Quantcast
Fake coronavirus news! I am not running out of toilet paper! - Beyond.ca - Car Forums
Page 1 of 9 1 2 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 162

Thread: Fake coronavirus news! I am not running out of toilet paper!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Upstairs
    My Ride
    Natural Gas.
    Posts
    13,332
    Rep Power
    100

    Default Fake coronavirus news! I am not running out of toilet paper!

    In these trying times, it's important not to spread false rumors that could incite panic.

    To reassure everyone, no matter if they are friends, #phans, or business associates, please be advised, my household IS NOT running out of toilet paper.

    Current reserves are 21 double rolls.

    Please remain calm, and be reassured.
    @The_Rural_Juror should be ashamed.
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    calgary.ab.ca
    My Ride
    E90M3 510 Wagon
    Posts
    8,025
    Rep Power
    64

    Default

    And I don’t even have wine white... only one rose, but I do have some bubbles!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Calgary
    My Ride
    A slow bike & an even slower car.
    Posts
    6,336
    Rep Power
    31

    Default

    Down to 48 beers. Found 3.5g of pot in my cabinet though, so I am actually up a bit on my pot reserves with 30g on-hand at this time.

    Note that I am out of edibles and chocolate covered M&M's. Amazon to the rescue.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Upstairs
    My Ride
    Natural Gas.
    Posts
    13,332
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Why the fuck can't I make the thread title in all caps? CENSORSHIP!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Only 15min from Aspen!
    My Ride
    Nothing interesting anymore
    Posts
    8,406
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Do the Borg even poop?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Wildflower Ranch
    My Ride
    Neo-Liberal Anarchist Mobile
    Posts
    2,245
    Rep Power
    38

    Default

    Did you receive a lot of concerned calls from the collective?
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Upstairs
    My Ride
    Natural Gas.
    Posts
    13,332
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tik-Tok View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Do the Borg even poop?
    Not often. Thier diet is optimized for nutrition not bulk.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Did you receive a lot of concerned calls from the collective?
    I receive thier concerns directly through the hive mind.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thier concerns are my concerns.
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Calgary
    My Ride
    N/A V8, TTV6, DOHC N/A V6
    Posts
    3,196
    Rep Power
    43

    Default

    Star Trek is lyfe.

    New Picard isn’t half bad.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age."

    -H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    calgary ab
    My Ride
    4x4
    Posts
    2,396
    Rep Power
    24

    Default

    I am... Would you Calgary fuckers stop coming here to clean out our stores... 2 triple rolls left.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Pallet Town
    Posts
    809
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Pfft, everyone knows the superior roll is the mega roll with holder extender.
    0.5 gram microsd delivered by 12,000 pound combustion vehicle and driver.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Upstairs
    My Ride
    Natural Gas.
    Posts
    13,332
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    I see the criminal has updated his count to be more reflective of reality. I hope he's learned his lesson and will no longer be spreading these vicous and dangerous falsehoods.
    Name:  TP Inventory 2020-03-21.PNG
Views: 867
Size:  9.7 KB
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Wildflower Ranch
    My Ride
    Neo-Liberal Anarchist Mobile
    Posts
    2,245
    Rep Power
    38

    Default

    Howmuchtoiletpaper.com
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Calgary
    My Ride
    79 Country Squire 95 Deville 09 Jeep JK
    Posts
    796
    Rep Power
    26

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Howmuchtoiletpaper.com
    You will last 31 days

    And my wife (not named Karen but for this exercise we will call her Karen) is freaking out.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Wildflower Ranch
    My Ride
    Neo-Liberal Anarchist Mobile
    Posts
    2,245
    Rep Power
    38

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ianmcc View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You will last 31 days

    And my wife (not named Karen but for this exercise we will call her Karen) is freaking out.
    As she should be we are going to be locked down for 18 months.
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Upstairs
    My Ride
    Natural Gas.
    Posts
    13,332
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Holy hell, I estimated 90 days long quarantine and I'm not going to make that.....
    Name:  Screenshot_20200322-082418.jpg
Views: 794
Size:  26.9 KB
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  16. #16
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Wildflower Ranch
    My Ride
    Neo-Liberal Anarchist Mobile
    Posts
    2,245
    Rep Power
    38

    Default

    Glad I was able to help you out of your false sense of security.

    Panic on.
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Upstairs
    My Ride
    Natural Gas.
    Posts
    13,332
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    I did drink about 14 beers yesterday. I'm at much less than a 38 day supply of that.
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Calgary AB
    Posts
    2,443
    Rep Power
    54

    Default

    This Coronavirus shit is killing my weight loss! I can’t shop daily for fresh veggies and my home is stocked up and living on pretty much pure carbs and frozen meat. Combining stress eating and post-apocalyptic food options, when this is all over I am going to have gained back at least half of what I lost or more I think... FML

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Upstairs
    My Ride
    Natural Gas.
    Posts
    13,332
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Need some exercise. Go chop down a tree or something on the back 40.
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    You realize you are talking to the guy who made his own furniture out of salad bowls right?

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Strathmore
    My Ride
    2005 Dirtymax
    Posts
    2,222
    Rep Power
    22

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Howmuchtoiletpaper.com
    Insufficient data. Does not ask gender of people using. Females always use more than males.

Page 1 of 9 1 2 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Have you bought toilet paper in bulk..?

    By tonytiger55 in forum Society / Law / Current Events / Politics
    Replies: 117
    Latest Threads: 03-24-2020, 04:33 PM
  2. Buying toilet paper

    By soloracer in forum General
    Replies: 65
    Latest Threads: 06-05-2015, 11:55 PM
  3. 22 Carat Gold Toilet Paper for just $1.3 Million

    By 89coupe in forum Fashion and Luxury
    Replies: 8
    Latest Threads: 02-16-2014, 01:26 PM
  4. Best toilet paper EVAR!

    By GTS Jeff in forum General
    Replies: 87
    Latest Threads: 12-18-2005, 10:17 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •