How Are Your Kids Doing in School in 2023?

[ThePenIsMightier]

While I may say mine seem smart, if I didn't dictate what they wear outside, they would've died at least 3 years ago. And they're no further ahead in wardrobe selection to this day!!
The dumbest fucking questions about what they think they can wear outside when it's cold. I've tried employing some problem solving skills with them but they don't seem to be able to recognize that the other side of that glass is 30 degrees colder.

[ExtraSlow]

You need to stop doing that. Let them be cold. Let thier coldness be uncomfortable. Let it ruin an activity.

[Gman.45]

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I know nothing of High school here and my wife rarely talks about her school days, but if I had applied to University in Scotland after high school, they'd be looking at what I scored on the exact same exam papers as anyone else in the country who had sat it.

So even though there's a provincial curriculum, not everyone sits the same exam in each subject?

Do you sit exams at age 16 (mandatory), 17 and 18 (electives) here?

Isn't it hard to write your exams when you're sitting on them?

[Manhattan]

3 things to remember:

- Apple never falls far from the tree. Their genes are 100% combination of you and your partners. Teachers say they are never surprised when meeting parents when they either have a problem or gifted child
- Kids are resilient AF. Youth is powerful in that you can endure bad times easily than if you were an adult. COVID wasn't great but everyone had the same handicap and prior generations had it tougher (WW, great depression, etc.)
- Environment & parenting doesn't matter much at the end of the day. There are countless studies studying identical vs fraternal twins, separated identical twins, sibling adoptions and unanimous that parents & environment doesn't have a significant impact on just about every factor from intelligence/education level to health & happiness and even political beliefs

This is all good news because it means you can relax. There's going to be the day to day ups & downs of life & adolescence but they will largely turn out fine if you turned out fine because its nearly all about nature rather than nurture. It's silly we're still having the nature vs nurture debate because the science settled it long ago. The debate is only happening because there's a huge industry that benefits from nurture.

The whole college admissions thing is the only thing you can affect because its been gamed. But you get virtually the same education at all the schools once you're in. As Bill Burr correctly pointed out all the celebs that cheated their dumb kids into elite schools had no issues with academics once they got in. College academics is mostly about prestige and as far as I know it's not as much of an issue in Canada vs employers valuing ivy league/private schools in the US.

[bjstare]

So it's been unequivocally proven that it doesn't matter what I do as a parent, given that I'm objectively successful in life now, there's no way my daughter will end up marrying a deadbeat and starting an onlyfans?

What a weight off my chest. Brb, headed to the liquor store and dispensary. Time to kick it into neutral, baby.

[spike98]

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- Apple never falls far from the tree. Their genes are 100% combination of you and your partners. Teachers say they are never surprised when meeting parents when they either have a problem or gifted child

- Environment & parenting doesn't matter much at the end of the day. There are countless studies studying identical vs fraternal twins, separated identical twins, sibling adoptions and unanimous that parents & environment doesn't have a significant impact on just about every factor from intelligence/education level to health & happiness and even political beliefs
.

These are contradictory in your statement. Also, that last bullet is going to need some sources. Not one, but many because if you are your "studies" are right, you may want to go chat with BLM and Every Child Matters movements...

[Manhattan]

What's contractidory about those statements?

There's dozens upon dozens of these academic studies mostly from the past 2 centuries in US and Europe. Feel free to search them out. This isn't an academic space so I won't bother citing every reference.

[spike98]

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What's contractidory about those statements?

There's dozens upon dozens of these academic studies mostly from the past 2 centuries in US and Europe. Feel free to search them out. This isn't an academic space so I won't bother citing every reference.

Ahhh the "Look it up" response. Solid backstop to a credible argument. Tell me, was there some statistical marth used in these studies?

When you say the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" then commenting on behavioural observations than can be made by teachers of the parents you are saying that parrenting (these behaviours, as children learn by observation) have a one to one relationship with the childs behaviours. This is also a component of the childs environment.

Then you go to say, naw your good, parenting and environment don't matter. I am without words...

[Manhattan]

Apple doesn't fall from the tree implies hereditary traits inherited by kids not behavioral. Thought that was generally understood.

I'm opening a door for your own research because there's mounds of papers out there all pointing in the same direction but just because I said look it up this isn't an academic forum where people cite references entails what I referenced to be not true? Where's the logic?

[Manhattan]

You're right in that children learn by modeling behaviors but it's a basic form of early learning that doesn't necessarily translate to the eventual adult. Research (again plenty of it) shows kids are like plastic in the sense that they might model behavior of their adoptive parents but will eventually become much more alike to their biological parents.

