2019 Beer Advent Calendar Review

[ExtraSlow]

I'm going to sue you for intellectual property theft, because you clearly transcribed my inner monologue verbatim without even a cursory attempt to make changes.
You thieving bastard.

[speedog]

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I'm going to sue you for intellectual property theft, because you clearly transcribed my inner monologue verbatim without even a cursory attempt to make changes.
You thieving bastard.

Hey, hey, are you now saying you're intellectual?

[ExtraSlow]

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Hey, hey, are you now saying you're intellectual?

That one cut me deep man...

[ThePenIsMightier]

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I'm going to sue you for intellectual property theft, because you clearly transcribed my inner monologue verbatim without even a cursory attempt to make changes.
You thieving bastard.

I have a simple goal and it's to unload enough Rep that I can reward this Praise From Caesar.
I believe that the algorithm allows negative reps to count as dishing some out "... Before you give more Rep to ExtraSlow, again". So, brace yourselves political nonsense leftorium trolls on my ignore list! I am in a mission from God!
Let's make some red dots!

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 10: SULTANA GOLD Blonde Ale
From Lake Of The Woods Brewing Company in Kenora, Ontario.

Shut up and drink me. Why is your mouth open and words are spilling out of it instead of this delicious, golden nectar pouring into it at an alarming pace?
This might be the best beer I've had in the past five years. It's maybe even better than Analog-78 Kolsch and maybe even Munich Gold.
Un-Fucking-Believable. No words. It's everything that I exactly want from a light coloured Ale or Lager/Pilsner. Delicious without being boring and without any specific flavour hogging the stage but complex in that there are many subtle flavours that all just come together.
An instant favourite and I bet I can't even buy it, here. Fuck!
You know what? I think it's pretty close to 1516 from Okanagan Spring. I wish I had more of it so I could put my finger on what's making it so good.

If someone has seen this anywhere, please advise. I'll check AB Liquor Connect.

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 11: COSMIC CREAM ALE
From Cameron Brewing in Oakville, Ontario.

Quite good but it's no Sultana Gold... My life is now a vacuous chasm of turbidity without it.
Umm, I think it was better than pretty good. I'd probably recommend it but there's not much special about it.
Definitely nothing objectionable, at all.

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 12: METROPOLITAN PORTER
From Market Brewing in Newmarket, Ontario.

Time keeps flying with twelve pints down my dirty gullet hole, already!
This is a very nice porter for a couple of reasons. It's not like gravy and it's not like everclear. It's honestly a little more like a stout but without the nutty/toasted flavour. I love a good, thick 8.5% porter from time to time but it's certainly not something you could put in regular rotation. With this one, you could because it's a gentle flavour and only 5%.



Let's see how the second half goes!

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 13: CORVUS LINGONBERRY LIME GOSE
From Ravens Brewing in Abbotsford, BC.

This "Gold Award 2018" winner is pretty accurately, fucking terrible.
It's as pink as the side label and stinks. I don't know what a "Lingonberry" is but if it tastes like this, I'd buy expensive poison to kill it like a weed of one sprang up in my garden. It's like a radler, but sour and awful while at least still manages 4.5% alcohol and not the pointless 2% you get in a $6 radler.
The label is a stupid sticker and doesn't even list ingredients. Fuck this fuckin shit!
Punishing to drink - I actually poured the last ~1.5oz out which is amazing.
Wow. So bad.

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 14: PEACH SOUR
From Railyard Brewing in Calgary.

OK, so we're onto the sour beer. This sounds pretty weird and has become quite fashionable but I think I've figured out why. With hoppy beer (which is bitter) becoming so prevalent the past few years, I assume that folks figured something similar, yet at the opposite end of that taste spectrum would also be popular.

So, I haven't been paying attention while this phenomenon has developed but here we are with this foul sounding, peachy nonsense.

But, fuck me - it's actually pretty good! The peach is key to balancing this out and it's nice & subtle, which is cool. It's a pretty nice beer with a distinct sour flavour with it and it turns out, that's ok. Apparently, these are very tricky to make without completely fucking them up. The ingredients say there is lactose added. Strange.

