Show me your bidets

[taemo]

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How many times have you fingered yourself wiping down a drenched asshole with this method?

surprisingly I haven't had as many incidents (less than 10x in 3 years) with touching anything down there than when just cleaning with TP.
I use the jet stream and aim it only on the hole though and just move my butt to get a thorough cleaning lol. I never use the spray/mist as yeah that will drench your whole butt.

some bidets also have a fan for zero ass touching haha.

[killramos]

I am quickly learning there are only two types of people in a thread about Bidet’s...



And

[The_Rural_Juror]

The Brondell 1000 Swash (pronounced Ass-Wash?) is on sale at costco.ca. That looks like it could be a good gateway bidet.

I am only hesitating because there is no enema function. Biobidet 2000 has an enema function (strongest in the industry) and nightlight, but is a lot more money.

[speedog]

'Show me your bidets' and not a single picture of someone's bidet installed in their home. I recently worked in a new McMansion just south of the city that had 6 bathrooms and every bathroom had a bidet. Maybe there's some weird bidet/garage correlation as this house also had 2 - 3 car attached garages for a total of 6 cars that could be parked indoors. I don't have an attached garage and thus zero bidets? This home also had a $5,000 built in Bosch coffee maker among other extravagant things.

[eblend]

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'Show me your bidets' and not a single picture of someone's bidet installed in their home. I recently worked in a new McMansion just south of the city that had 6 bathrooms and every bathroom had a bidet. Maybe there's some weird bidet/garage correlation as this house also had 2 - 3 car attached garages for a total of 6 cars that could be parked indoors. I don't have an attached garage and thus zero bidets? This home also had a $5,000 built in Bosch coffee maker among other extravagant things.

Fine I will bite, since I seem to be the only one with a real full blown bidet I got the Toto Neorest 500 back in 2010, best money ever spent. Bought it online for around $2100 USD, think at the time it came out to like $3600 shipped CAD. I only shit in one toilet in the house, the one that has this puppy. Shitting anywhere else is like being a caveman as far as I am concerned haha, i travel lots and shit at work so still do it, but nothing compares to feeling clean like a bidet. Regarding using TP and fingering yourself, I don't know if you really save much toilet paper, when I use mine I follow up with TP, but I always get a good lengths and fold it over a few times, so that it doesn't disintegrate while wiping and if it comes out clean, we are good to go, if not, I sit down and move around a bit more for those extra sticky shits. The trick is to move your ass around a bit so that it coves your whole asshole while it sprays. Mine does have dryer function as well but I don't like using it, TP is a much better verifier that you got everything. On top of the usual heated seats and all the spray functions like oscillation, pulsating and heated seats, mine also warms up the water so it's warm water to ass, it tankless, and the lid auto opens when you walk up to it (and closes shortly after you leave). You can also press a button on the remote to lift the seat as well so you can take a piss like a prince. Has eco-mode as well where it learns when you usually use it and keeps the seat warm during those times only.

So why did I spend this much money on a bidet, well, wife is JDM and we go to Japan often, and I love me some bidet. We also have a costco one upstairs in my wife's bathroom which is just an attachment to a normal toiler, and that works well for her, but the few times I tried it I didn't really like it in comparison to the Toto. My mom has another cheaper model and it works as well, just isn't the same, but I would highly recommend any kind vs none at all. I have told a few of my co-workers who are building homes to get electrical plugs installed near toilet, one is Indian and understood the value right away, the other is getting it as well but he is thinking all fancy Toto's in each bathroom...that's baller. I will def have plugs installed in mine if I build again, in my house I was able to fish wires in walls to get the power in each location.

Now to clear up some misconceptions about these things. The wand doesn't go under your asshole directly, so all the poop water drips down, and the wand shoots at an angle. Mine does have auto clean so when the want retracts it sprays itself as well. I have no problem using these in public places in Japan.

Here are the pics from my house:



Remote (with flip down face for more functionality and settings:

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So yea, no more bidets for me. Anyone tell me wtf I did wrong? haha

Man that sounds rough. My guess is that some holes on that one were plugged up or whatever, and it was creating too direct of a stream, like a pressure wash. Some are definitely gentler than others and have different spray patters. Don't write them off completely, they change lives.

