Having kids: anyone regret it?

[Disoblige]

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Tha Campus Chat subforum is sure going to be buzzing with activity.

killramos jr. will post champ of 2046 on the entire forum. mark this post.

[ExtraSlow]

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killramos jr. will post champ of 2046 on the entire forum. mark this post.

Quoted for posterity.

[max_boost]

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We are here pretty much born to reproduce.

everyones life is different.

when you get 80 years old and have no kids it can be very hard.

Think of the long term
Time is going faster even for the young people its not always about aging

Imo If you don’t have kids I hope you have your finances in order, constantly improve yourself so you can deal with being alone vs codependent. I understand that having a family can be tremendously rewarding as the quality of your life is dependent on the quality of your relationships. Myself I’ve had several opportunities but for one reason or another I never settled down but as I get older I’m definitely more open to it now. Perhaps I’ve done the deep work as they say and really know who I am now.

[killramos]

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Tha Campus Chat subforum is sure going to be buzzing with activity.

I can only imagine how useless Post secondary education will be in 18 years.

- - - Updated - - -

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killramos jr. will post champ of 2046 on the entire forum. mark this post.

Not going to be much else to do once you graduate from high school and slide into Mincome.

[JfuckinC]

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That's the best description, but it's crazy controversial. There's a lot of "what if" stuff in most peoples minds about it.

Partly I'm being weird about it because booth my wife and I have PTSD from that stage of our parenting journey. It legit nearly broke us, and I don't think we've ever truly recovered.

Fair enough, sorry to hear that.

[max_boost]

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That's the best description, but it's crazy controversial. There's a lot of "what if" stuff in most peoples minds about it.

Partly I'm being weird about it because booth my wife and I have PTSD from that stage of our parenting journey. It legit nearly broke us, and I don't think we've ever truly recovered.

just like Beyonders thinking they could have been millionaires before 30 what if

Jokes aside, dang extra. Hugs.

[89coupe]

No regrets, most rewarding experiences in my life.

[Disoblige]

Damn '17 'ramos was a wise one.

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Lol as if having kids somehow guarantees you prevention from growing up old and lonely.

Turn 65 they apply for power of attorney, take your money, stick you in a home, and come visit you on Christmas and your birthday.

The only thing you are truly guaranteed to be to them is a burden one day or the next. A burden they will put up with to make sure they are still written in the will.

GG future 'ramos.

[austic]

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why are you being so weird about this? It's just letting your baby cry itself to sleep no? I'd be way too fucking soft to do it myself I think I wont lie lol

5 months today, so far i don't hate it. I lived a pretty selfish life before this so it's been a steep learning curve though. will report back in a couple years.....

it gets way better, first 9 months or so is the rough part.

[killramos]

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Damn '17 'ramos was a wise one.

GG future 'ramos.

I don’t disagree with any of it lmao

[Tik-Tok]

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I don’t disagree with any of it lmao

I disagree with the age. They don't try that until you're in your 70's.

[JfuckinC]

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it gets way better, first 9 months or so is the rough part.

i cant wait for the fun.... i just wanna play with the kid, she just wants to eat all her toys

Seems like beyond has lots of new parents

[killramos]

Age demographic aren’t on our side anymore.

Kids don’t go on bc forums lol

[shakalaka]

I think it would be hard for someone to say that they regret having a kid, even if they sort of feel that way at times. Haha.

I am 34 and my wife is 32. We've talked about this a lot. We are both focussed on our careers and are professionals. Sometimes I feel I don't want any kids and sometimes I think I will regret not having any when I am older. The wife as much as she wants to concentrate on her career says she only want 1 kid. I feel if having one, then should at least have two. Either way our time is now as if it gets much later it only gets hard to conceive and all other complications etc. So I would like to have at least one I think and depending on how that goes possibly a second. Or we have also discussed adopting one from an impoverished country and just having the first one of our own.

[Xtrema]

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I think it would be hard for someone to say that they regret having a kid, even if they sort of feel that way at times. Haha.

I am 34 and my wife is 32. We've talked about this a lot. We are both focussed on our careers and are professionals. Sometimes I feel I don't want any kids and sometimes I think I will regret not having any when I am older. The wife as much as she wants to concentrate on her career says she only want 1 kid. I feel if having one, then should at least have two. Either way our time is now as if it gets much later it only gets hard to conceive and all other complications etc. So I would like to have at least one I think and depending on how that goes possibly a second. Or we have also discussed adopting one from an impoverished country and just having the first one of our own.