I'm okay with people being critical of ideas, I'm actual welcoming of it because that's how you learn. But please don't insult the person especially when the knowledge on the subject is limited and without presenting any sound ideas to the contrary.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Apple doesn't fall from the tree implies hereditary traits inherited by kids not behavioral. Thought that was generally understood...

It's understood to mean both nature & nurture and that's also how you presented it with the teacher meeting the parents example. Do you think the teacher inspected the parents' genes, or inspected the parents' jeans when Cletus and Tammy-Lynn walked in for parent/teacher night?

That's why you're taking heat on this.

[Manhattan]

I'm taking heat because the idea is so contrary to popular belief. They crucified Jesus too y'know My immediate words following the 'apples' statement was 'Their genes are 100% combination of you and your partners'.

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So it's been unequivocally proven that it doesn't matter what I do as a parent, given that I'm objectively successful in life now, there's no way my daughter will end up marrying a deadbeat and starting an onlyfans?

What a weight off my chest. Brb, headed to the liquor store and dispensary. Time to kick it into neutral, baby.

Sensing some sarcastic disbelief but short answer is yes. To get a bit philosophical even if it's been somehow proven that life is 100% deterministic but you still don't know what happens next it should, for the most part, not affect how you go about your daily life. What this means for parenting is you can kick aside all extracurricular crap like Taekwondo, 3 other sports, and private school tuitions.

Anecdotally I've seen this play out over and over again. In-laws were booksmart libertarian parents who were completely hands off and let kids do their thing without any guidance or help. Their kids all have advanced degrees including an ivy leaguer on full ride scholarship. On the other hand you see rich people who made a fortune in real estate (every dumb rich guy ever) thru lucky idiot phenomenon struggle to help their dumb kids thru private school.

[killramos]

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So it's been unequivocally proven that it doesn't matter what I do as a parent, given that I'm objectively successful in life now, there's no way my daughter will end up marrying a deadbeat and starting an onlyfans?

What a weight off my chest. Brb, headed to the liquor store and dispensary. Time to kick it into neutral, baby.

This is the way

[ThePenIsMightier]

Explain pro athletes.
Why isn't Connor McDavid's father Wayne Gretzky and why is his brother an extremely regular person.

[killramos]

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Explain pro athletes.
Why isn't Connor McDavid's father Wayne Gretzky and why is his brother an extremely regular person.

Ask his mom

[suntan]

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I'm taking heat because the idea is so contrary to popular belief. They crucified Jesus too y'know My immediate words following the 'apples' statement was 'Their genes are 100% combination of you and your partners'.



Sensing some sarcastic disbelief but short answer is yes. To get a bit philosophical even if it's been somehow proven that life is 100% deterministic but you still don't know what happens next it should, for the most part, not affect how you go about your daily life. What this means for parenting is you can kick aside all extracurricular crap like Taekwondo, 3 other sports, and private school tuitions.

Anecdotally I've seen this play out over and over again. In-laws were booksmart libertarian parents who were completely hands off and let kids do their thing without any guidance or help. Their kids all have advanced degrees including an ivy leaguer on full ride scholarship. On the other hand you see rich people who made a fortune in real estate (every dumb rich guy ever) thru lucky idiot phenomenon struggle to help their dumb kids thru private school.

Ivy league schools don't have scholarships.

[Manhattan]

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Ivy league schools don't have scholarships.

Ok "financial aid". It's a fucking scholarship regardless of what you call it. Do you have a learn disability that makes you focus on the most minute of details completely inconsequential to the central idea.

https://financialaid.stanford.edu/un...pes/index.html

[spike98]

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I'm taking heat because the idea is so contrary to popular belief.

But its not

Environment in relation to educational outcomes

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528798/

Parenting style linked to short term and long term outcomes

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6480465/

This took me a total of 5 mins. If i were to spend a bit more time, I could come up with dozens more. Until you can show some of these "studies" I will conclude that you have literally no idea what you are talking about.

[suntan]

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Ok "financial aid". It's a fucking scholarship regardless of what you call it. Do you have a learn disability that makes you focus on the most minute of details completely inconsequential to the central idea.

https://financialaid.stanford.edu/un...pes/index.html

Just sayin', if they got the full ride, your in-laws not making much money.

In other words, getting into an Ivy League school is based entirely on performance.

What the student pays is entirely guardian-income based.

They have no scholarships based on performance.

[killramos]

Based on the content of this thread I wouldn’t get too hung up on your kids getting material scholarships