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Thread: School me on being a Dad

  1. #121
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    That baby carrier just get the most reasonable thing you can get. They are not in it long enough to justify it. It's when they get into a car seat, get one that will go from rear to front facing, that will last you a long ass time and will be more of an annoyance if not a good quality.

    My in-laws agreed to buy our stroller, so we bought new, and a nice one. If I were paying, 100% go used as noted above. For everything else focus on functionality first. I think we would have bought a lot more stuff used if we didn't have family giving gifts, etc.

    The biggest game changer when our kids were born was the video baby monitor which was a relatively ne thing then. Especially one that can pan and tilt remotely, or multiple cameras if it doesn't have that.

  2. #122
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    Help for the wife is a huge one. Some families use a "postpartum doula" or a "mothers helper" when they are babies. Or house cleaners, or a husband who steps up and does the majority of the "pink" chores. Or weekly babysitting/respite care for the older kids.

  3. #123
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    Don’t go overboard on clothes, especially in NB sizes. Clothes are the easiest gifts and you will likely get a lot. That and people are always peddling them online in huge quantities if you are ok with used.

    Our daughter is super into those little double arc play gym things that flash lights and sounds with hanging mobiles etc. Thing could 3/4 of the way to babysit her most of the day.

    We have a mamaroo seat, huge waste of money for our kid, she much prefers the cheappo bouncer. Try not to get too much shit because there are going to be things your kid won’t gaf about. I know lots of people who swore by the mamaroo but just shows that the kid is the one in the driver seat for those preferences etc.

    Have realistic expectations about what your life will be like post kiddo and you will be better off for it. Current covid rules of being locked up and never really seeing people, that’s your new life regardless of where covid is later in the year. At least for a while. It’s not so bad as long as you don’t expect otherwise.

    Number one thing I can say, is if you are up before mom in the morning. Grab the baby and leave to let her get a few minutes of uninterrupted sleep. It’s easy for you to hold the baby while having your morning coffee and means a lot to mom.
    Last edited by killramos; 02-14-2021 at 05:33 PM.
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.

  4. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skrilla View Post
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    So...my wife and I are expecting our first youngster in December. Neither of us had intentions of having kids before, but things changed and we have been trying. I'm just looking to see what tips are out there. What are things I should be getting together? May sound silly but I have literally no idea what to do/expect, just looking for advice haha
    Get your child into set schedules.
    Sleeping
    Eating
    Activities
    If you don’t they will rule your world. Once they become accustom to schedules they will never argue or complain about bedtime, eating, or anything really.

    Don’t spend crazy money on, car seats, strollers, cribs, etc. Waste of money.

    Simple is best.

    Don’t go crazy on brand name clothes, waste of money, they grow too fast to bother.

    Take lots of photos, memories are amazing, they grow so fast.

    Get them reading as early as possible, the more they read, the faster their brains develop.

    Keep them away from iPads and electronics, or at least limit their exposure.

    Get them involved in activities, sports, interaction with other kids, helps with social development.

    My two cents.

    Congrats and good luck. Kids are amazing!
    Last edited by 89coupe; 02-14-2021 at 11:36 PM.

  5. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
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    Never, under any circumstances, let them drink pop
    Sorry, low hanging fruit is low hanging fruit.
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExtraSlow View Post
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    Help for the wife is a huge one. Some families use a "postpartum doula" or a "mothers helper" when they are babies. Or house cleaners, or a husband who steps up and does the majority of the "pink" chores. Or weekly babysitting/respite care for the older kids.
    I hired cleaners quite regularly early on. It was always appreciated. I also picked up a nice patio set so my wife could spend as much time outside with the kids comfortably.

    Backyard essentials have been more important now than ever.

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
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    Sorry, low hanging fruit is low hanging fruit.
    Yes, why the fuck would you let a child drink pop, pure sugar, just garbage for a growing body.

  8. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
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    Yes, why the fuck would you let a child drink pop, pure sugar, just garbage for a growing body.
    Can’t argue with that one
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.

