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Thread: Covid-19/Mental Health Anyone Else Having Trouble?

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    Default Covid-19/Mental Health Anyone Else Having Trouble?

    This isnít something most people like to talk about but I think we should all be open to discussing our mental health right now in hopes of keeping the pressure valve is our minds from sticking causing serious issues moving ahead, and I am finding myself sitting here needing a bit of a group hug right now and figured some other Beyonders are maybe feeling the same and just think they are too alone without anyone to show them they are not.

    My experiences are constantly up and down right now. One day I think I am dealing well and the next day everything is dark with no end in sight. I keep thinking about the very real fact I am probably going to lose it all and have to start all over again at 50 and that is really tough to bear. I also keep thinking about the people who I am responsible for and their financial and physical well being and if I canít keep it together for them then their misery will be on my shoulders. I know this is not an issue of my individual making but it definitely does not make it any easier to accept. I also hate that I am less concerned with this virus than I am with the economy. I canít pretend otherwise and it makes me sad that it truly comes down to the future versus the immediate in my mind. I donít like why I feel this way but I do feel this way. I just canít seem to get past it. I seriously donít know if it is right or wrong but I feel it is valid but you are not allowed to talk about it or face being labelled as evil or some shit so you bottle it up. Conversely I am nervous and worried for those that are being dramatically affected by the virus itself and the fear that comes along with all of that and I am torn and paralyzed by the juxtaposition of the conflicting emotions.

    WTF is happening to me?? I have always been one of those people that can be rational about heavy shit and am able to pull myself up when down but the load just seems to be getting heavier and heavier with each passing day. I donít want to say I am anywhere near the point of thinking I would ever do anything rash but I can definitely say I am starting to see why people do get there. I think that is why I want to start this thread and hopefully give a voice to people who are having trouble dealing with all this and just want someone to talk through their anxieties and know that it is normal and they are not alone and can turn to people to talk it out and move forward maybe a little more light hearted than they were yesterday.

    I hope I am not coming across as all ďOh woe is meĒ but right now hearing a bit of positive and understanding seems kind of important. Not just for me but for anyone right now who is starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by everything... Anyone else want to share your personal experiences and lighten your load a bit here? I think it does help just to put your thoughts into words and by no means will I judge you for it even if we are varying in opinion on aspects of all this shit we are dealing with together...

    I just ask that we donít use this thread for arguing about the ins and outs of the virus. There are plenty of other threads for that.

    Thanks for letting me unload a bit!

    Bob
    Bob Blakeborough

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    For myself the two things right now mostly keeping me sane is my job and knowing in a couple months I will be moving into my own house.

    But yeah its tough for a lot of us... I joke about it a lot but the groundhog day effect is real and being that we are in April already the snow and temps suck making it even harder.... your not alone.

    I can also understand where you are coming from with the fact you own a business and have family.

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    Bob, brother, you are describing depression really accurately.
    I am not an expert, but three important things to know :
    1) Experiencing this illness does not make you weak.
    2) your thoughts are very real, but they aren't always reality. Hear them but don't trust them when they are like this.
    3) there are excellent resources for this sort of thing, and nobody will judge you for accessing that help.
    Make the world a radder place, grow a mullet.
    Public Mobile is the best, just like Phil Collins' mullet.

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    And maybe the best "man's man" kind of explanation I've ever heard, in fishing terms.


    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, the best way to tell which thoughts to trust and which not to, is this.
    When you think you are alone, when you feel like you can't see past your own hands, that's when your thoughts are tricking you.

    When you can see you loved ones, and you can think about better days ahead, those are the thoughts you can trust.

    - - - Updated - - -

    A great listing of free resources to help out, including a neat daily text service called "Text for hope" available at:
    AHS - Help in Tough Times - Resources
    Last edited by ExtraSlow; 04-11-2020 at 09:49 AM.
    Make the world a radder place, grow a mullet.
    Public Mobile is the best, just like Phil Collins' mullet.

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    Hey Bob.

    Over the past few years, the stigma of discussing mental health has diminished. People have been encourage to speak up when they need help because this is as important as any physical illness. This is could likely the toughest time that we will face for the remainder of our lifetime.

    Know that we are in a country, a province, that has resources in place to help people and families; and stimulate the economy where needed. A benefit of living in an above average income city is that there will always be someone who can, and will, help their neighbours. We are fortunate for this, and it appears that the efforts that the AHS, the provincial government, and Albertans, in encouraging and actually social distancing is working. In my opinion, we are going to recover from this virus sooner than expected.

