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Thread: Fake coronavirus news! I am not running out of toilet paper!

  1. #1
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    Default Fake coronavirus news! I am not running out of toilet paper!

    In these trying times, it's important not to spread false rumors that could incite panic.

    To reassure everyone, no matter if they are friends, #phans, or business associates, please be advised, my household IS NOT running out of toilet paper.

    Current reserves are 21 double rolls.

    Please remain calm, and be reassured.
    @The_Rural_Juror should be ashamed.
    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I almost shat myself after eating way too much at lunch with @killramos so ya, we can start the diaper thread now.

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    And I don’t even have wine white... only one rose, but I do have some bubbles!

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    Down to 48 beers. Found 3.5g of pot in my cabinet though, so I am actually up a bit on my pot reserves with 30g on-hand at this time.

    Note that I am out of edibles and chocolate covered M&M's. Amazon to the rescue.

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    Why the fuck can't I make the thread title in all caps? CENSORSHIP!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I almost shat myself after eating way too much at lunch with @killramos so ya, we can start the diaper thread now.

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    Do the Borg even poop?

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    Did you receive a lot of concerned calls from the collective?
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
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    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tik-Tok View Post
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    Do the Borg even poop?
    Not often. Thier diet is optimized for nutrition not bulk.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Did you receive a lot of concerned calls from the collective?
    I receive thier concerns directly through the hive mind.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thier concerns are my concerns.
    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I almost shat myself after eating way too much at lunch with @killramos so ya, we can start the diaper thread now.

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    Star Trek is lyfe.

    New Picard isn’t half bad.
    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents... some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age."

    -H.P. Lovecraft

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    I am... Would you Calgary fuckers stop coming here to clean out our stores... 2 triple rolls left.

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    Pfft, everyone knows the superior roll is the mega roll with holder extender.
    Lake mead tier 2a shortage. 12 generator shutdown at Hoover Dam.

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    I see the criminal has updated his count to be more reflective of reality. I hope he's learned his lesson and will no longer be spreading these vicous and dangerous falsehoods.
    TP Inventory 2020-03-21.PNG
    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I almost shat myself after eating way too much at lunch with @killramos so ya, we can start the diaper thread now.

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    Howmuchtoiletpaper.com
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
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    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Howmuchtoiletpaper.com
    You will last 31 days

    And my wife (not named Karen but for this exercise we will call her Karen) is freaking out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ianmcc View Post
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    You will last 31 days

    And my wife (not named Karen but for this exercise we will call her Karen) is freaking out.
    As she should be we are going to be locked down for 18 months.
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
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    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

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    Holy hell, I estimated 90 days long quarantine and I'm not going to make that.....
    Screenshot_20200322-082418.jpg
    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I almost shat myself after eating way too much at lunch with @killramos so ya, we can start the diaper thread now.

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    Glad I was able to help you out of your false sense of security.

    Panic on.
    Quote Originally Posted by 89coupe View Post
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    Beyond, bunch of creme puffs on this board.
    Everything I say is satire.

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    I did drink about 14 beers yesterday. I'm at much less than a 38 day supply of that.
    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I almost shat myself after eating way too much at lunch with @killramos so ya, we can start the diaper thread now.

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    This Coronavirus shit is killing my weight loss! I canít shop daily for fresh veggies and my home is stocked up and living on pretty much pure carbs and frozen meat. Combining stress eating and post-apocalyptic food options, when this is all over I am going to have gained back at least half of what I lost or more I think... FML

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    Need some exercise. Go chop down a tree or something on the back 40.
    Quote Originally Posted by rage2 View Post
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    I almost shat myself after eating way too much at lunch with @killramos so ya, we can start the diaper thread now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Rural_Juror View Post
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    Howmuchtoiletpaper.com
    Insufficient data. Does not ask gender of people using. Females always use more than males.

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