If you can, you should have 2. 1 sucks. I have seen many very mentally unhealthy only child.

If you only have one, better build up a huge circle of friends with kids in the same age bracket.

Of course that become a huge challenge last year under COVID.

[nzwasp]

I have a 5 year old and an 8 year old (both girls) and I had the oldest when I was 32. I love both my kids but I do miss having time to myself on weekends and at night, and sleeping in. I also miss spending time with my wife who feels touched out most of the time, Im guessing by the time this resolves itself she will be menopausal...

Although im glad I have 2 girls who are mostly relaxed - I have friends with boys and its just loud, crazy and high energy all the time and the parents are exhausted. Most of our friends who had kids after us only had one as well and can't understand why parenting is so hard for parents who have more than one.

Regarding retirement, my wife hopes to retire if her company lays her off this year, I told her she can do whatever she wants but if she wants to take some extended time off then she will have to chill her expectations of paying off the mortgage anytime soon and also never expect to go on vacation again. I cant imagine retiring until im late 60s or 70 - I think I would just be too bored at home all day.

[Xtrema]

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If you can, you should have 2. 1 sucks. I have seen many very mentally unhealthy only child.

If you only have one, better build up a huge circle of friends with kids in the same age bracket.

Of course that become a huge challenge last year under COVID.

Looks like I got downvoted on this view.

I have to say it's definitely anecdotal (based on a friend's batshit crazy ex and another friend who only has 1 kid trying hard to keep her social under COVID) and based on result of China's long standing 1 child policy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_emperor_syndrome

[sabad66]

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it gets way better, first 9 months or so is the rough part.

completely disagree based on my experience. they are way harder to deal once they become a toddler and start walking because you have to watch them constantly or keep them busy. first 7 months they just sleep or sit there when they aren't breastfeeding.

sure you can just turn on the TV or give them a tablet once they are toddlers, but that's pretty unhealthy if you do it too much.

[revelations]

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We are here pretty much born to reproduce.

I would respectfully disagree. We are here to learn and grow as a being. Having kids can either assist or hinder this.

If you dont want kids, then dont. I was on the fence until I met my wife and then it was clear that I wanted to raise a child in a good household (unlike our parents).

[RX_EVOLV]

I'll add my experience as I had a very similar conversation with a friend yesterday. We currently have a 22 months old and at some point in the near future we will plan for #2. It was all planned out. By that I mean we did everything we wanted to do in our 20s: the traveling, going out, etc. Once we got that out of our systems we settled down together, got married, traded in my little pocket rocket for a SUV, bought a house with a big yard that's close to the schools we like, make sure we are financially stable for it all, and then finally tried for a kid. .

I can honestly say zero regrets but we were fully aware of what we signed up for. My wife really enjoyed her pregnancy and we had no issues raising the infant, even through all the sleepless nights. We knew that was just part of the journey so we weren't too stressed about it, and it is SO rewarding watching her grow; from lifting her head for the first time, to rolling over, to smiling, taking the first step, etc.. still put a smile on my face every time I think back at those moments. We even took her to Europe when she was 6 months old and that was a joy. Looking back, there honestly wasn't a single moment where I asked myself why I signed up for this.

That said, the few things I also realized as we are going through this process:

1) Having family support is SOOO important. We are so fortunate to have supportive Grandparents to help out, especially when both my wife and I have to work full-time, or those nights where we just want to go out for a nice Friday night dinner. It would be 100X harder without that support.
2) We are so glad we waited until we are more financially stable to do this. This would be so much harder if we had to do this in a small apartment or if we have to plan out our monthly budget just to buy diapers ($) or formula ($$$$).
3) I'm also appreciative that my wife and I are both 100% ready to have kids and to go through this process. I can EASILY see that if one of the partners is not committed/ready for kid and not ready/willing to give up the kidless lifestyle like going for wings night, being home all weekend, or even waking up at 3am to feed the kid even though work starts at 8am, then it could create alot of tension and resentment, making the child raising process so much much difficult. I have alot of respect for all the single parents out there and I don't think I can do it alone.