random facts about Chuck Norris

[Xtrema]

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php

[rahim]

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.


they have one for vin diesel too

[mac_82]

Chuck Norris is so hip, he can't even see over his pelvis.

Chuck Norris once fought off 42 ninjas bilndfolded, while having sex with 3 women.

Chuck Norris once made a movie using only the line, "I'm Chuck Fucking Norris" repeated hundreds of times. This movie never made it to the public because Vin Diesel was extremely jealous that Chuck Norris was the first one to come up with the idea of a movie involving street racing in the import scene. Vin destroyed all the movie footage, copyrighted the phrase "I'm Chuck Fucking Norris" and made The Fast and the Furious. In return Chuck Norris cast a spell on Vin Diesel that would make all his movies suck.

[heinz256]

Chuck Norris' semen can withstand 6.5 tonnes of Cyanide, no more, no less.

[Mad$ella]

Chuck Norris enjoys the taste of human flesh.

[hash]

Chuck Norris is in fact your father.

[blinkme_210]

Chuck Norris's hair is actually pubic hair taken from Hillary Clinton.

[?????]

Chuck Norris put the 'k' in 'hardkore.

[Skyline_Addict]

Chuck Norris is....*pulls Walker Texas Ranger lever*.

[BerserkerCatSplat]

On special occasions Chuck Norris eats the heart of a horse to gain superhuman fly swatting abilities.

Chuck Norris has sex with plot holes.

Chuck Norris is the real Slim Shady, but he lets Eminem claim the name to shake off his archenemy, Jesusbot 2000.

[b_t]

Originally posted by BerserkerCatSpl
Chuck Norris has sex with plot holes.

ahahahah!!! NICE!

Chuck Norris has the largest collection of Sailor Moon memorabilia in the Western Hemisphere.

Chuck Norris went on a drug trip with Raffi, which resulted in the lyrics for the song "Banana Phone".

[QuasarCav]

Chuck Norris is the wife of the late head of state and commander in chief of the armed forces of the federal republic of Nigeria who died on the 8th of June 1998, and needs your help to transfer $80 000 000 USD using your bank account.


Almost pissed myself on that one.

[2000_SI]

Chuck Norris once gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad that it eventually blew a hole out the back of the president's head, killing him.

[Xtrema]

Sometimes when you aren't looking Chuck Norris will sneak into your house and masturbate in your sock drawer. The end result being a pair of socks that can keep your feet cool and dry all day long



The two 'atomic bombs' dropped on Japan in World War Two were actually two small parts of Chuck Norris' left testicle, which he graciously donated to defeat Hitler and the Axis powers in 1943. Since then he has regenerated said testicle, and in the process made Tim McGraw a bigger douche.



A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at your grimly.



Chuck Norris singlehandledy discovered the fifth element while jacking off to Michael Jackson's "Beat it"



This thing is hours of fun.

[Z_Fan]

Chuck Norris believes strongly in ending world hunger. He plans to do this by terminating the populations of all third world countries.



Hmmmph, and I thought I had that idea first.

[bonnieclyde240]

The character Quagmire from Family Guy is based on Chuck Norris, the only difference being that Chuck Norris slept with as many women as Quagmire as between 3:51 am and 11:49 am on April 26, 1992. The only reason he stopped was to go help Sublime write a new song.

[JeremyD]

The lead role for The Pacifier was chosen all depending on a game of Counter-Strike between Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris. Vin Diesel won the game, but only because he was camping. In an angered state of rage, Chuck Norris notified God and got Vin Diesel banned from Earth. That took him down a peg.

Unlike most of the civilized world, Chuck Norris will actually recieve 73 green-eyed virgins when he dies.

The famous video footage of Sasquatch is actually Chuck Norris returning to his woodland home after a night of binge drinking and unprotected sex.

[Xtrema]

Unfunny submissions are slowly killing it.

[old&slow]

There is no Chuck Norris!

[schurchill39]

Chuck Norris once ate a Mongolian child's brain with his nipples.

The "S" on Superman's suit was woven out of chest hair taken from Chuck Norris as he lay unconscious from an intense Total Gym workout session. This is the true source of Superman's powers.

Once, Chuck Norris pulled 12 white rabbits out of his ass.


MY FAVORITE: Chuck Norris invented the douche after performing cunnilingus on a "not-so-fresh" Betty White