TEAR YOUR FAMILY APART! Inconsequential household debates during COVID-19 Crisis

[suntan]

A few months ago, some guy on our floor took a dump all over the stall. Everywhere. All over the walls, behind the toilet, on the floor, on the door. Guess he lost his job.

[benyl]

shitty.

[killramos]

One way or another you know he was having a shit day

[Disoblige]

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I almost exclusively poop while on the clock.

Clean toilets is a bonus.

But then you sit on a dirty toilet and inhale 50 other dude's poop/piss particles.

[littledan]

Not if you wear an ill-fitting paper medical mask! Because science!

[Disoblige]

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Not if you wear an ill-fitting paper medical mask! Because science!

They make ill-fitting paper masks for my ass?

[ThePenIsMightier]

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They make ill-fitting paper masks for my ass?

That's what the guy used who sprayed up the stall!

[ShermanEF9]

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They make ill-fitting paper masks for my ass?

[TomcoPDR]

Is that mall cop

[Buster]

I heard an office story from a friend that involved a guy putting the paper hand towels down in the toilet water and then shitting on them. So you had a floating shit island with exposed dumps sitting there until someone came along and flushed it. Apparently the guy's bathroom at the office did not smell good. Anyway, they could never figure out who the shitting bandit was until he got caught red handed on day. They fired him.

[killramos]

“So explain why you left your last job”

The masterclass version of that would be to plug the toilet before laying the shit island.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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I heard an office story from a friend that involved a guy putting the paper hand towels down in the toilet water and then shitting on them. So you had a floating shit island with exposed dumps sitting there until someone came along and flushed it. Apparently the guy's bathroom at the office did not smell good. Anyway, they could never figure out who the shitting bandit was until he got caught red handed on day. They fired him.

I RoFL'd!!!

I used to work at a place with "The Spackler" which I firmly believe was actually a composite of multiple assailants.

Then there's the guy who shits out something the size of a man's forearm, knows what he's accomplished and leaves it there, no paper. Never paper! Me and this crazy warehouse guy nearly pissed our pants laughing about how the artist decided to not foul his creation with TP.

Fuck, I sort of miss those days.
And I'd bet a today-paycheque that SKR would drop a toilet shatterer, no paper, for the world to see.
That guy's a friggin genius!

[SkiBum5.0]

WFH has made office shits the best. I’ve had the lights go out a few times

[Darkane]

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WFH has made office shits the best. I’ve had the lights go out a few times

Using phone flash for wipe light?

Gotta do what you gotta do. And don’t tell me you go by feel haha

[Buster]

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I RoFL'd!!!

I used to work at a place with "The Spackler" which I firmly believe was actually a composite of multiple assailants.

Then there's the guy who shits out something the size of a man's forearm, knows what he's accomplished and leaves it there, no paper. Never paper! Me and this crazy warehouse guy nearly pissed our pants laughing about how the artist decided to not foul his creation with TP.

Fuck, I sort of miss those days.
And I'd bet a today-paycheque that SKR would drop a toilet shatterer, no paper, for the world to see.
That guy's a friggin genius!

Sometimes you get those shits you don't need to wipe. And it's got nothing to do with size. Some call it "dealing an ace".

[suntan]

When I was at WestJet there was a guy that would pick his nose and smear the booger on the wall over the urinal.

[nismodrifter]

@rage2 had an epic thread about a snot bandit. Can't remember if they caught him or not. DNA testing was involved.

[ThePenIsMightier]

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Sometimes you get those shits you don't need to wipe. And it's got nothing to do with size. Some call it "dealing an ace".

I've always called it "the coveted no-wipe" but others tell tale of a "ghost wipe".

These dumps showed up frequently enough at work that I guarantee it was a statement. He wiped and pocketed the evidence to the next stall. One time Mikey tried to flush it using his foot and we watched laughing as the turd went maybe a quarter down before the toilet plugged.

I don't know what this monster ate or who he was, but it was unbelievable.

[ExtraSlow]

Is it more disgusting to find shit INSIDE an office garbage can or BESIDE one?

[SKR]

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Is it more disgusting to find shit INSIDE an office garbage can or BESIDE one?

It's disgusting to find outside of anyone's home toilet. Shit at home you goddamn animals.