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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Doesn't work for me. I am at least a three-a-day shittr.
    Stop eating at Taco Bell every day?

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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    So yea, no more bidets for me. Anyone tell me wtf I did wrong? haha
    LOL, oscillation and pressure control FTW

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    Quote Originally Posted by tha_bandit View Post
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    LOL, oscillation and pressure control FTW
    I had it on the lowest setting to start, and it still fucked up my asshole. Cranked it up to max and it was like a car wash pressure washer right up the anus.
    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
    I have gone above and beyond what I should rightfully have to do to protect my good name

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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I had it on the lowest setting to start, and it still fucked up my asshole. Cranked it up to max and it was like a car wash pressure washer right up the anus.
    Some people like that sort of thing. Lol
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yolobimmer View Post
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    guessing who I might be, psychologizing me with your non existent degree.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    Unless it's a 2-in-1 enema/bidet.
    It's Vegas so you never know.
    Has your opinion changed from this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    Bidet isn't as clean. Best way is to wipe, then go in the tub with the warm water from the tap spraying down with enough pressure, then you squat down butt facing the tap, and use your hand lathered with bar soap to clean your ass and use a cupping motion to redirect the rushing water to rinse off your clean sphincter and butt region.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    Stop eating at Taco Bell every day?
    Actually. It is the healthy stuff like broccoli, beans, brussel sprouts, and bananas. Beano has no effect.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    Razor sharp stream right on the asshole just didn't feel right.....

    So yea, no more bidets for me. Anyone tell me wtf I did wrong? haha

    Sounds like you might have hit the enema function versus just wash. It's a different button on my remote.
    iZen 5 is what I have and you can control temp and pressure to avoid such problems.

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  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by phreezee View Post
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    Sounds like you might have hit the enema function versus just wash.
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  9. #29
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    Why is there even an enema option?

    I will have to check next time I'm in Vegas. Honestly, I don't remember it being this complicated. It's literally on/off, temperature, pressure, and the always hilarious asshole or vag mode. At least I didn't choose that one, god know what damage I would've done to my dick in vag high pressure mode.
    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
    I have gone above and beyond what I should rightfully have to do to protect my good name

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by jwslam View Post
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    Has your opinion changed from this?
    I was trying to find that thread where I posted about how I clean my ass, but failed.

    I haven't used a bidet recently so I don't know? I only ever used it once in my life but I imagine without any soap, it won't feel as clean to me. I don't think I would ever use a public/hotel bidet; that sounds nasty as well.
    My entire life revolves around only doing a #2 when there is a bathtub available. So the only places I poop is at my house, parent's house when I'm there, or hotel. Been doing this all my life with only maybe 15-20 emergencies that I was forced to use a public place.

    The question is if I am willing to sacrifice being less clean for the convenience factor of not needing to jump into a bathtub every time I shit.
    Last edited by Disoblige; 12-11-2019 at 11:13 AM.

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    Vegas Enema. That’s not asking for a bad time at all
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yolobimmer View Post
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    guessing who I might be, psychologizing me with your non existent degree.

  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    I was trying to find that thread where I posted about how I clean my ass, but failed.

    I haven't used a bidet recently so I don't know? I only ever used it once in my life but I imagine without any soap, it won't feel as clean to me.
    Mu entire life revolves around only doing a #2 when there is a bathtub available. So the only places I poop is at my house, parent's house when I'm there, or hotel. Been doing this all my life with only maybe 15-20 emergencies that I was forced to use a public place.
    Seems like so much effort haha.

    The thread is here: https://forums.beyond.ca/threads/387...ng#post4375392

    You can click through it from jwslam's quote as well.
    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
    I have gone above and beyond what I should rightfully have to do to protect my good name

  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    I was trying to find that thread where I posted about how I clean my ass, but failed.

    I haven't used a bidet recently so I don't know? I only ever used it once in my life but I imagine without any soap, it won't feel as clean to me. I don't think I would ever use a public/hotel bidet. That sounds nasty as well.
    My entire life revolves around only doing a #2 when there is a bathtub available. So the only places I poop is at my house, parent's house when I'm there, or hotel. Been doing this all my life with only maybe 15-20 emergencies that I was forced to use a public place.