    However, this will not be the end, as we await economic recovery from the rest of the world building demand for our energy, or goods, and bringing down unemployment. One source of comfort is that our largest energy customer, the US, is doing everything they can to stimulate the economy. They are likely at around $6 trillion of stimulus at the moment with promises to do more to reduce unemployment and hasten recovery. When they recover, we follow. In a sense, we are in a better position than most in the world to be neighbours to one of the few countries that has the ability to do so.

    As you have probably heard from many, we will all get through this together. Many of us are in the same position and are willing to pull together to help each other out. You are a good man, a good father, husband, and we appreciate your contributions to society.

    I would encourage you to reach out to your social circle and family, and take a look at the resources on the AHS website here: shorturl.at/bsyAB . This is important.

    I would also encourage you to try out this free course online from Yale. "The Science of Well Being" to help understand why we feel the way we do. I am about 1/3 of the way through it and hope to finish it this weekend. https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-s...-of-well-being

    We still have a ways to go, but this is a start.
    Das baby kann noch kein bier trinken

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExtraSlow View Post
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    And maybe the best "man's man" kind of explanation I've ever heard, in fishing terms.


    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, the best way to tell which thoughts to trust and which not to, is this.
    When you think you are alone, when you feel like you can't see past your own hands, that's when your thoughts are tricking you.

    When you can see you loved ones, and you can think about better days ahead, those are the thoughts you can trust.
    That right there is exactly why I started this thread man... I know I am depressed right now for sure and since we can’t just go over to a buddies and blow off some steam I thought maybe I could try and turn this into a bit of a positive for others and start a man shed here on Beyond and maybe give us all a place to turn and keep things in check a bit. I really appreciate you posting that little vid because it is the truth.

    For me, like I was saying, some days seems much easier than others. Today I am feeling a bit better than I was the other day. Some things I am doing to try and control myself is staying away from the booze. I had a couple scotches yesterday for the first time in 3 weeks and I could tell right away I was starting to internalize a bunch of bullshit so I am going to keep avoiding alcohol altogether for while. Food on the other hand is also causing me a bit of grief. I have always used food as a means of feeling better when I am down but right now it is making me feel worse about myself after all the hard work I have been putting in over the last couple of years getting my weight under control. I am trying to keep myself in check but being bored at home it is so easy to hit the fridge and it isn’t stocked with healthy stuff like it usually is. I am going to town today for a food shop and I want to load up on veggies etc to try and give myself something to eat without resorting to prepper foods in the pantry.
    Bob Blakeborough

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    I've always used exercise as a stress relief and it's probably the easiest thing you can do right now, it's always recommended by health professionals. Go out for a long walk if you can (I HATE running) and see how you feel after that. Since everything closed, I try to walk 10k either outside or on the treadmill everyday.

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    download (7).jpeg

    I said last week I was starting to get amused by the extroverts I know starting to go a bit nuts...

    By the way you can go to your friends driveway/firepit and have a beer and shoot the shit 6' apart. Nothing wrong with that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AndyL View Post
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    download (7).jpeg

    I said last week I was starting to get amused by the extroverts I know starting to go a bit nuts...

    By the way you can go to your friends driveway/firepit and have a beer and shoot the shit 6' apart. Nothing wrong with that.
    Honestly I am not much of an extrovert. I tend to fake that part of my existence. I am not unhappy with being home as much as why we are at home I think. Hard to peg right now.
    Bob Blakeborough

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    Quote Originally Posted by AndyL View Post
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    download (7).jpeg

    I said last week I was starting to get amused by the extroverts I know starting to go a bit nuts...

    By the way you can go to your friends driveway/firepit and have a beer and shoot the shit 6' apart. Nothing wrong with that.
    There are many on social media who will vilify you for doing that. Personally I have gone to my friends bar several times since this started. It's closed obviously, we sit at other ends of it pour our own pints, sani the taps and hands between pours, and visit.

    It's the best part of this ordeal and I dgaf if people don't like it. We're careful, we're clean (he's a germaphobe at the best of times), it's safer than a grocery store and it provides an outlet.

    We've laid off 1/3 of our staff Bob, and it sucks. If capital investment remains terrified, another third will come in a 2 months or so, whether we can work or not. A lot of contracts are being shelved indefinitely right now, so the fact that we can work doesn't matter if there's no work left to do.

    You and everyone else who employs people are feeling the same things, for whatever that's worth. Add on actually caring about your people and it feels worse, being a soulless capitalist would have an emotional upside right now. Although I would prefer to feel what we're feeling right now as opposed to not caring about them.

