So Ya Wanna Know Aboot Options (Part 1)

[The_Rural_Juror]

Part 1 - Before The Basics

I know jackshit about options, but I have come to realize that some of yaw know jackshitter. This makes me somewhat of a local expert on this topic.

Here is the reality. If you can't pick the winners from the dddukes with regular trading, you should probably stay away from options. It will ruin you faster and harder than your wife's boyfriend on bukake night. I suppose you would be doing her a favor as she will still be fertile enough to find a better malaka after you lose her parent's RRSPs on weekly TSLA short straddles.

Don't even consider options if your meme game is weak. This is the way.

Step 1. Be at peace with why you want to get into options. Although options can provide leverage and risk reduction, most of you degenerates are too dumb to figure it out. Let's be honest - we're here for the bb.q tendies. If you like numbers, pick up a paint by numbers book for $7.99 at Costco. This ain't for you.

Step 2. Have money. You ain't buying options for free, son. You also need margin to sell options. Ain't nobody want to deal with your broke sraka, so most of yall can stop here. I recommend 7.2 MM. USD.

Step 3. Spend a shitload of time to learn yerself. I ain't talking about youtube videos made by people making money from trying to teach you options when they can't figure out themselves. I'm talking about hard core r/wsb. All day. All night. Until you start shitting out memes on your kids (the best age to start is 6 months - they too dumb before that).

Books like https://www.amazon.ca/Option-Volatil.../dp/0071818774 can help but I know most of you can't read so I hesitate to suggest more. See step 2 if you are too po' to buy it. Or just click the other link on the page for the cheaper option. If you still can't afford it, get off the Starbucks wifi and back to po' town where internet doesn't exist.

Step 4. Get an account. If you somehow manage to convince a someone to allow you to trade options, you are going to need a decent platform with good live data streams to lose your money with. Something like IBKR. You're gonn need some quick modelling and level 2 data to stand a chance.

Step 5. Put all of your mom's money on your first trade. This saves you a lot of time and anguish as you will either receive a ticket to TendieTown™, or you will lose it all. Most efficient way to save yourself from ulcers and aneurysms. Stop here if you have lost your money.

Step 6. Repeat Step 5, with your dad's/in-law's/kid's money a few more times to make sure. Never use your own money if you can help it.

Step 7. Post gain or loss memes online. Loss memes get the most clicks if you care about your rep power.

I will cover the basics in Part 2 when I can book a forklift to get my giant cock off the couch.

[BerserkerCatSplat]

Wait, this isn't /r/wallstreetbets

post tendies anyway

[The_Rural_Juror]

This is /b/centrestreetbets

[Buster]

This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote

Part 1 - Before The Basics

I know jackshit about options, but I have come to realize that some of yaw know jackshitter. This makes me somewhat of a local expert on this topic.

Here is the reality. If you can't pick the winners from the dddukes with regular trading, you should probably stay away from options. It will ruin you faster and harder than your wife's boyfriend on bukake night. I suppose you would be doing her a favor as she will still be fertile enough to find a better malaka after you lose her parent's RRSPs on weekly TSLA short straddles.

Don't even consider options if your meme game is weak. This is the way.

Step 1. Be at peace with why you want to get into options. Although options can provide leverage and risk reduction, most of you degenerates are too dumb to figure it out. Let's be honest - we're here for the bb.q tendies. If you like numbers, pick up a paint by numbers book for $7.99 at Costco. This ain't for you.

Step 2. Have money. You ain't buying options for free, son. You also need margin to sell options. Ain't nobody want to deal with your broke sraka, so most of yall can stop here. I recommend 7.2 MM. USD.

Step 3. Spend a shitload of time to learn yerself. I ain't talking about youtube videos made by people making money from trying to teach you options when they can't figure out themselves. I'm talking about hard core r/wsb. All day. All night. Until you start shitting out memes on your kids (the best age to start is 6 months - they too dumb before that).

Books like https://www.amazon.ca/Option-Volatil.../dp/0071818774 can help but I know most of you can't read so I hesitate to suggest more. See step 2 if you are too po' to buy it. Or just click the other link on the page for the cheaper option. If you still can't afford it, get off the Starbucks wifi and back to po' town where internet doesn't exist.

Step 4. Get an account. If you somehow manage to convince a someone to allow you to trade options, you are going to need a decent platform with good live data streams to lose your money with. Something like IBKR. You're gonn need some quick modelling and level 2 data to stand a chance.

Step 5. Put all of your mom's money on your first trade. This saves you a lot of time and anguish as you will either receive a ticket to TendieTown™, or you will lose it all. Most efficient way to save yourself from ulcers and aneurysms. Stop here if you have lost your money.

Step 6. Repeat Step 5, with your dad's/in-law's/kid's money a few more times to make sure. Never use your own money.

Step 7. Post gain or loss memes online. Loss memes get the most clicks if you care about your rep power.

I will cover the basics in Part 2 when I can book a forklift to get my giant cock off the couch.

post nudes ffs.

Not of you, that's fucking gross.

Of your girlfriend.

[The_Rural_Juror]

Don't lie. You are more turned on by the sight of my supplements.
#humblebrag

[Disoblige]

Take a pic of your piss. I bet it'll be more neon green than the Telus Optik standby screen on my TV right now.

[Buster]

do vitamins help you traaaaade

[The_Rural_Juror]

You probably sell better stuff for that.

[ercchry]

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do vitamins help you traaaaade

Not as well as mushroom coffee

[tcon]

I followed the smell of chicken tendies to this thread. hmmm

[The_Rural_Juror]

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I followed the smell of chicken tendies to this thread. hmmm

That's how you know you have penis cancer.