Originally Posted by
tonytiger55
If he wants to get better than that is the first step.
I would not recommend him stopping drinking right away. That can be bad if not fatal. Its best he speak to a professional to assess how bad his addiction is. The alcoholics lie to themselves on how they are drinking. I used to run a bar and a liquor store. Its a eye opener. AA or rehab are not bad ideas. But I would start with a professional first to figure out how much is a lot.
But it is a journey in itself to find out WHY he is drinking, that is one of the steps in stopping. It can be a number of reasons. Past trauma, the way his wife speaks to him or treats him, does he have a purpose, financial reasons...? It could be a combination.
But if he is stubborn then there is another way. I personally think having good male support/company with good habits is absolutely vital in that journey of recovery. I can't stress this enough. A safe place where he can release with no judgement mentally. It could be something like having him over for wings once a week. Playing pool or helping you on a hobby.
My late father father was a alcoholic. He cleaned up in the last decade. But I remember as a early preteen is helping carrying my dad out of the car as he had drank so much and could not walk or stopping massive fights at home ..the list is fucking endless. If I could pick one thing that would have made the biggest difference to my dads alcohol habit, I wish there was in those times was other good adult males. Men that my dad could turn to for indirect support though good habits or hobbies. Not only that but other women to talk to my mum to correct some of her behaviour. There was none. Its a community issue.
I cannot stress the importance of having other men there to help. One of my ex girlfriends tuned out to be a major alcoholic too. I cannot stress the importance of having good people of the same sex around with good habits to support that person.