School me on being a Dad

[ExtraSlow]

Yeah, we had midwife for both births, and ended up with both births at home. Was certainly better for us.

[Skrilla]

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I never looked during delivery. I too would've passed out. Looked out the window, held her hand, till baby was fully out haha.

Glad to see I'm not the only weak sauce around here.

Oh there is no way I'm peaking haha.

[bjstare]

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I never looked during delivery. I too would've passed out. Looked out the window, held her hand, till baby was fully out haha.

Glad to see I'm not the only weak sauce around here.

Preach. I had no interest in seeing that, none whatsoever.

[schurchill39]

It wasn't bad at all, I didn't think there was anything gross about it, it looks like a vagina only swollen and with a small human coming out of it. The gross part is the placenta but I had nothing to do with that as I was on skin-skin duty by then. Cutting the cord was just like cutting a rubber band too. All in all tt was an awesome experience and I wish I would have had the chance to deliver both kids but my first came out all cattywhompus so I was relegated to being the wide receiver on that one.

[dirtsniffer]

I watched our daughter being born, but the instant she was out I noped outta there. The amount of blood on the floor and on the dr was a good indication of what follows after.

[RX_EVOLV]

Watched the whole thing from the beginning to end. The Dr. even asked me to help so it was me and this other nurse hold my wife's legs up for the final hour of the delivery lol. It wasn't that bad at all and glad I was able to participate rather than just being an observer. The only really gross part was afterwards when the Dr. asked us if we want to see the bloody placenta, then proceed to stretch it out in front of us from the inside to illustrate how the baby was protected and moved around in there. That was gross lol. She also made a point that we can't keep it.... maybe because we are asian??

[schurchill39]

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Watched the whole thing from the beginning to end. The Dr. even asked me to help so it was me and this other nurse hold my wife's legs up for the final hour of the delivery lol. It wasn't that bad at all and glad I was able to participate rather than just being an observer. The only really gross part was afterwards when the Dr. asked us if we want to see the bloody placenta, then proceed to stretch it out in front of us from the inside to illustrate how the baby was protected and moved around in there. That was gross lol. She also made a point that we can't keep it.... maybe because we are asian??

I thought that part was cool as hell, but I am glad I didn't watch it come out. You can keep the placenta if you want, you just need to sign a waiver and deal with a few raised eyebrows. Maybe she was afraid of black market placenta kabobs showing up at T&T

[90_Shelby]

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It wasn't bad at all..........

I should have stopped reading here. Everything you typed following, was all bad, and a reminder why a hospital delivery should be the preferred choice, if you don’t want to experience what was just described.

[ExtraSlow]

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I should have stopped reading here. Everything you typed following, was all bad, and a reminder why a hospital delivery should be the preferred choice, if you don’t want to experience what was just described.

It's cool that choices exist.

[benyl]

Even with a midwife, we ended up in the hospital. We were all preped for home birth, but the final ultrasound showed that our daughter's bowels weren't clearing. We chose a hospital birth with a Doctor on standby in case there was an obstruction. There wasn't. Ultrasounds are a very very inexact science.

I watched the whole thing... Going to get snipped at the end of the month because I don't want to witness that again.

[killramos]

I am personally extremely shocked the number of you who went with either a midwife/doula or having home births rather than relying on doctors and hospitals.

Maybe it’s just a cultural thing for me but that isn’t something that would be anything resembling being on my radar.

[ExtraSlow]

well, you can choose a midwife and still plan for a hospital birth. That's an option too. And there is a massive difference between a midwife and a doula. Midwives are regulated medical professionals in Alberta (and I think all of North America).

There are stats available, but midwifery care is associate with statistically better outcomes for both mother and child. Choosing a midwife early in the process does not close any doors to you, including doctor delivery if that is medically required or that would lower a specific risk. Now, those stats need a little interpretation, because high risk pregnancies are never attended by midwives alone, so those more risky births have more undesirable outcomes.

[Mitsu3000gt]

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I am personally extremely shocked the number of you who went with either a midwife/doula or having home births rather than relying on doctors and hospitals.

Maybe it’s just a cultural thing for me but that isn’t something that would be anything resembling being on my radar.

I don't understand it either. Seems wildly irresponsible to not have both the baby and the mother at an actual hospital in case of complications or unforeseen events that could very easily be life threatening for one or both of them. Even if your mid wife is medically trained, that is nowhere near the same as being in a hospital or having access to diagnostics and an OR with surgeons. I don't get it, but each to their own.

[ExtraSlow]

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I don't understand it either. Seems wildly irresponsible to not have both the baby and the mother at an actual hospital in case of complications or unforeseen events that could very easily be life threatening for one or both of them. Even if your mid wife is medically trained, that is nowhere near the same as being in a hospital or having access to diagnostics and an OR with surgeons. I don't get it, but each to their own.

Statistics don't bear this out. It is not riskier.

I will say, before I had a pregnant wife, I knew zero about midwifes too. I thought they were some kind of medieval witch commune thing. It's a medical specialty that people don't look into until they need it, which is fine.

[Tik-Tok]

They only allow low risk births at home, and the percentage of complications that requires immediate medical equipment beyond what midwives carry, is insignificantly low. The chances of getting into a car accident to/from the hospital is higher.

[killramos]

I try to be open minded, but if the choice is between Medical Doctor, and glorified nurse ( actually I would imagine most nurses are more qualified ). I pick medical doctor all the time.

I really don’t mean to judge (and maybe my tone will come off badly), I am interested to understand your rationale, I just don’t get it at all in Canada.

States? Hey doctors and hospitals are fucking expensive, I can see why people look to other avenues. But I’ve paid more than enough taxes Here that I’ll go with the best training and facilities I can get.

My best friend is having a kid any day now and his wife is near autistic about staying as far from a hospital, doctors, and drugs as humanly possible. Neither me or him get it, but hey happy wife happy life?

[Tik-Tok]

How much involvement do you think a doctor has in a hospital birth these days? It isn't as they depict on TV.

[ExtraSlow]

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I am interested to understand your rationale, I just don’t get it at all in Canada.

Statistically better care and better outcomes. That's the driver for many people.

And yeah, being "inside" a hospital building actually doesn't increase your access to doctors by as much as you think. Nor does having a midwife decrease your access to obstetricians.

[Mitsu3000gt]

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Statistics don't bear this out. It is not riskier.

I will say, before I had a pregnant wife, I knew zero about midwifes too. I thought they were some kind of medieval witch commune thing. It's a medical specialty that people don't look into until they need it, which is fine.

I guess where I am coming from is even if the risk is 1%, why take it when it's unnecessary? It's just not worth it if the possible consequence is losing your wife and/or child, however low the chances. I know what is required to become a midwife, but no amount of training can replace a hospital. As I said, each to their own, it's just not something I will ever agree with given what's at stake.

You could make the argument that they could get into a car crash on the way home from the hospital or something which is also a possibility, but removing them from an environment where proper medical care is available should something go wrong in what is usually the most significant event in people's lives just seems extremely unnecessary IMHO.

Again, not judging and I'm glad to have the option, but I just personally will never understand it.

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They only allow low risk births at home, and the percentage of complications that requires immediate medical equipment beyond what midwives carry, is insignificantly low. The chances of getting into a car accident to/from the hospital is higher.

Who enforces that? To my knowledge nobody can stop you if you insist on a home birth, I have never heard otherwise but maybe I'm wrong.

[jwslam]

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his wife is near autistic

Maybe use different language especially when this thread is full of parents...