I'm not going to seek this out because I can easily picture having a few of these making my salivary glands go nuclear, but it was a long way from the shit show I was expecting. I'd order this at a restaurant.

Maybe it's time for some of you to dip a toe into trying a sour.

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 15: JURASSIC IPA
From Cameron Brewing in Oakville, Ontario.

With 68 IBU, we should be looking at overly hopped nonsense. The first sip tastes great, and then, wham! Hoorrible hops have poisoned this beyond any recognizable flavour. Even the 6.8% alcohol is tasteless.
This is exactly the kind of horse shit that is way too prevalent in the micro brewing industry. I've been sick of it since it started and my only salvation is I know these twisty-moustache hipster knobs are so fickle, they'll abandon this before long.
This beer fucking sucks.

[speedog]

Is the sink indicative of something?

And btw, don't hold back, tell us what you really think. Don't worry about hurting the feelings of the beyond hipster members.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Is the sink indicative of something?

And btw, don't hold back, tell us what you really think. Don't worry about hurting the feelings of the beyond hipster members.

No. It's just been a convenient place to photograph a few times. I thought about throwing that awful one a couple days ago into the toilet for a photo, but I didn't.

I'm not worried. Hipsters don't have feelings.
Isn't it ironic?

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 16: GEORGETOWN BROWN Strong Ale
From Canmore Brewing (not the same as Grizzly Paw)

Let's get this train back on the tracks! Brown Ales are always good. A great choice for a daily, after work beer and they go great with food. It's hard to sit down to eight of them, but that's no fault.
This one is no exception. I've never had it before but it's a great beer. A little heavier on the caramel end than the nutty end, which is fine. It's pretty high test at 6% but that's not overpowering.
Good stuff!

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 17: BIG ROCK TRADITIONAL ALE
From Big Rock in Calgary (and now in Vancouver and Etobicoke, too!)

It's Trad... Who doesn't know what this tastes like? Another delicious Brown Ale that's oddly so much better on draft than bottled/canned. It's about as common as Molson Canadian so I think it's a bit of an odd choice for an Advent calendar, but it's really good, so I ain't complaining.
I still really hate the cans that they switched to. The entire top of them peels off like a fruit cup.
Lame. Still buy all the time at pubs.

[ExtraSlow]

Fruit cup can is best can. Fight me.

[Brent.ff]

wait they're pop topping all their beers now?! hello AGD!

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Fruit cup can is best can. Fight me.

This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote

wait they're pop topping all their beers now?! hello AGD!

These cans make Baby Jesus cry. Celebrating these cans within 10 days of Christmas is an act of heresy that guarantees coal in your stocking and locusts in your yard.

They also clearly cause climate change and carbon coated footprints because a larger amount of aluminum doesn't end up being recycled. You're basically setting Australia on fire.

Plus, who wouldn't want a tab that transforms from a Second Class Lever into a First Class Lever and mitigates the risk of discarded sharp tabs.
Obviously watch entire video because it's incredible, but the tab lesson starts at about 08:50.

[ThePenIsMightier]

DAY 18: ALPENGLOW WINTER ALE
From Grizzly Paw in Canmore.

Back to a properly tabbed can as we hit the 75% mark of this journey! Fuck! One week until Christmas... I better get that slutty spouse some sort of giftamahjig.

Now this is what I'm talkin about for an Advent beer calendar! Strong, dark and handsome. I want this beer to pull my hair but still tell me I'm pretty. It's chock full of alcohol and flavour without anything dominating. Super drinkable. A little shy on the carbonation, but I'm not going to burn down the brewery over it.
I would definitely buy this as a holiday treat and thankfully, Grizzly Paw is widely available around here and makes for a great quick trip if you wanna visit them in Canmore. I'm OG as shit, there with my ceramic stein. I miss the Angry Burger.
Buy this immediately.

[asp integra]

Loving the reviews! You should have people deliver random beers to your house so we can read up more after the advent calendar is done!

[arcticcat522]

^ what he said. Well job with the words!