2019/2020 Wedding gift $$ value

[The Cosworth]

Most of my friends have been married for some time now so I'm not sure what the general convention is now? We have a wedding coming up next week and am curious what the appropriate value for a gift is now-adays?

It's a small wedding at the River Cafe and they're a professional couple so they just asked for money towards their honeymoon.

[killramos]

If I was asked for cash I would give a significantly smaller amount than the commensurate gift I would get them.

[sabad66]

Did they go to your wedding? Do you remember how much they gave you? If so give them the same amount back. That’s why we recorded every gift in a spreadsheet. Most were $100 per person back in 2016 which is pretty standard in my experience. More if they are really close (150/person).

For river cafe, catered food is going to be at least 70/plate so give at least 100 each

Also cash is king for wedding gifts even if they don’t mention it. Nobody wants actual presents these days since most couples already lived together before marriage and already have all their household stuff. We didn’t mention it on the card or anything, but if anyone asked we just said we prefer cash

[Disoblige]

Everyone's different it seems. Some go $100, some go by what they received. IMO if I attend the wedding, $200 minimum/person or whatever you can afford if less than that. More than $200 the closer they are.

I don't want to be petty and give them exactly what they gave me if it was less. It will be a wash anyways in the grand scheme of things.

[bjstare]

Good rule of thumb for us is ballpark what you think they spent on having you as guests and go more than that as a minimum. I don't like the idea of being a net-negative guest at the wedding.

[speedog]

Have some people's worlds actually come down to a comparison of a gift you received versus one you feel obligated to give? So much so that one would track such things in a spreadsheet? Honestly, I'm kind of gobsmacked by this sort outdoing the Joneses kind of thing.

[dj_rice]

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Have some people's worlds actually come down to a comparison of a gift you received versus one you feel obligated to give? So much so that one would track such things in a spreadsheet? Honestly, I'm kind of gobsmacked by this sort outdoing the Joneses kind of thing.

Might be an Asian thing as I know most Asians are petty.

[redblack]

$100/pp, so I’d go $200.
But since they asked for cash, give them a bread maker.

[eblend]

Few years back, wife and I attended a wedding in Fernie, was about $800 to stay in this mountain lodge for the two of us for two nights (we paid ourselves of course), we gifted $500 cash total. I think a couple hundred per person is a good number regardless.

[npham]

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If I was asked for cash I would give a significantly smaller amount than the commensurate gift I would get them.

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$100/pp, so I’d go $200.
But since they asked for cash, give them a bread maker.

Why are you guys so butt hurt about the couple/people asking for cash instead of a gift? It literally makes your life so fucking simple to pull out cash and give it to them in a card. They already have all the shit they need, so asking for cash makes the most sense.

[dirtsniffer]

I'd probably go 100-150 per person. Great friends could be more. Depends on the event as well. Open bar? Full meal?

[killramos]

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Why are you guys so butt hurt about the couple/people asking for cash instead of a gift? It literally makes your life so fucking simple to pull out cash and give it to them in a card. They already have all the shit they need, so asking for cash makes the most sense.

Once upon a time giving gifts meant something, something you can give to the couple that they can always remember you got them, something you can personalize as a thoughtful consideration to the couple.

If you want to give cash that’s fine that’s your prerogative, but asking for cash is impersonal and comes off as callous with no desire to actually make a connection as to what the gift is supposed to symbolize.

I also don’t give people cash for Christmas if that helps put my position in perspective.

[rx7boi]

I like getting cash and weddings aren't cheap so I aim for at least $100-150/pp to help offset my attendance, basically what @cjblair said about not being a net-negative guest.

If we're good friends with the wedding duo, we'll add in a personal gift as well. Those are always nice.

[lasimmon]

I got married recently. Averaged probably 150-200 per couple.

Any more is too much IMO.

- - - Updated - - -

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Good rule of thumb for us is ballpark what you think they spent on having you as guests and go more than that as a minimum. I don't like the idea of being a net-negative guest at the wedding.

Do you include all the outside costs? Rarely do I cruise to a wedding around Calgary here and come home that night. Changes things in my mind.

[ExtraSlow]

Eh, if the couple is just starting out in life, stuff is useful. If they are a little more established, they sure as hell don't need more small appliances. In that case, cash or nothing are both fine by me. But I'm a cheap bastard.

[killramos]

If you don’t need gifts, then this is a great opportunity to ask for contributions to a worthy charity in lieu of gifts.

You are having what ultimately amounts to a dope party in your name with your friends and family, if that’s not good enough of an occasion that you also need gifts or a pile of cash to make it worth doing then I don’t have much more to say.

[gqmw]

Really depends on the type of wedding and venue. I would say it's typically $100-$150/head. Perhaps it's just because I've been to a lot of Asian weddings, but it's almost always all cash. I know of many couples who tracked how much people gave them at their wedding, so that they would be able to give back at least that amount they received from those people at their weddings (assuming they are financially able to).

[Team_Mclaren]

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Why are you guys so butt hurt about the couple/people asking for cash instead of a gift? It literally makes your life so fucking simple to pull out cash and give it to them in a card. They already have all the shit they need, so asking for cash makes the most sense.

x2

Asians pretty much do cash only. It only makes sense. People dont want 27 mircowaves or toasters.

I think 150/pp is pretty standard.

[msommers]

$100/pp seems very fine to me, especially if we're staying out of town for a day or two.

Only beginning to fully understand how eye gouging prices are for anything wedding related as we begin trying to do some preliminary planning for our own. Neither one of us feels like spending New Car Money on a single day, so that's nice but also limiting in its own way.

[rx7boi]

@msommers

Best bang for buck for any wedding reception: photobooth. No joke.

$500-700 gets your guests basically unlimited fun photos for several hours after dinner. Happy to refer you to the company we used if it's of interest to you.

Other than that, prepare to get bent over haha. It's not so bad if you plan early and start paying stuff off monthly. I can't imagine finishing up a wedding and being 5 figures in debt.