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Thread: Cancer - I Have It

  1. #1
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    Default Cancer - I Have It

    I want to preface this post by saying I am not posting for your pity or sympathies. I'm posting because this forum is full of good dudes (mostly dudes) and those dudes have girlfriends/wives/partners. I'm hoping by posting, you'll share this with those women in your life (moms, aunts, sisters, cousins, friends, friends with benefits).

    January 2019 I wasn't feeling well. Something was off on my left lower abdomen and I just couldn't pinpoint what it was. I went to my GP who started ordering tests. From January thru to March I went for all the things. X-ray, CT, MRI, blood, piss, shit, PAP (x2), biopsies (x2). Everything came back normal. There was nothing wrong with me. To say I was frustrated was an understatement. I thought I was going crazy.

    My GP ends up referring me to a gynecologist who scheduled me in right away. The Dr I saw decided right away that this was above his pay grade and referred me to a super specialist who deals with chronic pain for women. This Dr pushed. He advocated for me and got me in with this specialist in April. Normally, to get in to see a Dr of this caliber, it's a 8 month wait. He's that specialized and talented.

    I head into the specialists appointment hoping for some good news. We sat down and went through all of the negative results and he said "If you and your husband don't want kids, let's do a hysterectomy. Based on all the exams thus far, there is no reason for you to be feeling this way." He did a physical, checked everything, did one more PAP to be sure and said "I agree with the other Dr's. There's nothing here."

    So here I was - half stoked to have a game plan, half terrified to be having a hysterectomy at 35. It's a big deal guys. It's like cutting one of your balls off and still feeling ok about agreeing to a surgery to cut your ball off. Get the half and half fear? It's real.

    Two weeks go by and I don't have a surgical date. I get put on bedrest because I can barely make it to the washroom from all the pain. So I call. The specialists staff said - we will call you when we have a date. Fast forward to the last week of May. I can't function without taking painkillers - so I call again. I demand to see the specialist and the nurse gets me in for a five minute chat that day.

    The problem was the availability of operating room time. He could only get me in for October (which was a solid fuck no) based on availability. However, he said if I write a formal complaint to Alberta Health, they will look into it. May 27 I wrote a well composed letter to AHS. Tuesday May 28 they called and asked for two days to review. Thursday May 30th they called and said I should have a date shortly. Friday May 31 I was called and told that my surgery will be Monday June 1.

    Holy shitballs! Ok!

    Monday afternoon we head into South Health. I do all the pre-op things, change, get escorted to the operating room and lay down on the table. They knock me out and the next thing I know, I'm awake in the recovery room. Feeling pretty good, nurses taking excellent care of me and then they wheel me to my hospital room.

    I'm laying there for ten seconds and my husband walks in the room. He looks like death. I say to him "What's wrong?"

    He looks at me and says:

    "You have cancer."

    "What? What the fuck are you talking about? I just had surgery?" I said back

    "You didn't have the surgery. The Dr kept you under and ran tests. You have advanced cancer and are being transferred to Tom Baker in twenty minutes." He could barely get the words out thru the tears and I could barely see him thru mine.

    The Dr came in at this point, realizing that my husband had beat him to the room and that he was the one who told me. The Dr was mortified that he didn't get there first.

    He went on to explain that when he went to do the surgery, it was overwhelmingly obvious that there was cancer. It was not there 8 weeks prior when he did the exams. It was not there 4 months prior during all my tests.

    We then went to the Tom Baker that night and I was inpatient for the week while they did tests, surgeries and tattoos for treatment.

    I went from no cancer to stage 3B cervical cancer within 8 weeks. I did everything right. I did the tests, I went for paps, I did the CT's, I was careful.

    It wasn't enough.

    If I hadn't pushed, the oncologist stated i'd "be dead by October."

    Guys - get your women checked. Show them this thread. Talk to them. Have them DM me if they have questions. If they're not on here - they can DM me on insta. My username is ellemcfearsin. Please, Please - advocate for yourself if you're not feeling well. Do not let the system dictate how you feel or don't feel.

    I've been in treatment since June and am hopefully getting the all clear this week. Please don't let the women in your life be like me. Get checked. Advocate. Push - if you're not feeling well.
    Last edited by dannie; 11-12-2019 at 12:04 PM.

  2. #2
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    Holy fuck.

    1) Get better and be strong. I hope you receive the all-clear you're waiting for.

    2) Sent this to my wife.

    Thank you for sharing.

  3. #3
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    Damn. I noticed your absence on the forums and hoped it was cause life was busy.

    Hope you get the thumbs up you're waiting for and looking forward to changing the thread title to "I had it"

  4. #4
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    Thanks for sharing this. Super scary! Awareness makes all the difference. I hope everything here on out goes good for you

  5. #5
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    Good lord! best of luck on this road ahead.

    Similar situation happened to my mother in law, from zero cancer to stage 3 breast cancer in 3 months...

