A letter to the good people at Tide...
Dear Tide:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it
since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white
blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how
clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my
white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it
just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped
and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise
and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out
so well, that some nice detectives who came by yesterday told me that the
DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be
considered a suspect!
Thank you once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go.
I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...
Signed,
Relieved menopausal wife
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