    I definitely am one who believes the human toll of this will be greater than that of the virus. Each seem to be unavoidable.
    Last edited by JRSC00LUDE; 04-11-2020 at 10:36 AM.
    Originally posted by SJW
    Once again another useless post by JRSCOOLDUDE.
    Originally posted by snowcat
    Don't let the e-thugs and faggots get to you when they quote your posts and write stupid shit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JRSC00LUDE View Post
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    There are many on social media who will vilify you for doing that. Personally I have gone to my friends bar several times since this started. It's closed obviously, we sit at other ends of it pour our own pints, sani the taps and hands between pours, and visit.

    It's the best part of this ordeal and I dgaf if people don't like it. We're careful, we're clean (he's a germaphobe at the best of times), it's safer than a grocery store and it provides an outlet.
    People are shaming the shit out of anyone that is trying to have even the remotest bit of normal life no matter how extraordinarily careful you are being.
    Bob Blakeborough

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    Quote Originally Posted by tirebob View Post
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    People are shaming the shit out of anyone that is trying to have even the remotest bit of normal life no matter how extraordinarily careful you are being.
    Yes I know. And I'm not going to let that bother me, I am worrying about myself and our staff which consequently makes me consider everyone else by extension through my planned and deliberate actions. That's all I can do. Our industry is getting daily updates on how to operate with best practices and on the personal side, I have the unique opportunity of having a personal friend (microbiologist) who works in a testing lab. I use those information resources to formulate my decisions and am comfortable with them. What the social police cannot differentiate between are the brainless morons doing recklessly stupid things and, the rest of us.

    I'm sure these responses will have some here mad at me. The thing is, there's no point in getting mad at them. They too are going through stress and fear and their actions are a reflection of that. Everyone has to respond in their own way to get through this while maintaining personal sanity.
    Last edited by JRSC00LUDE; 04-11-2020 at 10:54 AM.
    Originally posted by SJW
    Once again another useless post by JRSCOOLDUDE.
    Originally posted by snowcat
    Don't let the e-thugs and faggots get to you when they quote your posts and write stupid shit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jutes View Post
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    I've always used exercise as a stress relief and it's probably the easiest thing you can do right now, it's always recommended by health professionals. Go out for a long walk if you can (I HATE running) and see how you feel after that. Since everything closed, I try to walk 10k either outside or on the treadmill everyday.
    I know you are right on this... I have such a hard time “exercising” specifically. It isn’t laziness, but I find it so monotonous. If I am not enjoying myself I find it difficult. I like doing physical activity like splitting wood and shit, but just not gym stuff. I have to work on this for sure!

    Quote Originally Posted by JRSC00LUDE View Post
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    Yes I know. And I'm not going to let that bother me, I am worrying about myself and our staff which consequently makes me consider everyone else by extension through my planned and deliberate actions. That's all I can do. Our industry is getting daily updates on how to operate with best practices and on the personal side, I have the unique opportunity of having a personal friend (microbiologist) who works in a testing lab. I use those information resources to formulate my decisions and am comfortable with them. What the social police cannot differentiate between are the brainless morons doing recklessly stupid things and, the rest of us.

    I'm sure these responses will have some here mad at me. The thing is, there's no point in getting mad at them. They too are going through stress and fear and their actions are a reflection of that. Everyone has to respond in their own way to get through this while maintaining personal sanity.
    Good on you man!
    Bob Blakeborough

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    Quote Originally Posted by JRSC00LUDE View Post
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    There are many on social media who will vilify you for doing that.
    There's no question - Saturday/Sunday morning the local FB was all about "to the asshole who called bylaw".

    Don't let the idiots win. They wanna call someone and vilify you, let them get the education. There's no rule saying you can't leave the house. You can social distance without being a hermit if you wish. Hell have a dance party!



    I know Bob has some awesome hobbies - order up some new gear go sit on the deck and paint/brew/whatever.

    Fire up the firepit invite all your friends - hula hoops at 6' spacing held down with tent pegs...

    Fuck the idiotic "stay inside" morons on facebook

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    As someone who has mental health issues, you're not alone in feeling the way you are

    I hate the stigma around 'mental health issues' but in reality it just is what is it, I've come to grips with it as it doesn't mean there's something wrong with me, but at the same time I know I don't function like others... my mental health issues are primarily anxiety related but even with everything going on, I've had days of depression and shutdown. Since we're in uncertain times, I don't honestly don't think it's out of line to feel sad and depressed, however there's a limit.

    I've had days where I felt hopeless, and a feeling that this will never end, and what happens then, it took me to a very bad and dark spot that day, thankfully it hasn't occurred again but I'm sure it will. I've had a few days where I've just needed space and time for myself, I'm more of an introvert than extrovert but that doesn't mean it's still not hard to cope and grasp with the current new normal.

