Two working parents damages chldren - Daycare is evil?

[birdman86]

All I can say is my niece/nephew went into daycare and they're so much better for it. They were pretty timid/quiet kids before but now they're super confident and outgoing. The difference is staggering so to my awkward introverted self (who never went to daycare btw) that's worth it right there.

[Twin_Cam_Turbo]

If my fiancé ever wants to stop working outside of mat leave we are fucked lol.

[Swank]

DINK life for life.

Meanwhile a guy I work with just found out he has identical twins on the way to go with his toddler, he already looks defeated.

[gretz]

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It only works better if the stay at home parent is mentally healthy themselves, and keeps the kid socialized as well.

My ex wife refused to work, stayed home, got high, and left my little dude in a high chair for hours before I tossed the bitch, does that count?

[haggis88]

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DINK life for life.

Meanwhile a guy I work with just found out he has identical twins on the way to go with his toddler, he already looks defeated.

Thats me right now...do you work with me? Haha, although mine are fraternal, not identical

I am defeated though, we're going to Scotland next month and that's the last time I'll be outside of Canada for the next 10-15 years I surmise, if ever again.

I'll also never own another house or a car of my own again

It's great

[tirebob]

My wife stayed home and raised our kids like a champ! Always had them involved with other kids and social programs and was there for them virtually every step of the way. We lived like broke jokes and ended up deep in debt but we found our way through it all, kids are now well adjusted adults who work and pay their own bills in life and we have a super tight family unit. Shit, my kids get along well enough the the two of them are roommates and share an apartment together going on 3 years now to save money and have zero issues doing it.

I think it was a win all around.

That said, it all comes down to your own situation and what you and your spouse can handle together. We never felt the need to chase money and valued the family unit being always together higher. If you are the opposite where finances dictates your comfort and happiness, who is anyone else to argue?

[Swank]

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Thats me right now...do you work with me? Haha, although mine are fraternal, not identical

I am defeated though, we're going to Scotland next month and that's the last time I'll be outside of Canada for the next 10-15 years I surmise, if ever again.

I'll also never own another house or a car of my own again

It's great

Your next and final purchase should be a bumper sticker that says "At least it wasn't triplets." Good luck though, I bet you'll have a lot of surprisingly good moments that only come with twins.

[JfuckinC]

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I used to be able to have my wife stay home, when I lost my job it became harder to be happy about. It's been a touchy subject, I don't make what I used to and she doesn't want to work, but still wants to have them in daycare/programs to give her relief.
Over time it's created a little resentment, she refuses to work part time while the kids are in someone else's care... so now we have the increased cost, decreased income and an educated individual earning no income. We're both parenting in the evenings, but one of us is getting a break most days... also, why get a degree if you don't plan to use it?... The status quo used to be fine, but we can't sustain. Is asking for a little sacrifice reasonable?

I'd be losing my mind if that was my situation, sorry to hear that. Everyone needs to contribute in my mind. Looking after kids and working are the two big contribution to a family so.... pick one or the other in my eyes.

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"having someone else rasie your kids" is a weird way to look at daycare IMO. I'd love if my wife was a stay at home mom, but she values her job (not the money) and that's fine to me. But i also see the value in our daughter going to dayhome, she learns there, get's to interact and learn with other kids. i dont see that as someone raising my kid, more so someone teaching my kid to survive with out me or mom and learn and thrive. When my wife goes on mat leave for number two we're going to do part time daycare which i think is the best of both worlds.

[mr2mike]

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DINK life for life.

Meanwhile a guy I work with just found out he has identical twins on the way to go with his toddler, he already looks defeated.

Worst!
Twins first is best. But I'll reserve judgement.
Family tree doesn't look good. Twins everywhere!

[killramos]

I don’t think anything scares me more than the concept of twins

[ExtraSlow]

Brothers, have I told you how wonderful vasectomies are?

[dirtsniffer]

my wife prefers abstinence.

[sabad66]

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I used to be able to have my wife stay home, when I lost my job it became harder to be happy about. It's been a touchy subject, I don't make what I used to and she doesn't want to work, but still wants to have them in daycare/programs to give her relief.
Over time it's created a little resentment, she refuses to work part time while the kids are in someone else's care... so now we have the increased cost, decreased income and an educated individual earning no income. We're both parenting in the evenings, but one of us is getting a break most days... also, why get a degree if you don't plan to use it?... The status quo used to be fine, but we can't sustain. Is asking for a little sacrifice reasonable?

Shitty deal but have you at least applied for the daycare subsidy? You’re only eligible if both parents work, but you can still get 4 months if you say your spouse is looking for work

[bjstare]

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You’re only eligible if both parents work, but you can still get 4 months if you say your spouse is looking for work

That's a trigger for me, it's horse shit. With my daughter going to preschool a couple times a week now, I was told I can get a bit of a cash for it... but if you make over $xxxk/yr, or have one parent at home, you're ineligible. Just add it to the list of methods to distribute my tax dollars to everyone but me.

[killramos]

You can also split the write off if your wife happens to take courses at any time as a pro tip.

[ExtraSlow]

The Daycare subsidy is bullshit virtue signaling and doesn't accomplish it's goals.

[vengie]

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Brothers, have I told you how wonderful vasectomies are?

Can't wait.

But my wife would leave me if I went before we both agreed.

2.5year old and a 4 week old... I was ready two weeks ago.

[killramos]

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Can't wait.

But my wife would leave me if I went before we both agreed.

2.5year old and a 4 week old... I was ready two weeks ago.

What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her

[suntan]

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The Daycare subsidy is bullshit virtue signaling and doesn't accomplish it's goals.

Yes. The number of people that can take advantage of it is miniscule.

[ExtraSlow]

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Can't wait.

But my wife would leave me if I went before we both agreed.

2.5year old and a 4 week old... I was ready two weeks ago.

Pics of wife and how much do you make? #interested.