Having kids: anyone regret it?

[Tik-Tok]

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You know what's even harder? Seeing your kids fighting over who should (or not) take care of you.

There are plenty of fucking idiots out there. And don't underestimate peer pressure, especially people with babies loves to show them off.

The trick is to only have one kid so there's nothing to fight over. Either they're helping you, or they aren't.

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When you're old, who's going to teach you how to use (insert the 2050's version of Tik-Tok)?

I'm pretty user friendly, but if you want your 20 year old daughter to teach you how to use me, I'm game.

[Masked Bandit]

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@kJUMP if the sleep thing is killing you, check out kitty raymond. Literally saved our lives. Don't reccomend for anyone who isn't already desperate though.

Went this route with our second, had the send the wife to sleep in the basement while I played the bad guy on second floor. Only took three days though, would recommend.

[Manhattan]

Best way to describe having kids is you're less happy but more fulfilled. Looking back at my single days it I was really just a man child and damn was it fun. Fulfillment is great in a completely different way.

[roopi]

All I can add is if you aren't sure freeze some eggs now so you have the option later. It could end up saving you a lot of money in the future.

[ExtraSlow]

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Went this route with our second, had the send the wife to sleep in the basement while I played the bad guy on second floor. Only took three days though, would recommend.

When we did our kitty Raymond sleep training, I sent my wife away for the night. If anyone wants a more detailed chat about this stuff PM me. Some things are too personal to share on the internet, even for me.

[jutes]

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Mid 30's now and has been a subject between the woman and I, between moving cross country recently and now Covid...seems like bad timing and on the verge of hitting the too late factor.

Interesting thread as this is something we're actively trying to decide upon.

Same boat, mid-30s and not sure yet.

We met in our early 30s and with COVID and postponing the wedding, time goes by and we are getting older now. Get married first then decide, not that being married has anything to do with having kids, but no point trying until then. We both have good paying full-time jobs in specialized careers and are essentially free to do whatever. Take time off, drop the doggo with the mother and off we go. Not having that freedom would be a big change, haven't decided.

[Xtrema]

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Same boat, mid-30s and not sure yet.

We met in our early 30s and with COVID and postponing the wedding, time goes by and we are getting older now. Get married first then decide, not that being married has anything to do with having kids, but no point trying until then. We both have good paying full-time jobs in specialized careers and are essentially free to do whatever. Take time off, drop the doggo with the mother and off we go. Not having that freedom would be a big change, haven't decided.

Have to say that late 30s is probably deadline for having kids unless you are super healthy or super rich.

Once you are into 40s, you may be more financially set but physically may be tough to handle.

[kobe tai]

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dont know if you mean 2020 or 2021 but condolences man, raising 1 toddler is a lot of work already, cant imagine raising 2 young kids alone.

zero regrets having our daughter, it is a lot of work but very rewarding, nothing beats finishing work and spending some time with her.
not looking forward to the teenage stage lol.

same thing with my wife, she never thought she wanted to have kids until we had ours.

we have some friends that don't have kids and they are happy too, it is their choice and lifestyle.

Sorry it was in spring of 2020... So have a few months under my belt of single parenting now.. I have a good support system so able to manage.

[JfuckinC]

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When we did our kitty Raymond sleep training, I sent my wife away for the night. If anyone wants a more detailed chat about this stuff PM me. Some things are too personal to share on the internet, even for me.

why are you being so weird about this? It's just letting your baby cry itself to sleep no? I'd be way too fucking soft to do it myself I think I wont lie lol

5 months today, so far i don't hate it. I lived a pretty selfish life before this so it's been a steep learning curve though. will report back in a couple years.....

[ExtraSlow]

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why are you being so weird about this? It's just letting your baby cry itself to sleep no? I'd be way too fucking soft to do it myself I think I wont lie lol

That's the best description, but it's crazy controversial. There's a lot of "what if" stuff in most peoples minds about it.

Partly I'm being weird about it because booth my wife and I have PTSD from that stage of our parenting journey. It legit nearly broke us, and I don't think we've ever truly recovered.

[killramos]

Fucking kids eh

[jutes]

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Have to say that late 30s is probably deadline for having kids unless you are super healthy or super rich.

Once you are into 40s, you may be more financially set but physically may be tough to handle.

We are both in good shape physically and good enough overall financially. Fucking student-related debts never seem to disappear. No way we will be having kids in our 40s, the risks are just too high. Wedding is planned for this fall and probably within a year make a decision before she is 35. If it works out I'll be retired, for the most part, in my early 40s and the kid will just be entering grade school. Always wanted to be a stay-at-home dad lol.

[Buster]

Do people really want to retire in their early 40s?

[lil*tymer]

Mid 30's with a 5 month old, don't regret it at all. We lived a good life up until now with lots of travelling and self indulgence. Your priorities do change and you just try and be he best parent you can. He was sleeping good but has regressed and now wakes up a few times a night. Still it really is the best ever.

Do most of you guys just let them cry it out? I've read about increased cortisol levels and then increased anxiousness as a result for the baby. Does not know if we should try that yet.

[kobe tai]

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Do people really want to retire in their early 40s?

Retire from a 9 to 5 then yes... Although my goal is late 40s

[vengie]

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Do people really want to retire in their early 40s?

If I remember correctly Jutes is military (CAF?), meaning he will likely pension out in early 40's (if he entered at ~18)

Good opportunity to start a second career with the benefit of added pension.

If this is the case, good on you Jutes.

[rx7boi]

For those of you with kids, what would have made the child-rearing experience better?

Money to buy the support that you need? More family/in-law support?

[Buster]

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If I remember correctly Jutes is military (CAF?), meaning he will likely pension out in early 40's (if he entered at ~18)

Good opportunity to start a second career with the benefit of added pension.

If this is the case, good on you Jutes.

I guess I think of being retired as no longer working.

[Cagare]

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For those of you with kids, what would have made the child-rearing experience better?

Money to buy the support that you need? More family/in-law support?

Have them at a younger age.

[vengie]

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I guess I think of being retired as no longer working.

Yeah fair enough.
Personally I see retirement as chasing/ following hobbies, however I will always hold some semblance of a job - My Grandpa for example retired and became a part time course marshal at a golf course, Worked 8hrs/ week, golfed for free 7days/week.