This isn’t something most people like to talk about but I think we should all be open to discussing our mental health right now in hopes of keeping the pressure valve is our minds from sticking causing serious issues moving ahead, and I am finding myself sitting here needing a bit of a group hug right now and figured some other Beyonders are maybe feeling the same and just think they are too alone without anyone to show them they are not.
My experiences are constantly up and down right now. One day I think I am dealing well and the next day everything is dark with no end in sight. I keep thinking about the very real fact I am probably going to lose it all and have to start all over again at 50 and that is really tough to bear. I also keep thinking about the people who I am responsible for and their financial and physical well being and if I can’t keep it together for them then their misery will be on my shoulders. I know this is not an issue of my individual making but it definitely does not make it any easier to accept. I also hate that I am less concerned with this virus than I am with the economy. I can’t pretend otherwise and it makes me sad that it truly comes down to the future versus the immediate in my mind. I don’t like why I feel this way but I do feel this way. I just can’t seem to get past it. I seriously don’t know if it is right or wrong but I feel it is valid but you are not allowed to talk about it or face being labelled as evil or some shit so you bottle it up. Conversely I am nervous and worried for those that are being dramatically affected by the virus itself and the fear that comes along with all of that and I am torn and paralyzed by the juxtaposition of the conflicting emotions.
WTF is happening to me?? I have always been one of those people that can be rational about heavy shit and am able to pull myself up when down but the load just seems to be getting heavier and heavier with each passing day. I don’t want to say I am anywhere near the point of thinking I would ever do anything rash but I can definitely say I am starting to see why people do get there. I think that is why I want to start this thread and hopefully give a voice to people who are having trouble dealing with all this and just want someone to talk through their anxieties and know that it is normal and they are not alone and can turn to people to talk it out and move forward maybe a little more light hearted than they were yesterday.
I hope I am not coming across as all “Oh woe is me” but right now hearing a bit of positive and understanding seems kind of important. Not just for me but for anyone right now who is starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by everything... Anyone else want to share your personal experiences and lighten your load a bit here? I think it does help just to put your thoughts into words and by no means will I judge you for it even if we are varying in opinion on aspects of all this shit we are dealing with together...
I just ask that we don’t use this thread for arguing about the ins and outs of the virus. There are plenty of other threads for that.
Thanks for letting me unload a bit!
Bob