    The question is if I am willing to sacrifice being less clean for the convenience factor of not needing to jump into a bathtub every time I shit.

    You have a bath every time you shit? so like wash poop into the water you're in?

    This is so confusing...

    Bidet's weird me out for some reason... maybe i should try one..

    Edit: ok Rage's post cleared that up hahaha

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by JfuckinC View Post
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    You have a bath every time you shit? so like wash poop into the water you're in?

    This is so confusing...

    Bidet's weird me out for some reason... maybe i should try one..

    Edit: ok Rage's post cleared that up hahaha
    Haha yeah, it's not a real bath. Just a rinse with soap and water. But you're right, even when you wipe, there probably is a bit of poop particles in the bath water when you rinse. I would rinse off my feet and legs before I get out of the tub.
    It's only annoying if for some reason I need to go home during lunch to take a shit. Basically have to take off everything to shit

    I always wonder if companies see me as the ideal workhorse as an employee. I don't shit, I don't eat lunch (been unintentionally doing intermittent fasting my whole life), I don't smoke. I'm at my desk or doing work 100% of the time I'm at work. I'd be lucky to get a piss in as I barely need to pee at work too. Then there's people who takes 3-4 smoke breaks a day, takes hour lunch, takes 30 minute shits...

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by JfuckinC View Post
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    You have a bath every time you shit? so like wash poop into the water you're in?

    This is so confusing...

    Bidet's weird me out for some reason... maybe i should try one..

    Edit: ok Rage's post cleared that up hahaha
    He should try using baby wipes, Fuck I miss baby wipes now that my kids are older. So soothing after spicy Indian food.
    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
    I have gone above and beyond what I should rightfully have to do to protect my good name

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    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    Haha yeah, it's not a real bath. Just a rinse with soap and water. But you're right, even when you wipe, there probably is a bit of poop particles in the bath water when you rinse. I would rinse off my feet and legs before I get out of the tub.
    It's only annoying if for some reason I need to go home during lunch to take a shit. Basically have to take off everything to shit

    I always wonder if companies see me as the ideal workhorse as an employee. I don't shit, I don't eat lunch (been unintentionally doing intermittent fasting my whole life), I don't smoke. I'm at my desk or doing work 100% of the time I'm at work. I'd be lucky to get a piss in as I barely need to pee at work too. Then there's people who takes 3-4 smoke breaks a day, takes hour lunch, takes 30 minute shits...
    I can only assume massive amounts of cocaine are involved here
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yolobimmer View Post
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    guessing who I might be, psychologizing me with your non existent degree.

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
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    I can only assume massive amounts of cocaine are involved here
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    Originally posted by SEANBANERJEE
    I have gone above and beyond what I should rightfully have to do to protect my good name

  18. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    Haha yeah, it's not a real bath. Just a rinse with soap and water. But you're right, even when you wipe, there probably is a bit of poop particles in the bath water when you rinse. I would rinse off my feet and legs before I get out of the tub.
    It's only annoying if for some reason I need to go home during lunch to take a shit. Basically have to take off everything to shit

    I always wonder if companies see me as the ideal workhorse as an employee. I don't shit, I don't eat lunch (been unintentionally doing intermittent fasting my whole life), I don't smoke. I'm at my desk or doing work 100% of the time I'm at work. I'd be lucky to get a piss in as I barely need to pee at work too. Then there's people who takes 3-4 smoke breaks a day, takes hour lunch, takes 30 minute shits...
    Haha man that is a lot of work. I can relate. Although my aversion to taking public dumps definitely changed when I started travelling a lot. Got to go when I need to.

  19. #39
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    getting paid to shit > all.
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
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    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  20. #40
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    I mean, I prefer home plate as much as the next guy but I find it hilarious that a bathtub + soap needs to be involved. The beauty of the bidet is that you get to scrub down. Honestly, use some hand some, wipe your taint, and rise with the bidet. #boom, and you can even leave your pants on.

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