I won a Cancun vacation, but she won't go with me :(

[Super_Geo]

Transcript of a call I just got... it took me a while, but I think I finally have their system figured out:

I pick up the phone to this prerecorded intro, and my heart skips a beat and, knowing what will come next, I'm as excited as a kid on Christmas morning:
AS A VALUED WESTJET CUSTOMER, YOU HAVE JUST WON A FREE TRIP! PRESS 1 TO ACCEPT

Me: 1

[Dorky synth music]

Guy: Hello sir, congratulations, and in order to be eligible you have to be at least 25 and have a valid credit card. Are you over 25?
Me: Yes sir, I certainly am.
Guy: Great! Let me transfer you to one of our agents.

[Dorky synth music]

Susan: Hello! My name is Susan, how are you doing today?
Me: I'm doing great, Susan.
Susan: And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?
Me: I'm Joe
Susan: Well hi there, Joe. I just wanted to let you know that you have an opportunity for a Mexican vacation-
Me:-Susan, sorry to cut you off, but I thought I won a Westjet flight?
Susan: Sir?
Me: Yeah, Westjet... aren't you guys with Westjet?
Susan: No, sir, we're not, our company provides special promotions for Mexican vacations
Me: Wow, that really sounds great. I can really use a break from all this terrible weather we've been having.
Susan: Well this it's a good thing we called, isn't it? [laughs]
Me: Susan, it's a GREAT thing you called.
Susan: Ok, so to check availabilities, I will first need your verify your phone numb-
Me:-Susan, sorry to cut you off again, but will I be able to bring my kids on this vacation? I have a little boy.
Susan: You certainly will be able to, sir, and if you let me go over our package we can-
Me:-Ok, that's great. Do you have kids as well, Susan?
Susan: I do... yes, I have a daughter.
Me: Great! Must be a handful, how old is she?
Susan: She's 8.
Me: They're so much fun at that age. Ok, sorry, go on...
Susan: Alright, so let me go over the details of our promotion and then at the end of it you can make an informed decision on whether or not this is something you want to take advantage of.
Me:[big laugh] Hahaha, sorry, did you say "take advantage of."
Susan: Sir?
Me: Sorry, I probably shouldn't have laughed... but that is exactly what I tell my son's friends when they come over for sleep overs... "don't tell anyone that Uncky Joe touched you down there, you don't want to take advantage of Uncky Joe's generosity, do you?"
Susan: ...
Me: Ok Susan, that was a joke, but seriously, have you ever thought about having a stranger pay to shove a dildo up your 8 year old daughter's ass? I'm a wealthy guy, and trust me I'd make it worth it for you.
Susan: SOMEONE SHOULD DO THAT TO YOU, YOU... YOU...SICK-O!
Me: Seriously Susan, I'm going to cut out your daughter's asshole and wear it for a bracelet.
Susan: [mumbles something about me being a 'fucking pervert']
[Susan loudly hangs up on me]

You had me at hello, Susan...

[davidI]

Possibly a little too far...

[project240]

I've gotten a few calls along these lines, however, the transcript wasn't exactly the same...

[Super_Geo]

Originally posted by davidI
Possibly a little too far...

Haha I will say anything to these fucking scam artist scumbag pieces of shit. I asked to be put on their do not call list and they won't stop calling, so I figure anything is fair game

What I found is that you can't really offend them unless you built some rapport first... and then steamroll them out of left field just as they're about to go on their rehearsed speech.

[jaysas_63]

she has your number, name, and possibly a recording of the conversation.

Looks like if she lacks a sense of humor, she could deff charge you with sexual harassment, along with a whole slew of other BS charges.

gatta watch out with some people man.

[Super_Geo]

Originally posted by jaysas_63
she has your number, name, and possibly a recording of the conversation.

Looks like if she lacks a sense of humor, she could deff charge you with sexual harassment, along with a whole slew of other BS charges.

gatta watch out with some people man.

I don't think they can do fuck all about it... they called me, I didn't call them, as far as I know, I can say whatever I want to them, cause who knows what state I was in when they called? What if I was blackout drunk? Surely I can't be held liable, it's not like I went out of my way to say those terrible things to some unsuspecting person.

Also, all they have is a phone number and a fake name. I highly doubt they'd bother trying to take it any further, but I fucking hope they do... I would love to see what they think they can do about it.

[jaysas_63]

Originally posted by Super_Geo


I don't think they can do fuck all about it... they called me, I didn't call them, as far as I know, I can say whatever I want to them, cause who knows what state I was in when they called? What if I was blackout drunk? Surely I can't be held liable, it's not like I went out of my way to say those terrible things to some unsuspecting person.

Also, all they have is a phone number and a fake name. I highly doubt they'd bother trying to take it any further, but I fucking hope they do... I would love to see what they think they can do about it.

you're probably right. I just tend to err on the side of caution.

[jdmSiR]

Haha SO Excellent!

[The_Rural_Juror]

As annoying as these telemarketers are, it's just someone trying to make a living with a shitty job. Probably a little too far with the daughter comment.

[Godfuader]

I once went through the entire process. I took it right to when they ask for my credit card info. I just said I don't have a credit card because I'm only 17. She just yelled back that the first question was if I was old enough. I said that I have a fake id to get into places, but if she is old enough, we can go together....*muffled swearing*...Click!

[Disoblige]

Originally posted by Super_Geo

Me: Seriously Susan, I'm going to cut out your daughter's asshole and wear it for a bracelet.

LOL.. Gold man.

[nismodrifter]

Hardcore trolling sir

[TorqueDog]

Originally posted by Godfuader
I once went through the entire process. I took it right to when they ask for my credit card info. I just said I don't have a credit card because I'm only 17. She just yelled back that the first question was if I was old enough. I said that I have a fake id to get into places, but if she is old enough, we can go together....*muffled swearing*...Click!

I do a similar one, but I read out the first four numbers of my VISA card (to pass any automated verification that it is indeed a VISA of some sort), then provide a bunch of bullshit numbers to satisfy the remaining digits. When they ask for an expiry date, I start to talk and immediately hang-up the phone.

[BokCh0y]

bwahahaha nice work!!!

The cut off the asshole part and wear it as a bracelet is gold.

[GorG]

ha ha thats gold i might use a similar approach next time they call me

[mazdavirgin]

Originally posted by The_Rural_Juror
As annoying as these telemarketers are, it's just someone trying to make a living with a shitty job. Probably a little too far with the daughter comment.

They are making a living by scamming people that comment is not far enough for this scum.

[freshprince1]

Wow, definitely too far, but I busted a gut laughing here at work. I'd never have the balls to take it that far. Good on you.

[derpderp]

Originally posted by The_Rural_Juror
As annoying as these telemarketers are, it's just someone trying to make a living with a shitty job. Probably a little too far with the daughter comment.

I mostly rob people at gun point, but it is a shitty job taking advantage of the vulnerable for a living, I dropped out of High School and it's the best I can do...

Don't judge me!

[Power_Of_Rotary]

to far or not, what was the point? it wasnt that funny

[Str1der]

weak