Novel coronavirus (2019-nCoV/COVID-19)

[Tik-Tok]

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But they sell tolerable-coffee-flavored-hot-drink and its only downsides are mysterious sweating and squirty-bum!!!

*12-deep lineup in drive-thru

It's a caffeine delivery system, that is arguably slightly better than Redbull.

[ExtraSlow]

The squirty bum is greatly reduced if you drink it black. But then again, you realize how far from decent coffee that beverage is. 7-11 and McDonald's both have far superior coffee.

[revelations]

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Covid is not a conspiracy, yes it’s out there but it’s not the global killer these “experts” are making it out to be. Being educated and smart are not the same thing, you can still be an idiot with a degree. Healthcare workers should never be allowed to make decisions that affect economies. Politicians are stupid for following their advise above anything else.

I would argue that if the 'pandemic' was actually something serious, the health advisors concerns should have been heeded.

You can make the case that in march 2020, 'no one knew anything' , but 12 months later the joke is on us as citizens for allowing this to continue.

[Darell_n]

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The squirty bum is greatly reduced if you drink it black.

Wasn’t this the title of @ToiletX’s leaked home video? Can somebody tag him properly, I’m not good with this 1998 website.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Wasn’t this the title of @ToiletX’s leaked home video? Can somebody tag him properly, I’m not good with this 1998 website.

@Toilet_X

[jutes]

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I would argue that if the 'pandemic' was actually something serious, the health advisors concerns should have been heeded.

You can make the case that in march 2020, 'no one knew anything' , but 12 months later the joke is on us as citizens for allowing this to continue.

The BLM movement was a nice break from the Covid hysteria, it’s almost like the virus disappeared. It should’ve ended there along with lockdowns and restrictions. Once the terrorists errrr protesters went home, Covid was back in the headlines. MSM is the real threat.

[ExtraSlow]

Just a heads up for anyone with the sniffles or other symptoms, Alberta health regularly updates the isolation requirements for adults, as well as the "return to school" checklist for kids. Realized we were using an outdated one every morning with the kids. Changes are small but worth using the right forms.

[mr2mike]

Did a covid test on weekend. Results back negative within 12 hrs.
Both of us had a runny nose and sinus pressure.
Also know someone who tested positive with these exact same symptoms recently.
No we weren't in contact with them.

[ExtraSlow]

Seems the testing availability has opened up. Nice that we are getting appointments at the drive-through locations near our house now and not the greyhound station. I have sore throat and just booked 9:30AM today appointment. Nice.

Updated symptoms checklists here: https://www.alberta.ca/covid-19-testing-in-alberta.aspx

[killramos]

I always knew ES was dirty

[Tik-Tok]

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Seems the testing availability has opened up. Nice that we are getting appointments at the drive-through locations near our house now and not the greyhound station. I have sore throat and just booked 9:30AM today appointment. Nice.

Updated symptoms checklists here: https://www.alberta.ca/covid-19-testing-in-alberta.aspx

It's opened up because way less people are getting tested. Yesterday had 1/2 the tests done as most days in December. I think a lot of people are just avoiding it, sick or not.

[mr2mike]

If you're WFH and never see anyone anyways and have minimal symptoms. I see that you might not go get tested.
It's not like you'd infect the webcam girl you're closest to.

[Xtrema]

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The squirty bum is greatly reduced if you drink it black.

The only acceptable way to drink Tim's coffee is double/double to drown it out with fat and sugar.

[ExtraSlow]

Well, at least the tests are getting processed faster.

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ExtraSlow is negative for Covid19

That was pretty fast. 11 hour turnaround.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Well, at least the tests are getting processed faster.
That was pretty fast. 11 hour turnaround.

Holy fuck, Brother - are we connected telekinetically?!
I had to go get tested yesterday evening and I was shitting bricks on bricks of shit... I am surprisingly sick with rapid escalation of symptoms and no explanation.
I was really really worried that I had it, plus, not wanting to explain to boss about an ill-timed event.

Thankfully, I'm double Neg!

So, for those who don't know, I can explain today's system (even though it'll change by next week!) You drive up to Rona (LoL!!) and you can likely show up way early for your appointment because it sure wasn't busy. I was 90+ min early. It's drive-thru and you get this new option of a "rapid test" but if you do that, they have to stab your medulla oblongata with two Q-Tips. Fine.

The rapid test is fast, but not instant. So you go home and they text you. If rapid is + they will let you know "within 3hr". If rapid is - they will let you know "within about 6hr" but they will not tell you that it is negative. Instead, the text reads,
"Your test taken on Feb 18, 2021 requires further analysis in the lab. Please continue to isolate and wait for a follow up text message with your test result. For more info... etc" This is a negative result, but without the key word.

Why? Because we haven't started rounding up all of the stupid people and putting them into camps so we can sterilize them, yet. If you tell an idiot "Yo, you is Neg AF!" it will sprint into a school and lick doorknobs even though the rapid test is highly conclusive, but not bullet proof.

After lab test is completed (assumingly PCR but NurseTard couldn't English when I asked her), you get conclusive text.

My timeline:
Rapid Test "negative" text came 2.33 hours after test.
Full-on, confirmed negative came 15.75 hours after test.
^Impressive!!

Test was the worst I've had, yet. By far! Nurse was horrible. Terrible English behind two masks made her unintelligible, but boy oh boy, does she have a lot of stupid fucking questions that don't pertain to getting the fucking test done. Jammed second stick up my nose so far that my gagging etc made me spit quite a bit of sprayed disease all over her! So, so dumb technique. Literally asked me question-15 during insertion. I could see the droplets on her mask after.
It was honestly quite traumatizing. I probably shouldn't have driven home and by the time I got home, I was just about throwing my bags around and smashing things. It was weird. You get over it within and hour, but it was quite weird. That person should not be doing that job.

Anyways, I'm super relieved, now. I have no idea where I got whatever flu-like thing I have now, but it sucks.
Sucks a lot less than Teh Corvids, though.

[Buster]

Maybe they were trying to scrape out your neurosis.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Maybe they were trying to scrape out your neurosis.

You're gonna have to use more characters than your typical Twitter responses because I'm pretty sick and my head is foggy. I can't figure out whether you're being a cunt or a dick, or a jokey dick or a jokey cunt.

Jokes are always the best when you have to explain them.

[Buster]

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You're gonna have to use more characters than your typical Twitter responses because I'm pretty sick and my head is foggy. I can't figure out whether you're being a cunt or a dick, or a jokey dick or a jokey cunt.

yes

[revelations]

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If you're WFH and never see anyone anyways and have minimal symptoms. I see that you might not go get tested.
It's not like you'd infect the webcam girl you're closest to.

Yea I dont get it either - unless your sick/dying in the hospital and need specific treatment, or otherwise mandated to take the test - there is zero incentive for me to take a c19 test. Wear a mask and/or stay home if sick like that.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Yea I dont get it either - unless your sick/dying in the hospital and need specific treatment, or otherwise mandated to take the test - there is zero incentive for me to take a c19 test. Wear a mask and/or stay home if sick like that.

If you're single, fine but a potentially infected person in a household ruins everything for everyone in that house. The sooner one can rule out the Boogeyman Disease, the better. And, ruling it in is also valuable so you can confirm that extra precautions are more important.