    Stay strong, and keep fighting.

  6. #6
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    Hoping the best for you and recovery. Sharing this to my wife. Thank you for sharing!
    Watch the cat for different holiday hats!

  7. #7
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    Stay strong. Get better.
    Quote Originally Posted by heavyfuel View Post
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    That's why I just say I have a 4" dick and lift weights to make up for it.

  8. #8
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    Wow that is devastating.. And at the same time, it sounds so common. Where you get misdiagnosed or you have to wait and wait and wait to see someone. And something that could have been cured is pushed too far because of the wait times. I truly wish the best of luck to you with your treatments.

    I have been dealing with cancer with my mom and dad for the last 3 years and I highly recommend to reach out to the support services that AHS offers if you or family members are having a tough time dealing with this. I have been seeing psychologists and doing group therapy (ACT) with the cross cancer in Edmonton and I have found it extremely helpful.

  9. #9
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    Good read. Always be here till ur full return

  10. #10
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    That's terrible to hear, I saw some of your posts on IG before I dropped off so had suspicions. Thoughts with you, look forward to you getting better and us doing dinner again!
    Cos...

  11. #11
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    Wow sorry to hear, hope you have a good strong recovery!

  12. #12
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    Dannie, thank you for taking the time to share your story and to encourage that all important term - advocate.

    I've had more than enough cancer in my life - let's be honest, any cancer is too much cancer - but have come to see the importance of really having to push to get the proper tests, diagnoses and care.

    A friend was diagnosed with cancer when we were only 18... Fortunately his family was able to afford a second opinion at a top-ranked clinic in the US, where in a matter of days they were able to diagnose his cancer and found it to be doubling in size every 3 days. He was successfully treated, but the thing that always stood out to me was that if he had waited to be processed through the local system, his prognosis may not have been the same.

    Another friend's wife was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and her story sounds very similar to Dannie's. The doctors all disregarded her concerns simply because she didn't fit the profile of a breast cancer patient, mostly that she was young and she breastfed, but she knew something just wasn't "right". It took repeated requests and pushing the medical professionals to finally get a correct diagnosis.

    My wife and I are now in the middle of the similar situation - her GP has some concerns, but getting a referral to a specialist that will get you in within a reasonable window of time is nearly impossible when you don't fit the preconceived mould of what a cancer patient should be. In a perverse sort of way, we're fortunate to have seen our friends already deal with similar situations and we now know the importance to self-advocating for additional testing.

    I cannot echo Dannie's sentiments strongly enough - to make sure that all of us advocate for our health and the health of our loved ones. No one knows your body better than yourself and you know if something's wrong. Don't let someone else shrug it off, or disregard your concerns. You need to push for tests until there's absolute certainty.

    All the best, Dannie and thank you for this!

  13. #13
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    Hang in there. Stay strong.

  14. #14
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    Wonderful post dannie, thank you for sharing it.

    Here's to getting your all clear, best wishes!!!
    Originally posted by SJW
    Once again another useless post by JRSCOOLDUDE.
    Originally posted by snowcat
    Don't let the e-thugs and faggots get to you when they quote your posts and write stupid shit.

  15. #15
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    Thanks for sharing this.

    I second this. Get it checked out.
    My uncle died of cancer a few years back. He died too young. They caught part of it when he was in India back in the early 90's. But they did not have enough money to go back to the doctor as they were needed the money to come to Canada. They did some treatment here, but it was too far gone.

    My bro in law had surgery and survived cancer last year.

    A friend of mine, also from the UK. His dad died from lung cancer last week. He did not get it checked out. When he did it was too late.

    I got a text two weeks ago. My one of best friends from Uni was diagnosed with breast cancer in London. She just had surgery last Monday. It went well but they are keeping her in and starting Chemo to make sure it has not spread elsewhere. (She was asking me on the phone the other day, 'can i still get life insurance..?'.. her home is not covered and her partner does not have any either. I had to say for the moment... 'ummm nooooo').

    In my last job (life insurance), we would look at the stats. Its pretty high.

    We are one place in the world where the health care is really good. I would go far as saying its much better than that of the UK. So use it.

    Hope you a speedy recovery Dannie.

  16. #16
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    Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to the all clear!

    Quote Originally Posted by D'z Nutz View Post
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    Hope you get the thumbs up you're waiting for and looking forward to changing the thread title to "I had it"
    Yes! Can't wait to see the "had" in thread title.
    ---

  17. #17
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    thanks for sharing this and looking forward for your update once you have defeated this.

    makes you realize that cancer does not pick age, gender and can disguise as a common symptom

  18. #18
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    I wish you a full recovery and have shared this as well

  19. #19
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    Stay positive! My dad was first diagnosed with advanced lung cancer at 72. They gave him maybe 3 months to live but has survived till now. Cancer shrunk and went into remission

  20. #20
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    Go beat cancer you mother of dragons.

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