School me on being a Dad

[shakalaka]

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Easy, big fella.

As you mentioned, you know that if someone makes a comment here, advice and opinions will rain down... It is a discussion forum afterall.

You're about to go through one of the most meaningful and transformative experiences of your life, which most don't fully realize until it's in the rearview.... Unsolicited or not, you might want to take into consideration what those that have gone before you have to say on the matter... Or not.

All good points. Though, my response was directly in reply to you saying, 'I asked for advise...and I am choosing not to do what everyone is saying'. So just making sure we are all clear here that I did not ask for advise and I am not choosing to do something contrary to the advise that I solicited. It is a forum after all and everyone has the right to say what they feel, just not what is factually incorrect. I just don't wanna be put in the same category as Mar - no offence to him. Haha.

I feel like everyone is more concerned about this than the only person that actually matters in this whole situation (my wife). Haha. And we are still 6 weeks out from the due date btw with no indication or sign that the baby is coming earlier, so while I am well cognizant of all the points everyone has made, I will ultimately make a decision in conjunction with my wife after she's had her dr. appointment tomorrow.

Let's all move on to a different discussion point now.

[riander5]

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All good points. Though, my response was directly in reply to you saying, 'I asked for advise...and I am choosing not to do what everyone is saying'. So just making sure we are all clear here that I did not ask for advise and I am not choosing to do something contrary to the advise that I solicited. It is a forum after all and everyone has the right to say what they feel, just not what is factually incorrect. I just don't wanna be put in the same category as Mar - no offence to him. Haha.

I feel like everyone is more concerned about this than the only person that actually matters in this whole situation (my wife). Haha. And we are still 6 weeks out from the due date btw with no indication or sign that the baby is coming earlier, so while I am well cognizant of all the points everyone has made, I will ultimately make a decision in conjunction with my wife after she's had her dr. appointment tomorrow.

Let's all move on to a different discussion point now.

Ho-Lee Fuck.

Must be a different culture you live in bro.. good god

[shakalaka]

Well we do belong to a different culture than the majority Caucasian population that Canada is if that's what you mean.

[suntan]

Prepare for Tiger Mom?

[max_boost]

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Well we do belong to a different culture than the majority Caucasian population that Canada is if that's what you mean.

Yes I’m also culturally fluid

[shakalaka]

[riander5]

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Well we do belong to a different culture than the majority Caucasian population that Canada is if that's what you mean.

Haha yeah and I mean just from a logical standpoint.

When my wife was pregnant, her needs typically trumped all of mine. There was no question. Maybe I'm just p-whipped

[shakalaka]

Haha. I feel like I am p-whipped, tho my wife says otherwise and points to my car changing habits and her not putting a foot down against it. I tell her she can but if I can’t do cars then it’ll have to be hookers and blow so she can decide. Haha.

But in all seriousness, I am extremely lucky to have married a woman like my wife from almost every single angle that’s important in life. Only annoying part is the constant nagging about me being lazy, not doing more around the house myself and hiring people instead. Haha. That I feel is a minor issue in exchange of all the positives.

[ExtraSlow]

You know your relationship best, I hope all your choices lead to positive outcomes. Best wishes bro!

[dirtsniffer]

Shak going into parenthood will be the most entertaining part of beyond2023

[shakalaka]

Don't worry, I will watch a bunch of YouTube videos one night and have all this shit locked down. Haha.

[ganesh]

Another vote for Cancelling , you definitely don't need to take any chances.
I am sure you and your family knows the best and you will make the decision that suits your family.

[haggis88]

@shakalaka how quick could you get back from Frog city if the need arose?

I worked for Bob when my first was born and it was also covid time, so we were able to work out a good paternity leave

When the twins came, I was back in the field and travelling 100%...my boss knew the due date and that it was twins so became a complicated pregnancy immediately. Whilst it wasn't always possible, they tried to schedule me locally closer to the due date but with a few weeks to go I was in Syracuse with the understanding that if anything at all happened I was out of there and on the next flight.

They came exactly on due date and by that point I'd been home for over a week and then had a while at home to soak it all in

So whilst my situation was a little different (business travel, not pleasure) I'm in the "depends on the situation" camp and you really need to play it by ear

[shakalaka]

Okay points taken. Thanks everyone for the input. Now let's talk about some advice after the kid arrives. I am not taking any time off officially though my work is flexible enough if I am not in Court. So I just thought I will go in and deal with office/court commitments as I need to and then be at home. Is that the right move? Or should I at least have 1 full week (2 if possible) completely booked off so I am not going in at all? It'll be hard to manage as I didn't schedule my calendar accordingly from beforehand. For reference, wife will be on mat leave of course, my mother-in-law is local to Edmonton so will be around all-the-time I am sure and my mom is likely going to come up from Calgary and stay with us for some time I imagine.

[haggis88]

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Okay points taken. Thanks everyone for the input. Now let's talk about some advice after the kid arrives. I am not taking any time off officially though my work is flexible enough if I am not in Court. So I just thought I will go in and deal with office/court commitments as I need to and then be at home. Is that the right move? Or should I at least have 1 full week (2 if possible) completely booked off so I am not going in at all? It'll be hard to manage as I didn't schedule my calendar accordingly from beforehand. For reference, wife will be on mat leave of course, my mother-in-law is local to Edmonton so will be around all-the-time I am sure and my mom is likely going to come up from Calgary and stay with us for some time I imagine.

I had a solid 5 weeks off both times, the first 2 weeks are the hardest on the sleep schedule

Having family close will be a huge benefit

[vengie]

I took off two weeks for both kids.
Gives you time to get into a good routine.

Trust me, routine is key.
Don't be afraid to turn people away, everyone is going to be very excited to meet the little one, but at the same time it exhausts you and mom further.

Focus is now on you and your family.

Best of luck.

[ExtraSlow]

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Dad's biggest responsibility during pregnancy and the first 6-12 months of the baby's life is to the mother.
....

This is a time when your relationship with the mother can get stronger if you work at it.

My advice above still works.
Protect the mother from the visitors as much as needed. Turn away people or when people come over, YOU show them the baby while mom takes a bath or a nap. You take as much off her plate as possible, both mentally and physically.

[88CRX]

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Okay points taken. Thanks everyone for the input. Now let's talk about some advice after the kid arrives. I am not taking any time off officially though my work is flexible enough if I am not in Court. So I just thought I will go in and deal with office/court commitments as I need to and then be at home. Is that the right move? Or should I at least have 1 full week (2 if possible) completely booked off so I am not going in at all? It'll be hard to manage as I didn't schedule my calendar accordingly from beforehand. For reference, wife will be on mat leave of course, my mother-in-law is local to Edmonton so will be around all-the-time I am sure and my mom is likely going to come up from Calgary and stay with us for some time I imagine.

Dude, it’s going to be the best and worst time of your life.

Best to worst and back to best at a moments notice. And hope you don’t like sleep or free time hah.

[ExtraSlow]

Nah, just be a 'coupe and thrive

[max_boost]

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Nah, just be a 'coupe and thrive

This Issa the way