  9. #129
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    Appreciate the info / opinions. Keep them coming.

  10. #130
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    Trackhawk is the perfect family vehicle.
    I like neat cars.

  11. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by 90_Shelby View Post
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    Trackhawk is the perfect family vehicle.
    +1, and the interior is easy to clean.

  12. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExtraSlow View Post
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    +1, and the interior is easy to clean.
    Agreed. Simple basic cheaply made shapes; all plastic, non porous

  13. #133
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    Save your money and don't buy the fancy stuff. Graco has treated we well for the parts that ive conviced my wife for. Try not to buy much. 3 years later im still finding things new with tags. We had good luck with swaddlers diapers. Blow outs suck, so try s fee brands. Get used to a messy house.

    Do a birth and babies class, you'll learn some useful info, but the biggest thing is your wife will have a group of people to talk and share with about some fucking hard realities. That's my biggest piece of advice, 3 years later and we are still friends with some and most still talk weekly.

    If you have a 2 story house put a second change and nap station on the main floor.

    No need to scare you with all the hard stuff. Take lots of photos, it'll go faster than you can believe
    Last edited by dirtsniffer; 02-14-2021 at 11:31 PM.

  14. #134
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    It's true when they say The days are long, but the years are short. Can't believe our girl is turning 2 already. Feels like it was yesterday when we brought her home.

    My opinion is that there are some stuff absolutely worth splurging on (like a good baby monitor) and some stuff just go cheap or even borrow if you can since you might only need it for a couple of months. But either way, dont get it until you need it since every baby is different.

    We got so much stuff that we later realize we didn't need at all, like a bouncer/rocker or baby gates. Somehow we got away not needing either. or the infant insert for the baby carrier. That one is still BNIB.

  15. #135
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    I'm going to buck the trend here, and say that lots of the brand name baby gear is actually nicer. It may or may not be worth the full pop retail cost to you (extra 50% cost gets you 15% more quality/better design), but at a minimum it's definitely worth scouring kijiji and getting a used "nice" [insert piece of baby gear] for the same price as a new "average" [same piece of baby gear]. We have basically all higher end stuff and when we end up selling it, it's going to be very lightly used, and significantly cheaper than retail.

    If you like to spend any time outside, get a jogging stroller of some type. Doesn't necessarily have to be expensive, just have big wheels. Doing any type of outdoor walk with your normal mall cruiser Nuna or even worse yet an umbrella stroller is not great in summer, and impossible in winter if people haven't shovelled. FWIW we have a Thule chariot cross 2, and of all the expensive brand name kid stuff we have, this one is by far the most worthy of the cost. Quality is fantastic and our only experience with the warranty process (wife ripped the padding on the handle) was painless and efficient.

  16. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by cjblair View Post
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    I'm going to buck the trend here, and say that lots of the brand name baby gear is actually nicer. It may or may not be worth the full pop retail cost to you (extra 50% cost gets you 15% more quality/better design), but at a minimum it's definitely worth scouring kijiji and getting a used "nice" [insert piece of baby gear] for the same price as a new "average" [same piece of baby gear]. We have basically all higher end stuff and when we end up selling it, it's going to be very lightly used, and significantly cheaper than retail.
    Yea, this was our mindset too for the most part too. One caveat is that when we spent more money, it was something that would last a long time or serve multiple purposes. We got an expensive convertible car seat (a wool Clek Foonf), but one he stays in longer since it has a higher height limit than other car seats. This car seat is also a tank and one of the safest ones out there. A couple of other things we splurged on were his crib and high chair. Both of which you buy cheaply, but if you get a 3 in 1 or 4 in 1 crib (West Elm/Pottery Barn Mid-Century) that will last till he's 16+, it is a lot easier to open up the wallet. The high chair (Nomi) we got was one that is highly adjustable and as he grows, we just move the footrest and seat to accommodate him. When he outgrows it, it becomes a stool that's rated for 200 lbs or so. You can always buy a cheap Ikea highchair for the grandparent's house.

