School me on being a Dad

[Darkane]

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We are definitely one and done. We always talked about that before having him, but him being the way he is it’s just made it a 100% thing. Even the wife doesn’t want another kid as she says she can’t risk that kid to be like this guy as she’s gonna check herself into a mental hospital. Lol.

All that being said, fuck getting snipped. I ain’t doing that. Fuckin talking about is giving me weird pain tinglies. lol

If you don’t get snipped, you place your trust wholly with your wife. If her mental health is affected, she could forget to take the pill or not want to be intimate in fear of a second one. This will be extremely hard on your situation.

Someone gave me this advice before my kids came years ago:

“If you and the wife are good, the kids are good”.

It took me months into our first born to understand what he meant. Then the second kid came. That quote still holds true - get your shit together with your partner. It will help the kids, too. It’s not the kid’s fault until they’re much older and not innocent.

[killramos]

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If you don’t get snipped, you place your trust wholly with your side piece. If her mental health is affected, she could forget to take the pill in fear of being replaced. This will be extremely hard on your situation.

Someone gave me this advice before my kids came years ago:

“If you and the wife are good, the kids are good”.

It took me months into our first born to understand what he meant. Then the second kid came. That quote still holds true - get your shit together with your partner. It will help the kids, too. It’s not the kid’s fault until they’re much older and not innocent.

ftfy

[kJUMP]

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We are close to 7 months with our little guy and he still does not like sleeping. For about a month or so in between he was sleeping somewhat at okay at nights at least but that hasn’t been the case for a while either. During the day putting him for naps is a mission and he only sleeps when he is in our arms. The moment you put him down he wakes up and cries. And since he doesn’t sleep much (except after a day or two of being overtired) he’s typically cranky during the day and only does short 30-40 mins naps in the arms. It is what it is at this point, just gotta suck it up and deal with it. We will likely look into a nanny soon but wife doesn’t trust anyone but herself and me to deal with him when he’s being particularly difficult. Just gotta keep pushing through, he’s gotta stop at some point.

if your kid is older than 6 months with persistent sleep challenges then it's time for sleep training. We used Lisa from the Mamacoach for our daughter at just under 6 months and within 10 days she was sleeping throughout the night. Just make the call and explore some options, we found them to be quite supportive.

https://themamacoach.com/

[Darkane]

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ftfy

10-4

[vengie]

Our youngest has officially kicked the soother at 22.5 months!
We only used it for naps or bed, so not a massive habit to break, but a win either way.

Next up, potty training.

[ThePenIsMightier]

Plz how many weeks plz.

[vengie]

714 days old

[ExtraSlow]

My kid threw thier soothers down the heat duct, after prying up the grille. I retrieved them. A week later it happened again. I told the kid I couldn't retrieve them. Soothers over.
Have no idea when that was in days, weeks or months.

[haggis88]

The boy never took soothers so no habit to break there

The girls have them at nap times and sometimes if they're a bit cranky or unwell

One has started trying to talk with the dummy in her mouth and I tell her each time to take it out before talking...there's nothing worse than a kid talking through a pacifier

[JfuckinC]

Our first kid chewed through three in about an hour one night and that was the end of them for her. Same week she got a big girl bed, and was potty training… what a shit show lol

[brucebanner]

2.5 year old still sleeps with soother, doesn't have it any other time.

5mo doesn't really like them, takes it sometimes to go to sleep.

Update on sleep training, week 2+. Other than self soothing back to sleep, still waking multiple times nightly. Wife was getting more sleep when she would nurse him back to sleep instead of this sleep training. Frustrating, hopefully it starts to pay off sooner than later with more than just self soothing.

[bjstare]

It will.

[dirtsniffer]

Short term pain, long term gain

[schurchill39]

For us, the cry it out method worked the best but everyone's kid is different and everyone's tolerance for screaming babies varies.

It was hard as hell, and we felt like such pieces of shit when we did it but my son took 45 minutes to go down and you needed to 007 your way out of there because if he woke up you were going through the routine again. We did 2 nights of "cry it out" where he balled and screamed for 2 hours each night but after that it was like we had a whole new kid. My daughter wasn't nearly as bad as my son for bed times, and maybe as parents we were better with just setting her down earlier in the nightly routine so she was used to it quicker than he was. Either way struggling through sleep training was the second best thing we ever did for our kids (the first was teaching them to blame their mom for any and all farts in the house).

[riander5]

We tried modified cry it out but never worked.

Felt good we never went hardcore when we heard stories of friends kids crying it out and then they found their kid covered in barf the next morning and left them to sleep in it.

[brucebanner]

Our sleep training we used with our first was ferber method, basically the same method for second as well.

@dirtsniffer - so what was with the stroller picture?

[schurchill39]

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We tried modified cry it out but never worked.

Felt good we never went hardcore when we heard stories of friends kids crying it out and then they found their kid covered in barf the next morning and left them to sleep in it.

Had we not had a wyze camera on them we definitely wouldn't have taken the approach we did as something legitimately being wrong and us not acknowleding that was a fear for sure. Like I said, everyone's kid and tolerance is different and this worked in 2 days for us versus months of trying other methods. That being said your kid could not make a peep and still barf on themselves at night so to say thats a result of crying it out or to shit on it for that reason is a bit of a stretch.

[shakalaka]

Yea we can't do cry-it-out...we just don't have the heart. Tried it once and I don't even know how long it actually was as it felt forever but couldn't have been more than 10-15 minutes (and that was with the wife lying beside him (just not holding him her arms)) and he wouldn't stop wailing. Took a good 20 or so minutes to get him to calm down after the fact as he was doing the short/grasps breathing things for a good while. Never tried it again. I can't let him cry for more than a minute, much less a long time...I guess we are fucked.

[haggis88]

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Yea we can't do cry-it-out...we just don't have the heart. Tried it once and I don't even know how long it actually was as it felt forever but couldn't have been more than 10-15 minutes (and that was with the wife lying beside him (just not holding him her arms)) and he wouldn't stop wailing. Took a good 20 or so minutes to get him to calm down after the fact as he was doing the short/grasps breathing things for a good while. Never tried it again. I can't let him cry for more than a minute, much less a long time...I guess we are fucked.

Babies cry man, you're in for a world of hurt later on if you keep giving in every time he cries

[88CRX]

Yea we did the cry it out method for a couple days... with a baby monitor. Really wasn't that bad with ours.

#badparenting

- - - Updated - - -

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Babies cry man, you're in for a world of hurt later on if you keep giving in every time he cries

Was gonna say this as well... but really I have very little clue WTF I'm doing myself.