[ExtraSlow]

@rage2 will be only using that "soft" button from now on.

[The_Rural_Juror]

All I want to know from eblend is when he is pissing like a prince against the bidet, like Ryu and Ken shorukening each other, who wins?

[eblend]

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All I want to know from eblend is when he is pissing like a prince against the bidet, like Ryu and Ken shorukening each other, who wins?

Haha, doesn't work that way, spray won't spray unless you are sitting on the seat. Pressure sensor I think.

[OTown]

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Fine I will bite, since I seem to be the only one with a real full blown bidet I got the Toto Neorest 500 back in 2010, best money ever spent. Bought it online for around $2100 USD, think at the time it came out to like $3600 shipped CAD. I only shit in one toilet in the house, the one that has this puppy. Shitting anywhere else is like being a caveman as far as I am concerned haha, i travel lots and shit at work so still do it, but nothing compares to feeling clean like a bidet. Regarding using TP and fingering yourself, I don't know if you really save much toilet paper, when I use mine I follow up with TP, but I always get a good lengths and fold it over a few times, so that it doesn't disintegrate while wiping and if it comes out clean, we are good to go, if not, I sit down and move around a bit more for those extra sticky shits. The trick is to move your ass around a bit so that it coves your whole asshole while it sprays. Mine does have dryer function as well but I don't like using it, TP is a much better verifier that you got everything. On top of the usual heated seats and all the spray functions like oscillation, pulsating and heated seats, mine also warms up the water so it's warm water to ass, it tankless, and the lid auto opens when you walk up to it (and closes shortly after you leave). You can also press a button on the remote to lift the seat as well so you can take a piss like a prince. Has eco-mode as well where it learns when you usually use it and keeps the seat warm during those times only.

So why did I spend this much money on a bidet, well, wife is JDM and we go to Japan often, and I love me some bidet. We also have a costco one upstairs in my wife's bathroom which is just an attachment to a normal toiler, and that works well for her, but the few times I tried it I didn't really like it in comparison to the Toto. My mom has another cheaper model and it works as well, just isn't the same, but I would highly recommend any kind vs none at all. I have told a few of my co-workers who are building homes to get electrical plugs installed near toilet, one is Indian and understood the value right away, the other is getting it as well but he is thinking all fancy Toto's in each bathroom...that's baller. I will def have plugs installed in mine if I build again, in my house I was able to fish wires in walls to get the power in each location.

Now to clear up some misconceptions about these things. The wand doesn't go under your asshole directly, so all the poop water drips down, and the wand shoots at an angle. Mine does have auto clean so when the want retracts it sprays itself as well. I have no problem using these in public places in Japan.

Here are the pics from my house:



Remote (with flip down face for more functionality and settings:






Man that sounds rough. My guess is that some holes on that one were plugged up or whatever, and it was creating too direct of a stream, like a pressure wash. Some are definitely gentler than others and have different spray patters. Don't write them off completely, they change lives.

Definitely reminds me of Japan. I gotta say the trip out there really opened my eyes to how limited our toilet technology is in NA.

[speedog]

So many pretenders but only one eblend. Rep given.

[BigDL]

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Definitely reminds me of Japan. I gotta say the trip out there really opened my eyes to how limited our toilet technology is in NA.

I would agree, I miss having a bidet when I have a really bad shit. Such a nice treat especially when you are in a cold ass washroom and you sit down on the nice warm toilet instead of freezing your ass off.

[eblend]

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I would agree, I miss having a bidet when I have a really bad shit. Such a nice treat especially when you are in a cold ass washroom and you sit down on the nice warm toilet instead of freezing your ass off.