  17. #137
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    Screw high chairs. Fisher Price makes one that sits in a kitchen chair and is super easy to drag to others' houses.
    It's called a Space Saver. You buy meow.

  18. #138
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    Ikea is amazing for kids stuff. If they sell it, get it there. High chairs, cribs, dishes, bedding, stuffed animals etc.

  19. #139
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    We used the Ikea high chair for quite a while (>2years). In some senses it's great (cheap, reasonably easy to clean); it's got it's drawbacks too. Not adjustable, no footrest, and the legs stick out so goddamn far that every single person who walks past it will trip on them. Literally every family member, including those of us that actually live in this house, has tripped over that fucking chair.

    We replaced it with a Stokke Tripp Trapp. Granted it's 15 or 20x the cost of the ikea chair (yes, it's ridiculous), it's definitely nicer in every respect. Also highly configurable, etc. After having a cheap high chair for the first kid, and an expensive one for the second kid, for us it was definitely an item worth splurging on. It gets many hundreds of hours of use.

  20. #140
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    Scour marketplace for good things. My wife got really good at this, so we were able to score nice things that were gently used for cheap.....Things we found value in:

    Bassinest by Halo - Find a used one, use it for a couple months, and sell it for the same. This was a zero cost item for us in the end.

    Hatch Baby Grow change pad scale - Again, look for used, picked up for the price of a mid range changing pad, and is awesome for tracking feeds, tracking growth, etc.

    Boon High chair - Looks good, rolls around, easy to clean, and again can be sold for what you buy it for used

    Powered swing - Another short use item, when clean and used can be flipped for no cost

    Jolly jumper - from about 4 months on this seems to be the favorite activity, and its stupid cheap.

    V-Tech RM5764HD baby monitor - We discussed monitors for a long time. We wanted the ability to watch local while we were in the house, but also the ability to watch while we were at the neighbors, or anywhere else. This one is an authenticated remote access (so not like an IP cam), where you can watch on the local monitor and a smart phone at the same time, you can control the pan tilt, talk, listen, everything through both as well. This covers us when babysat and when I'm at work and just want to peek at him sleeping. Super happy with this purchase and the research we did.

    Little einstein activity mat or fisher price kick piano - great entertainment to put the kid down and shower, or just let him/her explore.

    Bumbo seat - kids want to be part of the action, so sometimes when the activity mat is not what they want, bumbo them on the counter to just be part of it all.

    Uppababy Cruz v2 stoller - this is one we paid full bore for, and I will admit when I was wrong. I wanted a cheaper stroller, but this thing is just made good, folds and rolls good, has tons of accessories, and hold their value for resale. Its expensive, but you'll use it lots.

    Used carseat peg perego 4-32 - This is controversial, and I admit I won't buy a carseat from just anyone. This is a friends and family or coworkers kind of deal. We got a car seat with 2 more years to go on the clock, with 2 bases for $75. Our friends bought a Mesa for $600 and had to buy another base one top of that. Guess who makes out better in the end when they graduate to a convertible in the year

    Britax convertible car seat - These are expensive but you'll use them a long time. For me, it was down to safety, comfort, adjustability as they grow (do you have to disassemble to adjust the belts? no good), and cup holders. My wife is funny with this because she makes fun of me wanting cup holders, well where do you think your kid is going to put things in their hands if there aren't places for it.......right on the perforated leather. Unfortunately you'll need 2 of these unless you want to lug a heavy seat back and forth between vehicles. Either way in our research, we liked these. Maybe a grandma wants to contribute

    Car seat protector - just get a Diono knock off from Amazon, they all do the same thing.


    Things we didn't find value in:

    Mammaroo - just a waste, glad we had this lent to us because it just wasn't as good as a swing.

    Boutique diapers, or kirklands - Just bulkier, not as nice, tended to not seal as well, and cost more. Just stick with pampers, do a subscribe and save
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