    I've been walking on my treadmill when my thoughts go to sad or dark places to distract myself, I grab my laptop and throw on some junky youtube videos and distract myself, and it's definitely helped.

    My wife, she has broken down a couple times, my daughter the same, if anything I would say it's NOT normal to be ok with everything going on, it's NOT normal to not be ok right now. However the best thing you can do is identify there's something wrong and do something about it, what works for me won't work for everyone and honestly what works for me right now, may not work tomorrow or next week. Not doing something about it, is the worst thing you can do.. and when I say, do something about it, I don't mean getting back to work, restarting the economy, coming up with a plan of action. I mean, to focus on yourself, your well being, for now.. talk to family & friends, get moving by going for walks, chores around your house you wouldn't normally do.

    There's people in your personal life going through the exact same thing and just talking about it will help

    The other day I heard a poem and it made me get a little teary given the current situation
    Last edited by adam c; 04-11-2020 at 11:42 AM.
    Sig nuked by mod.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tirebob View Post
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    People are shaming the shit out of anyone that is trying to have even the remotest bit of normal life no matter how extraordinarily careful you are being.
    Thursday my 5yo daughter and I took a walk around the neighborhood after work, we ended up in front of one of her daycare friends houses, so I texted the parents to ask if we could say hi from the porch. We started chatting for awhile while the kids were running around playing no-touch hide and seek. 10 minutes later their neighbor came out and we were all standing 10' away from each other, now with 3 kids running around. About a half hour of us just chit chatting a fucking cop car comes cruising down the road staring us down, and picks up his mic. He didn't stop, but it was obvious another neighbor had called CPS on us.

    I was fucking livid.

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    Ooops wrong thread
    Last edited by AndyL; 04-11-2020 at 01:02 PM.

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    I have made it clear many times on Beyond that I suffer from chronic mental illness. My meds keep me from having serious lows, but I'm never able to feel "good". Ever. It fucking blows, but it is better than being a raging emotional wreck I guess.

    I only say this to remind anyone reading that I am always struggling, so I can totally relate with those who are. However, while I am a lost cause, most of you feeling the stress/depression right now are not. There are many things that can help.

    Talk about your feelings open and freely with whoever you can. Don't worry about the stigma - it lets you know who your true friends are.
    Exercise is important. Get your heart rate up. It helps.
    Realize you are not alone - especially right now. The anxiety you are feeling right now is shared by many and is a normal human reaction to this trying time - especially with those who hold responsibilities as you do.
    As you have been, avoid drugs, alcohol and smoking if you can.
    Avoid sugar crashes and eat healthy to ensure your body doesn't get run down too from lack of vitamins, minerals, and general energy. There are also suppliments which have light evidence that they might work, such as Tumeric and St. Johns Wort.
    Get outside - especially when sunny.
    Avoid depressing movies, songs, and even some media right now. This can all have a profound effect in skewing your emotions to the negative side.
    It is hard, but try not to worry about what may or may not happen. Sometimes the not knowing is harder, but if things turn out fine you will find all this worrying was for nothing. Worry about it when you must... not when your emotions tell you. Focus on the absolutes and not the possibilities.
    On a similar note, try to use logic instead of emotion.
    Don't worry about others. This isn't to say be a dick or anything, but this depression is yours to get through and it isn't helpful to worry about others when you are trying to repair yourself. You can't help others if you are broken.
    Breathe. Breathe deeply and consistently.

    Good luck. We are all feeling this to some degree and we are all in this together.
    Last edited by Kloubek; 04-11-2020 at 01:29 PM.

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    I am struggling hard core, my adult children are home but are both essential workers so I have a lot of alone time. I lost my husband in Jan, so the only counselling I get now is over the phone, and i'll be honest, it's just not the same as going to an office and having that time together. All the paperwork and legal stuff is pretty much on hold. So on top of the isolation, I feel like I can't propertly deal with my grief, my anxiety is out of control and i'm barely sleeping, life feels so "heavy" if that makes sense. The only thing getting me up everyday is the my puppy. I've resorted to melatonin and an over the counter sleeping pill or zquil, otherwise i'm up all night with a million things running through my mind. I don't have any family here except for my children and pretty much every friend has stopped calling. Nothing is normal, I don't know how to feel normal anymore.

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    So sorry to hear about your hubby, Kritafo. I can imagine this time is extremely difficult for you right now. Besides the things I listed for Bob, there isn't much I can really say to you other than to hang in there. We are all feeling messed up right now to varying degrees, and you are dealing with some even more serious shit right now. But I promise - it WILL get better.

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