2019/2020 Wedding gift $$ value

[ExtraSlow]

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$100/pp seems very fine to me, especially if we're staying out of town for a day or two.

Only beginning to fully understand how eye gouging prices are for anything wedding related as we begin trying to do some preliminary planning for our own. Neither one of us feels like spending New Car Money on a single day, so that's nice but also limiting in its own way.

If you can hide the fact that it's a wedding, prices drop. Tell the florist and caterer that it's an anniversary party for your parents. 100% serious.

[bjstare]

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Once upon a time giving gifts meant something, something you can give to the couple that they can always remember you got them, something you can personalize as a thoughtful consideration to the couple.

If you want to give cash that’s fine that’s your prerogative, but asking for cash is impersonal and comes off as callous with no desire to actually make a connection as to what the gift is supposed to symbolize.

I also don’t give people cash for Christmas if that helps put my position in perspective.

Ok Boomer.


Seriously though, it's too broad to say asking for cash is callous. I mean, that's just like, your opinion man. Unless I know a person really well, it's highly unlikely I could get them a gift that they truly like and need, whereas if they ask for cash there's a good chance they'll use it to get something they need or enjoy. Nothing beats a really thoughtful gift that hits the mark perfectly... but that's super difficult to actually pull off.

[The Cosworth]

Haha thanks for the responses, they're DINKS, it is a smaller wedding (40-50 people). Not an open bar (toonie I think?) but meal included at the River Cafe. We're probably on the bottom of the 'close' list out of 40 people. I've worked with him for a long time, gone to F1 in Montreal a couple times together, etc. No they didn't come to our wedding. Yeah I was thinking that $100 price range was about right.

Love the bread maker idea. Hahah

[lasimmon]

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If you can hide the fact that it's a wedding, prices drop. Tell the florist and caterer that it's an anniversary party for your parents. 100% serious.

I feel after getting married recently this is a myth.

[speedog]

Can't even really comment on any if this wedding stuff, different times 30 years ago, different era?

Our wedding was very traditional but held at a distance, Kelowna. We preplanned for well over a year, pre-budgeted and prepaid as well and we had absolutely zero expectations of monetary gifts and certainly no expectations of enough monies received to offset any monies we put out in any meaningful manner. We dud not involve anyone else in our weddng's planning because it was our event and we both felt it was unfair to burden anyone else with those types of obligations.

In the end, we did not get much in the way of cash gifts, very little actually and this didn't upset us in the least bit because everything had been pretty much but paid in full by by our wedding day and again by us by the time we left on our honeymoon a couple of days later. Free booze bar, nice sit down meal, it was our treat to our close friends and family and we certainly did not keep track of whom gave how much for any future reference. Different times, different era.

[killramos]

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Ok Boomer.


Seriously though, it's too broad to say asking for cash is callous. I mean, that's just like, your opinion man. Unless I know a person really well, it's highly unlikely I could get them a gift that they truly like and need, whereas if they ask for cash there's a good chance they'll use it to get something they need or enjoy. Nothing beats a really thoughtful gift that hits the mark perfectly... but that's super difficult to actually pull off.

The entire convention is an old school traditional event, I personally think weddings are stupid, but if you want to do it might as well stick to the spirit of the tradition.

I don't go to many weddings where my wife or I don't know the Bride or Groom well enough to get them a gift they will appreciate.

[Disoblige]

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I don't go to many weddings where my wife or I don't know the Bride or Groom well enough to get them a gift they will appreciate.

That's the thing, that has been your experience. Weddings differ in so many ways, no one is able to say what is ok or not unless they know the context. Heck, even invites and thank you cards from my experience has been all done differently from "traditional" these days or not sent out at all.

For OP considering what he has said about the wedding he is going to, $100-150 minimum seems appropriate.

[Mitsu3000gt]

If you wish to give money, the general rule of thumb is to at a bare minimum cover your costs of being there. Food is usually around $70/plate + everything else. $100-$200/person is a good start, go with the higher side if it's a subsidized toonie bar or open bar.

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I feel after getting married recently this is a myth.

Not a myth. CBC Marketplace has a hidden camera episode on this - they went to a bunch of places for flowers, limos, etc. they were almost always charged way more when they said it was a wedding vs. a party or whatever else for the identical products/service. Sometimes 50-100%+ more.

"Traditional" Weddings are one of the biggest wastes of money IMHO, the price gouging is insane.

[lasimmon]

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If you wish to give money, the general rule of thumb is to at a bare minimum cover your costs of being there. Food is usually around $70/plate + everything else. $100-$200/person is a good start, go with the higher side if it's a subsidized toonie bar or open bar.




Not a myth. CBC Marketplace has a hidden camera episode on this - they went to a bunch of places for flowers, limos, etc. they were almost always charged way more when they said it was a wedding vs. a party or whatever else for the identical products/service. Sometimes 50-100%+ more.

"Traditional" Weddings are one of the biggest wastes of money IMHO, the price gouging is insane.

I mean I’ll take my personal experience over a tv show.

Organize some of what you need. With the contracts you need to sign. And get back to me when you get a quality provider for less because it’s “not a wedding”

Not to mention your general rule of thumb is also stupid. “The price gouging is insane” indeed.

[schurchill39]

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I mean I’ll take my personal experience over a tv show.

Organize some of what you need. With the contracts you need to sign. And get back to me when you get a quality provider for less because it’s “not a wedding”

Not to mention your general rule of thumb is also stupid. “The price gouging is insane” indeed.

My personal experience says that its a very real thing. When we had our wedding in 2016 we found a lot of the services wouldn't even give us a price until they found out what kind of event it was. Even something as simple as a bus to shuttle our guests was quoted at $400 for the night when we told them it was a reunion versus $700 as soon as my wife let it slip that it was a wedding (I already had the lower quote though and ended up paying the lower cost despite the provider admitting they charge more for weddings "because"). We looked at 3 different venues in Calgary and they all had a different rate sheet for weddings versus any other event which also included different rules for mandatory gratuities. We also have a family friend who used to own a catering company and she also recommended not letting anyone know that it was for a wedding until after prices were agreed upon because of the price differences in her industry.

Because of this we try and give around $100/pp if its a traditional full wedding with a sit down meal and subsidized bar. Maybe $75/pp if its a full price bar and cocktail food which seems to be getting more popular these days.

[dirtsniffer]

I can't say how different the pricing could be, but when we were married 4 years ago every vendor needed to know why we needed the service.

The only service I managed to not pay the 'wedding tax' was the limos because I had another quote originally. When I asked what the 'wedding package' was they basically put a just married sign on it haha, would have been 30% more expensive.

[lasimmon]

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I can't say how different the pricing could be, but when we were married 4 years ago every vendor needed to know why we needed the service.

The only service I managed to pay the 'wedding tax' was the limos because I had another quote originally. When I asked what the 'wedding package' was they basically put a just married sign on it haha, would have been 30% more expensive.

I mean Not a single service we used asked what it was for. But we didn’t use Kijiji specials so I can’t really comment.

Your second paragraph really confirms it.

[Mitsu3000gt]

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Not to mention your general rule of thumb is also stupid.

I dunno, other people in this thread as well as most of my friends have had prices inflated once the places found out it was for a wedding. The CBC episode matches the personal experience of those around me and others here so it's clearly a thing. How it usually happens is you don't even get a quote until you tell them what type of venue it's for - the reason for that is because the prices are different for wedding vs other.

What is stupid about making sure you at least cover your cost of being at a wedding if you choose to give money as a gift? Sorry I don't understand.

[SOAB]

i've gone to my fair share of weddings and there was not a single bride and groom that didn't already have everything they needed to start their life together. money is the best gift IMO to help them get a start with their life together. we definitely gave enough to cover our expenses and a little more for them, more for really close friends.

[bjstare]

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Not to mention your general rule of thumb is also stupid.

Strong counterpoint. Well said.

[dirtsniffer]

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I mean Not a single service we used asked what it was for. But we didn’t use Kijiji specials so I can’t really comment.

Your second paragraph really confirms it.

I didnt have a huge number of vendors for our wedding so maybe its not common, but in my experience, venues, florists, photographers, and limo companies all asked what the event was. My post wasn't clear but the limo company was the only one who didn't push to know the event and it was clear what the markup was after making two separate inquiries. I couldn't tell you if the other vendors had different rates.

Still had the emails, the 'wedding package' was $800. Same limo was $650. Only difference was a just married sign.

[npham]

There's a good reason why there's a 'premium' for wedding related services - most couples are huge pain in the asses to work with, so you need to charge more to put up with them. Just think about how many entitled couples out there, thinking this is their special day and no one else should matter. When in fact, the florist or caterer has multiple weddings to service that same day, and you aren't some special snowflake. Sure some people are easy going, but there's always far more people who are demanding instant responses to questions, changes, etc. and think since they are paying for a service, they can treat the provider like shit.

There's are plenty of ways that you can do a wedding cheaply, but the market is clearly there, and people are paying for it. If you want to have a nice venue, food, flowers, photographers, etc. you need to pay.

[Xtrema]

#1) I am surprised the going price isn't any more expensive from a decade ago given food and services are more expensive now.

#2) I thought random gifts is not a good thing. If you are gifting, I assume you have to stick with bride and groom's registry.

EDIT.. haha I did say $100-$120 in 2012 if invited to Chinese banquets:
https://forums.beyond.ca/threads/356...sturants-ideas

[Disoblige]

In the end, should it really matter? Either you really care about the bride and groom or you're comtemplating how much to give and not look cheap.

$100, $150, $200, $1000, pay what you feel comfortable and you feel good about it.

Let's say a wedding was ~$120 a head, whether a person pays $100, $200 or more per person shouldn't matter especially if they laid less because that is what they could do. Heck, I have close friends who gifted nothing and gave me an IOU.

[kertejud2]

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If you can hide the fact that it's a wedding, prices drop. Tell the florist and caterer that it's an anniversary party for your parents. 100% serious.