This is often the case in Japan in a few houses I stayed at. No central heating so only the main room and individual rooms have some kind of heating, hallways and bathrooms cold as hell if it's chilly out. I stayed in a one ryokan once and you sleep on the tatami mats under a thick blanket, but when you wake up was pretty damn cold, and the bathroom was just outside the room in the "shoe" area. I went out there, took a deep breath and was ready to suffer the coldness that was about to come, and that thing was freaking toasty! It was amazing haha, pretty sure there and then I decided that I must have one in my life. Just came back from Mexico...it's getting a good workout last few days

[Maxt]

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I was trying to find that thread where I posted about how I clean my ass, but failed.

I haven't used a bidet recently so I don't know? I only ever used it once in my life but I imagine without any soap, it won't feel as clean to me. I don't think I would ever use a public/hotel bidet; that sounds nasty as well.
My entire life revolves around only doing a #2 when there is a bathtub available. So the only places I poop is at my house, parent's house when I'm there, or hotel. Been doing this all my life with only maybe 15-20 emergencies that I was forced to use a public place.

The question is if I am willing to sacrifice being less clean for the convenience factor of not needing to jump into a bathtub every time I shit.

Paul Finch?

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This is often the case in Japan in a few houses I stayed at. No central heating so only the main room and individual rooms have some kind of heating, hallways and bathrooms cold as hell if it's chilly out. I stayed in a one ryokan once and you sleep on the tatami mats under a thick blanket, but when you wake up was pretty damn cold, and the bathroom was just outside the room in the "shoe" area. I went out there, took a deep breath and was ready to suffer the coldness that was about to come, and that thing was freaking toasty! It was amazing haha, pretty sure there and then I decided that I must have one in my life. Just came back from Mexico...it's getting a good workout last few days

It was funny to me the Japanese went all hardcore for the kyoto accord and wouldn't run the air conditioners when it was hot, yet they heated every room with kerosene heaters... I am surprised more people don't get gassed there the way they use those things.

[eblend]

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Paul Finch?


It was funny to me the Japanese went all hardcore for the kyoto accord and wouldn't run the air conditioners when it was hot, yet they heated every room with kerosene heaters... I am surprised more people don't get gassed there the way they use those things.

Maybe back in the day, or in the country, but my in-laws have those wall mounted AC/Heater units in each bedroom, and the main living space (kitchen/living room area) has heated floors to warm up the space, with doors closing the area away from the stairwell and the hallways. Their house was build when my wife was born, some 40 years ago, so dunno. I have never seen a kerosene heater in any of the places I have stayed, and I have been ALL OVER Japan as I go every year or two and we travel around. Maybe in those very rural farm areas that is the case, or I have been lucky and never stayed in a place with one.

[g-m]

I've absolutely seen kerosene heaters in Japan

[eblend]

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I've absolutely seen kerosene heaters in Japan

Yah I am sure they exist, I know what they look like, seem them in pictures before, never in an actual place I stayed. We are planning to stay out in the country next year in an old house, will probably have those there for sure.

[The Cosworth]

Our condo in hawaii had one. Took a bit to figure out but a nice rinse and the TP to dry was actually quite awesome. It was a properly installed power and hot water one though, so I just want to go full shebang instead of these fancy 'seats' you all have.

[Maxt]

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Maybe back in the day, or in the country, but my in-laws have those wall mounted AC/Heater units in each bedroom, and the main living space (kitchen/living room area) has heated floors to warm up the space, with doors closing the area away from the stairwell and the hallways. Their house was build when my wife was born, some 40 years ago, so dunno. I have never seen a kerosene heater in any of the places I have stayed, and I have been ALL OVER Japan as I go every year or two and we travel around. Maybe in those very rural farm areas that is the case, or I have been lucky and never stayed in a place with one.

My inlaws are city dwellers, Nagoya, they have the heaters in both their houses there. Their houses have heat pump ductless splits as well, but for some reason its all about the kerosene in winter,giving everything that slight burnt diesel odor.
https://www.pref.iwate.jp/kyouikubun...7/1007190.html

[The_Rural_Juror]

I have to say, this is life changing. Nothing like a midday ass massage to take the edge away. I wish I would have splurged on the enema model. This is like a garden hose when I need a pressure wash.

[ExtraSlow]

are people serious about the "enema mode" or is this a joke?