy company I used to work for had a reputation for calling people names/belittling people to make things happen. It created a culture of fear. When the new COO took over, that particular individual was walked out. I heard recently that that COO (who is now the CEO) without using names, referred to that individual in a recent company wide town hall about harassment in the workplace, and how the ethics hotline used to be full of complaints about that particular individual.

    My personal exp with workplace bullying was at said company above... I had a Director cut me off during a meeting and dismissed my recommendation. The room was full of GMs and Directors who quickly put him in his place with .... "Your employee badge has a value on it you need to be refreshed about: Respect. Being our best. Giving our best. ". It was then reported up to the VP level and HR - they did not mess around and took it seriously. 10/10 in how that company deals with bullying (at least in my case).

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    I had an interesting time at my first new job in my career, downtown. Turns out the manager was a the micromanager of micromanagers. She was good at her job but clearly OCD - also highly intelligent and educated.

    I was on probation of course, so I kept quiet about the, literally verbal abuse, daily. I was intruding in HER department and that Im subpar and I should be moved into filing or something demeaning, was the basic attitude. She was making stuff up to complain about.

    I started, slowly collecting evidence (emails, documents) - after 3 months and 1 day (probation over), I approached HR (they actually cared) with these issues - and while they were aware of past problems with this person, I was the only one to make it official.

    She got called into the Presidents' office and was definitely offended. We had an HR meeting and I laid out my evidence of mistreatment and she was completely owned - I mean stonewalled, like this is 100% your problem.

    I asked for a transfer and got a better position and an immediate raise.

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    @hampstor

    That sounds absolutely amazing. Having others who are lateral to the toxic individual and standing up for the values is definitely an advantage. I wish that happens for more people.

    These toxic individuals sometimes have narcissistic personalities, are intelligent, and have very good impression management skills so they tend to engage in these behaviours behind closed doors or only when superiors aren't around.

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    Lets put it this way, many O&Gs are still vintage style firms with 70's & 80's "outcome" driven mentalities with only tall white male patriarchy in Senior Leadership... who use Resource economic tides to drive a culture of fear uncertainty and doubt.

    Handshake and sweetheart deals

    Then when they are survey'd low for Employee Engagement... they bomb, then go out and pay for a better grade (true story) - "what place would you like to be this year out of top 20 employers"?

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    You can sue the company for workplace bullying. That alone wakes up a lot of companies.

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    Quote Originally Posted by suntan View Post
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    You can sue the company for workplace bullying. That alone wakes up a lot of companies.
    The problem is the good ones make it hard to build a case, and microaggressions alone won't get you far. Especially when everyone knows they are in a precarious position and the company will count on you choosing to feel lucky you have a job over choosing to rock the boat. And once they get away with one thing they'll come up with other ways to fuck you.
    Last edited by zieg; 10-31-2019 at 01:54 PM.
    dv/dt

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    I've left two companies in the past 24 months due to toxicity and bullying. The most recent was a landscape construction company. Small family biz. Absolutely no oversight or consequences for the young family members. Nepotism at its finest. The employee turn there was nuts due to the environment. Its the only company I just walked out on in my career. Money just isn't worth if you're miserable every day and ownership doesn't want to make any changes.
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    In the last large corporation I worked for, the toxicity started right at the top. That person could have their arm around you for a photo op while you could feel their other hand digging a knife into your back. The toxicity in that corporation was a large part of why I resigned after 26.5 years, probably one of the best choices I ever did for my health and mental well being.
    Will fuck off, again.

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    My last company was so toxic. Finger pointing within management, hiring people not right for the job, but are a drinking buddy of the VPs. Also our group (technical group) would not be considered for any promotion just based on what we started as. I also took a lot of abuse from many project managers and upper management throughout my career there. leaving was the best feeling.

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    When I first started my career I was in an accounts payable role which seems to attract the WORST managers as the job sucks but still has to get done. The manager was a total cow who loved nepotism, bullying, etc. And if it was a smaller year on bonuses, would track employee Internet use, coffee break time, etc for months to have an excuse to shift pay to her favourite employees. It prompted me to find a better job, go back to school and never get stuck in a role like that again.

