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Thread: The Dog Shit MEGA THREAD

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    Default The Dog Shit MEGA THREAD

    Quote Originally Posted by adam c View Post
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    Nah you get frowny faces for not using the double cost pet friendly version
    Is there a kind I can buy that gives the dogs ferocious, uncontrollable diarrhea so that their owners can spend some time actually cleaning up their own dog's shit?
    I'd pay extra for that. I want one with a guarantee that the dog will not make it outside before an absolute kinked garden hose spray of liquid shit paints their walls, carpet, and gets between the cracks in their shitty vinyl floor.

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    I don't think people will give you advice on poisoning dogs here.
    Quote Originally Posted by killramos View Post
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    If there is one thing I know for sure. ES has no Aspen goals

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThePenIsMightier View Post
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    Is there a kind I can buy that gives the dogs ferocious, uncontrollable diarrhea so that their owners can spend some time actually cleaning up their own dog's shit?
    I'd pay extra for that. I want one with a guarantee that the dog will not make it outside before an absolute kinked garden hose spray of liquid shit paints their walls, carpet, and gets between the cracks in their shitty vinyl floor.
    If they aren't cleaning it up when it's not diarrhea, then they certainly won't when it is!


    Today is the day I try and get my car out of the garage. Fingers crossed!!!

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    WhOoOsH!

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    Quote Originally Posted by adam c View Post
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    Nah you get frowny faces for not using the double cost pet friendly version
    I get frowny faces either way as they walk around the orangey stuff as much as the blue stuff.
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
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    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    I get frowny faces either way as they walk around the orangey stuff as much as the blue stuff.
    give them frowny faces back for not putting booties on their dog's feet and making them walk on frozen ground
    Sig nuked by mod.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThePenIsMightier View Post
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    Is there a kind I can buy that gives the dogs ferocious, uncontrollable diarrhea so that their owners can spend some time actually cleaning up their own dog's shit?
    I'd pay extra for that. I want one with a guarantee that the dog will not make it outside before an absolute kinked garden hose spray of liquid shit paints their walls, carpet, and gets between the cracks in their shitty vinyl floor.
    I dunno based on the inability of dogs to process food these days I’d just spread a bag of Costco high fat dog food around.

    Most people I know’s dogs shit if they even look at the wrong food.
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
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    I wish I could catch these phantom dog owners who don't pick up poop. I always see the result but never the act live. I'm ready to be a vigilante, and it involves poop being thrown

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    Wait, there is stuff I can spread on my sidewalk area that will make dog owners avoid walking by my yard? Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Can I get something for the summer too?

    Also: there is nothing more hilarious to me than watchin people lean over to pick up the feces of a lower mammal, while that mammal stares at them thinking "ya, man, you're my biatch." I notice when we are out walking, and someone is bending over at the waist to pick up a pile of SHIT, that they won't make eye contact or say hi after that. They stare at the sidewalk in front of them, with their tied up baggie-of-shame held low, refusing to look at or acknowledge the mixture of mirth and disgust that must be written all over my face. We are conditioned to think that it is normal, I suppose, that people might go to school for 20 years, work hard, learn a profession, buy a nice house in the burbs, buy a nice vehicle, but at the end of the day be reduced to picking up warm, steaming excrement with their hands.

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    Most dogs deserve higher status than some humans. Also, picking dog poop is better than picking up human poop. Now that would be a power move if you had to pick up human shit.

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    Picking up non diarrhea dog shit isn’t even remotely as bad as some of you think. I got over it after my first week of owning a dog. Now it’s basically nothing and I have 0 shame holding a bag of shit continuing on the walk.

    After having kids and dealing with a few diaper blowouts, dogs are easy Peasy. I suppose It helps to have a smaller dog that is on a consistent diet. If I had a massive 100+ lber who ate food that made it have diarrhea all the time then maybe it would be a different story

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster View Post
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    Wait, there is stuff I can spread on my sidewalk area that will make dog owners avoid walking by my yard? Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Can I get something for the summer too?

