I want to preface this post by saying I am not posting for your pity or sympathies. I'm posting because this forum is full of good dudes (mostly dudes) and those dudes have girlfriends/wives/partners. I'm hoping by posting, you'll share this with those women in your life (moms, aunts, sisters, cousins, friends, friends with benefits).
January 2019 I wasn't feeling well. Something was off on my left lower abdomen and I just couldn't pinpoint what it was. I went to my GP who started ordering tests. From January thru to March I went for all the things. X-ray, CT, MRI, blood, piss, shit, PAP (x2), biopsies (x2). Everything came back normal. There was nothing wrong with me. To say I was frustrated was an understatement. I thought I was going crazy.
My GP ends up referring me to a gynecologist who scheduled me in right away. The Dr I saw decided right away that this was above his pay grade and referred me to a super specialist who deals with chronic pain for women. This Dr pushed. He advocated for me and got me in with this specialist in April. Normally, to get in to see a Dr of this caliber, it's a 8 month wait. He's that specialized and talented.
I head into the specialists appointment hoping for some good news. We sat down and went through all of the negative results and he said "If you and your husband don't want kids, let's do a hysterectomy. Based on all the exams thus far, there is no reason for you to be feeling this way." He did a physical, checked everything, did one more PAP to be sure and said "I agree with the other Dr's. There's nothing here."
So here I was - half stoked to have a game plan, half terrified to be having a hysterectomy at 35. It's a big deal guys. It's like cutting one of your balls off and still feeling ok about agreeing to a surgery to cut your ball off. Get the half and half fear? It's real.
Two weeks go by and I don't have a surgical date. I get put on bedrest because I can barely make it to the washroom from all the pain. So I call. The specialists staff said - we will call you when we have a date. Fast forward to the last week of May. I can't function without taking painkillers - so I call again. I demand to see the specialist and the nurse gets me in for a five minute chat that day.
The problem was the availability of operating room time. He could only get me in for October (which was a solid fuck no) based on availability. However, he said if I write a formal complaint to Alberta Health, they will look into it. May 27 I wrote a well composed letter to AHS. Tuesday May 28 they called and asked for two days to review. Thursday May 30th they called and said I should have a date shortly. Friday May 31 I was called and told that my surgery will be Monday June 1.
Holy shitballs! Ok!
Monday afternoon we head into South Health. I do all the pre-op things, change, get escorted to the operating room and lay down on the table. They knock me out and the next thing I know, I'm awake in the recovery room. Feeling pretty good, nurses taking excellent care of me and then they wheel me to my hospital room.
I'm laying there for ten seconds and my husband walks in the room. He looks like death. I say to him "What's wrong?"
He looks at me and says:
"You have cancer."
"What? What the fuck are you talking about? I just had surgery?" I said back
"You didn't have the surgery. The Dr kept you under and ran tests. You have advanced cancer and are being transferred to Tom Baker in twenty minutes." He could barely get the words out thru the tears and I could barely see him thru mine.
The Dr came in at this point, realizing that my husband had beat him to the room and that he was the one who told me. The Dr was mortified that he didn't get there first.
He went on to explain that when he went to do the surgery, it was overwhelmingly obvious that there was cancer. It was not there 8 weeks prior when he did the exams. It was not there 4 months prior during all my tests.
We then went to the Tom Baker that night and I was inpatient for the week while they did tests, surgeries and tattoos for treatment.
I went from no cancer to stage 3B cervical cancer within 8 weeks. I did everything right. I did the tests, I went for paps, I did the CT's, I was careful.
It wasn't enough.
If I hadn't pushed, the oncologist stated i'd "be dead by October."
Guys - get your women checked. Show them this thread. Talk to them. Have them DM me if they have questions. If they're not on here - they can DM me on insta. My username is ellemcfearsin. Please, Please - advocate for yourself if you're not feeling well. Do not let the system dictate how you feel or don't feel.
I've been in treatment since June and am hopefully getting the all clear this week. Please don't let the women in your life be like me. Get checked. Advocate. Push - if you're not feeling well.