Pour a gallon of poisonous bleach directly into my drinking water well. Run the taps to circulate it through my system and let it sit. Run taps "for awhile" and then start drinking it again.
How The Fuck is this a thoroughly recommended and frequently used procedure!???!
If I'm drinking shit, I don't think cleaning my straw before I drink more shit is going to do much.
What do others know that I don't?