    Also: there is nothing more hilarious to me than watchin people lean over to pick up the feces of a lower mammal, while that mammal stares at them thinking "ya, man, you're my biatch." I notice when we are out walking, and someone is bending over at the waist to pick up a pile of SHIT, that they won't make eye contact or say hi after that. They stare at the sidewalk in front of them, with their tied up baggie-of-shame held low, refusing to look at or acknowledge the mixture of mirth and disgust that must be written all over my face. We are conditioned to think that it is normal, I suppose, that people might go to school for 20 years, work hard, learn a profession, buy a nice house in the burbs, buy a nice vehicle, but at the end of the day be reduced to picking up warm, steaming excrement with their hands.
    LoL!! Totally. Edit - you could replace "lower mammals" with chattels... That's also funny.
    My previous bacon comment was based on a Rep message from a very clever user who suggested that one should drizzle bacon fat on the mountains of rogue dog shit. This will encourage other dogs to eat it which will:
    a) make the dog sick later and have blowies all over their moron owner's floor
    b) Make the owner vomit when they look up from their phone, too late to ask it nicely to stop.
    That's a win-win if I've ever heard one!


    To agonizingly clarify... It's a joke about irresponsible dog owners finally being forced to clean up their dogs' shit. If you send pETA after me, I better get to see Pamela Anderson's puppies... I'm super super happy that 111% of you fondle your dog's warm turds and don't leave heaps of shit behind.
    Last edited by ThePenIsMightier; 12-29-2020 at 06:50 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThePenIsMightier View Post
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    LoL!! Totally.
    My previous bacon comment was based on a Rep message from a very clever user who suggested that one should drizzle bacon fat on the mountains of rogue dog shit. This will encourage other dogs to eat it which will:
    a) make the dog sick later and have blowies all over their moron owner's floor
    b) Make the owner vomit when they look up from their phone, too late to ask it nicely to stop.
    That's a win-win if I've ever heard one!


    To agonizingly clarify... It's a joke about irresponsible dog owners finally being forced to clean up their dogs' shit. If you send pETA after me, I better get to see Pamela Anderson's puppies... I'm super super happy that 111% of you fondle your dog's warm turds and don't leave heaps of shit behind.
    Dog shit is only warm when the snow isn't around In the winter you grab some snow with that poop and its just fine

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    Quote Originally Posted by firebane View Post
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    Dog shit is only warm when the snow isn't around In the winter you grab some snow with that poop and its just fine
    It's not the worm filled dog feces squishing between your fingers that's the main problem (although that's obviously disgusting).

    It's the fact that people voluntarily abrogate their position as apex predator. If I was a less couth man, I'd call it a version of cucking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster View Post
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    It's not the worm filled dog feces squishing between your fingers that's the main problem (although that's obviously disgusting).

    It's the fact that people voluntarily abrogate their position as apex predator. If I was a less couth man, I'd call it a version of cucking.
    Who pissed in your flakes lately lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by firebane View Post
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    Who pissed in your flakes lately lol
    I'm just having fun lol.

    My brother actually has a dog and I really like it. Although he knows better than to ask me to pick up it's poop.

    Also people let their dog shit on my lawn and think it's fine as long as they pick it up.

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    Shitting on private property is a no-no and any respectful dog owner knows that.

    Chances are a dog with worm filled poop is a crap owner anyways who wouldn't pick up poop. Probably same owner who don't give dogs shots either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Disoblige View Post
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    Shitting on private property is a no-no and any respectful dog owner knows that.

    Chances are a dog with worm filled poop is a crap owner anyways who wouldn't pick up poop. Probably same owner who don't give dogs shots either.
    People's dogs are on my front lawn all the time. I didn't know that it was a no no. There's an amazing sense of entitlement with people in general I think.

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    Having a dog unfortunately breeds an incredibly above average sense of entitlement.
    Originally posted by Thales of Miletus

    If you think I have been trying to present myself as intellectually superior, then you truly are a dimwit.
    Originally posted by Toma
    fact.

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    I thought I was a dog person until I had a kid. Not planning on another pet after this for a long time. Also every dog in the neighborhood pisses all over my tree out front.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gestalt View Post
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    Im the one with a learning disability....

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