    After I left, she ended up dying of a routine illness due to her poor general health, I’m not one to believe in karma but the world gets things right once in a while.
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    I was a victim of a toxic mid-level manager at the City of Edmonton. I finally couldn't take it anymore and resigned my position, moved into the private sector. This lady was a certified nutcase. She would assign you as a "project manager" but then micromanage the project and stall it out causing it to be a complete failure. Then she would blame you for the failed project. She did this on one of my projects where we had a sole source agreement with a contractor. She refused to green light any of the work because the estimates were "too expensive" then threw me under the bus when the director asked why basically no field construction had been done. She held my raises hostage by giving me a poor yearly review but then only gave it verbally and refused to put it in writing. That was the last straw for me. Went to HR and they informed me that she was under investigation that went nowhere and she is still working there. Conveniently the sole source contract has gone tits up and her perferred vendor is getting multi-millions in construction and maintenance work even though they were operating out of a residential garage. You cant make this shit up. After I left she installed a spy cam in the open concept office to spy on her subordinates without their knowledge. Someone found it and reported her. She's still working there in the same role...
    Tap, Rack, BANG!

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    Quote Originally Posted by rx7boi View Post
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    @hampstor
    These toxic individuals sometimes have narcissistic personalities, are intelligent, and have very good impression management skills so they tend to engage in these behaviours behind closed doors or only when superiors aren't around.
    Yup. And it is also the reason why it is so difficult to get these people to leave. Very manipulative behavior that is noticed on ground level and creates a toxic environment for everyone. You know those people that almost everyone hates once they know who they really are but yet they're still around? Yeah that person.

    Interesting to hear these stories, but not surprised. As the common saying goes: Most people leave their job not because of the company itself, but their managers or direct reports.

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    It's a lot like the frog in hot water analogy.
    Throw the frog into boiling water and it'll GTFO. Turn up the heat ever so slightly and it will slowly boil, and die.

    I was a place like that for 8 years. Great in the beginning and ever so slowly turned more and more toxic. By the time I left, i walked into the office every with anxiety.
    I would hear the one senior manager typing an email (angry typer) and literally would count to 5 to see if I was "it". It was like he had a day where you were his targer, then someone else would disagree wth him and they would be it'. We called it "whack-a-mole" day; who was going to be the dummy for the day. That's when someone cranked the heat up in the pot of boiling water. the new manager came in like a bulldozer.

    Even though you could feel the culture changing, I still stuck it out, by year 6 i wasn't unhappy but didn't love being there. What made me go in each day was I loved what i did. I would occasionally get requests on LinkedIn about opportunities but would not act on them.
    More and more work piled on and by the time i left I was working weekends and 7-7 everyday, plus having to answer emails at 10pm (and being thrown under the bus in a group distributed email); plus having the new mirco-manager, and no support from my direct manager or the staff under me; then it was time to throw in the towel. The general message when I left on the floor was "I was unable to change how i worked"

    My manager i reported to was a formal complaint nightmare waiting to happen, but everyone dismissed his behavior as "typical". He would make sexual jokes, racist jokes, and went so far to slur someone (I then complained about that and the highers up told certain groups that there were people who were sensitive to certain language). so the tone at the top allowed this.
    I was so embarrassed when we had summer students, they thought the way he acted was awesome and they laughed - but this is not how normal business operates (at least I hope not).

    So when this job came knocking on my door, I took it.
    Where I landed, i wouldn't say the work culture is toxic but there in an underlying ick. Not all parts of the company are like this, the dept where I am for sure.
    Last edited by nickyh; 11-01-2019 at 09:17 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zieg View Post
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    The problem is the good ones make it hard to build a case, and microaggressions alone won't get you far. Especially when everyone knows they are in a precarious position and the company will count on you choosing to feel lucky you have a job over choosing to rock the boat. And once they get away with one thing they'll come up with other ways to fuck you.
    I dunno, you have two years to file a claim, the last thing a company wants is an asshole bully testifying, they'll just pay you out.

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